To think that a 75th birthday is not cause for a massive celebration?

[Spodge]

DM will be turning 75 this year and has made it known that she wants a huge fuss made of her. She made no particular fuss of DF when he turned 75. It was just treated as a normal birthday.

I've always thought that the milestone birthdays are 18 and/or 21 and then 30, 40, 50 etc.

Just interested in whether others count 75 as a milestone.

Just saw your update. Expecting others to pay a large amount isn’t on, whatever the birthday. She needs to do something she can afford to pay for, or limit it to something affordable for everyone else, such as a meal out.

oh sorry, I didn't see the hotel bit

just ignore me OP - apologies. Scrolling too enthusiastically!

Both of my parents died in their early 50s. If I make it to 60, every year after that is going to be a milestone as far as I'm concerned.

But even if that wasn't the case, I think 75 is milestone.

She has been making noises about us all going away for a couple of nights to a hotel that will cost min. £500 per night. She's been gracious enough not to expect us to pay for her but just for ourselves...

Wow, how generous of her, to expect you all to pay out £1000 for her fucking birthday on the hotel alone?! I'd just tell her, RIGHT now, 'I don't have the money for that kind of celebration, sorry.' Or just don't book anything. Fuck that! Cannot imagine my kids to pay £1000 to celebrate my birthday! You need to be clear right now.

Just give her the big celebration she wants OP.

What if she doesn't make it to 80? You may wish then that you'd made a big fuss of her for her 75th.

Make her happy and have a good time together.

Well, without sounding unkind, my mum died unexpectedly and suddenly at 75. She didn't make it to 76. I would if I were you. You really don't know what's around the corner ❤️

She has been making noises about us all going away for a couple of nights to a hotel that will cost min. £500 per night. She's been gracious enough not to expect us to pay for her but just for ourselves

Either do it, pay the £500. Or suggest something cheaper but something she would equally enjoy if you can't afford it. Job done.

I wish we’d made more of a fuss for my dad’s 99th, we were saving it fo his century but he didn’t make it. A £500 a night hotel’s outrageous though, who chooses that?

I made a fuss of my fiftieth. I paid for a nice lodge for a weekend and look everyone out for a nice meal. No one else was required to spend money. I'd have been bloody lonely if anyone else had to pay £500!!!

We could all drop dead tomorrow. Ridiculous to expect your kids to spend £1000 each on your birthday, for just the hotel.

As for expecting you to pay your own way (thanks for drip feed) that's a different matter - just explain you can't afford it if you can't, but would still love to do something special together.

I’d seriously expect a party every year from my 70th. Women live long in our family so folk better start saving up!

YABU. It might be the last big birthday she's proper healthy for.
Of course 80, 90 etc are amazing but we're less likely to be fighting fit for them.

I do think 75 is a thing.... diamond wedding anniversary, diamond jubilee etc. 75 years is definitely celebrated in various circumstances.

I wouldn't spend silly money though!

It's hard to ask this tactfully but has she outlived her own parents if she gets to 75, OP? It may be a big thing for her.

I think it is reasonable to make a fuss of five-year birthdays as well as the big-o ones at that age, however an expensive hotel stay may not be the way to do it IMO! Can you suggest something that she would like but more reasonably priced?

Throw her a massive party and make her happy. Maybe DF didn't want a fuss and thats why he didnt have one but she clearly does. Good on her

I Never celebrated 18, 21, 30 so not going to bother with 40 but might do 50 and every 5 years after. It’s her big day, help her celebrate 🎉

@WorraLiberty - no. He did not ask for a fuss. He never would ask, but he has on occasion been pleased with an offer of fuss.

For all those suspecting backstory - yes, there's plenty of that. And I am going to go along with making a fuss, within reason, but my budget does not stretch to a grand even if she thinks it ought to.

The main purpose of this thread was simply to see if 75 is commonly regarded as a big one. Had I realised that it is I might have prompted a bit of fuss for DF and then I wouldn't be annoyed about the lack of it now! kicks self

Maybe she is worried she won't make it to the next one?

Don't be mean.

I think it is a milestone. All th 5 numbers are milestones beyond 70 in my opinion. Making the next 5 is a big deal. And not to taken for granted.

Yes, I think it is. We’d made plans for my mum’s 80th to go to Italy. She died just before Xmas. My sister and niece and I are still going...it’s all booked. Appreciate her now!

In the last 6 months i have has 3 friends die, all of them 67, so yes i think 75 is something to celebrate. OP be thankful your Mum is still here and hope and pray you get to plan her 76th

@ChicCroissant - no. She will have got further than her father but her mother made mid 80s in pretty good shape until the very end.