To think that a 75th birthday is not cause for a massive celebration?

[Spodge]

DM will be turning 75 this year and has made it known that she wants a huge fuss made of her. She made no particular fuss of DF when he turned 75. It was just treated as a normal birthday.

I've always thought that the milestone birthdays are 18 and/or 21 and then 30, 40, 50 etc.

Just interested in whether others count 75 as a milestone.

75 is big, yes, because it's 3/4 way through a century. However, it isn't £1000 big, unless you happen to be very well off. I don't have that kind of money. For my mum's 75th I made a big effort with her present, although it wasn't expensive it was thoughtful and unique.

Depends how likely you are to make 80. Or if the people around you will still be there when you are 80.

I think it is a big celebration, I would be very pleased if I make it to 75. It seems like there is something else going on here though?

IMO she’s the one who’s BU. In this family it’s never the person with the Big Birthday who makes a fuss about wanting a big do - it’s their relatives, even when the person isn’t remotely bothered.

I suppose 75 is a bit of a milestone though - 3/4 of a century - esp. when you consider the alternative. (Would have put a Grim Reaper emoji there if I could have found one!)

Tell her you can't afford it but that you'd be happy to take her out for supper or for afternoon tea (or whatever you can afford)

I would count it as a milestone! Neither my mother or MIL made it to 60, only one of my grandparents made 70. None of DHs grandparents made it to 75.

I agree wth the PP saying that any adult who DEMANDS a mahoosive expensive labour-intensive fuss for their birthday is a bit of a tool.

My DM is always trying to guilt-trip people like this and it's massively offputting. Time for a pub lunch with the immediate family, a card and a smallish birthday cake imo.

Yes you can celebrate 75 but in context if she doesnt bother for anyone else i wouldnt bother for her

I would count it as a milestone too. Every 5 years from 70 for sure.
OP- How long ago was your dad’s 75th birthday? Can you have a small party/event for the whole family so he’s included?
I’d also be a bit 😱 about the £500/night hotel, I mean would that even include food/drinks/presents/decorations....

Celebrate! My mum will be 85 this year and it’s party time! At this age, every birthday is a celebration. for her 83rd she had a trip out on the back of a Harley with a load of hairy bikers as an escort. Brought the village to a standstill!!!

@EuroMillionsWinner

Anyone who expects others to make a huge fuss over their sodding birthday past the age of about 25 is unreasonable, tedious and a bloody diva.

WOW, you sound charming! Bet life is a fun-loving bowl of cherries in YOUR household.

@Spodge

YABVVVVVVVVU! And mean!

My Dad died at 59, and oh Dad at 46, I would love if they were here for they’re 75th.

Their

I agree with you, only I would include 65 or 66 or when someone retires as a reason to celebrate.

My granny made a big thing about her 87,88,89,90 th birthday but now she's 95, not so much. 😁

Theire ffs

I would, yes!

I don’t really get making a big deal of adult birthdays beyond age 18. So self indulgent. I never attend adult birthday parties either, although I do send cards. So no, 75 isn’t special, any more than 74 or 76 is.

After a certain age, adult birthdays are a big deal. It’s fine to celebrate still being here.

She shouldn't have to 'make it known.' You should be doing it anyway: cake, flowers, dinner out at the very least.

She wants them to pay £1000 a head for hotel rooms. And that's just the rooms - there will be a whole lot of other costs on top of that.

I had to throw away the birthday card I spent hours crafting for my mother’s 70th. I got to attend her funeral instead.

If your mom wants to celebrate 75, then do it. Don’t spend money you can’t afford, but get together with your df, figure out a budget, and do the work of planning a celebration.

Anyone who expects others to make a huge fuss over their sodding birthday past the age of about 25 is unreasonable, tedious and a bloody diva.

And on this, people who can't accept that other people quite like celebrating their birthdays are miserable, mean-minded curmudgeons.

Oh @Purpleartichoke, so sorry 💐

Sounds to me as though she may be thinking a family get together would be good as she and your dd are getting older.

Her 75th is a great reason for that.
Very expensive though and not reasonable for you all to be expected to afford it if you can’t.

Why didn’t you arrange something for your Df birthday - you knew he’d probably like something. Or why didn’t you organise something with your mum for him ?
Feels as though there’s family tension stopping you all just making sure you’re all as happy as possible ???
75 is as big as the person turning it wants it to be. I think it’s a pretty big one.
My ma died days after her 85th and I’m extremely glad we made a bit more of a fuss of her than usual birthday fuss and that she had a really lovely day.
Good luck whatever you do do.

I don't like the idea that you only get birthday fuss if your older spouse had birthday fuss. Slightly older DH hates fuss about his own birthday, I like a party/ meal out / celebration / cake (cake every year, the rest on different years). He would hate to be the centre of attention at a party, I'm amazed we managed to have a wedding do! He has a great time at other people's events, so we use my birthday / other events to repay that hospitality. He's fine with parties so long as they aren't his. Hope my kids throw me a do when I'm too old to do it myself, even if he doesn't want one!
75 would be amazing in my family, no one has ever got there.