To think that a 75th birthday is not cause for a massive celebration?

[Spodge]

DM will be turning 75 this year and has made it known that she wants a huge fuss made of her. She made no particular fuss of DF when he turned 75. It was just treated as a normal birthday.

I've always thought that the milestone birthdays are 18 and/or 21 and then 30, 40, 50 etc.

Just interested in whether others count 75 as a milestone.

I turned 75 last year, didn't want a big splash, just thankful that I reached it!

Do not know the OPs financial circumstances £500 a night might be a big chunk of money for them.

She’s not unreasonable to want a family get together but £500 is too much to ask others to pay for the accommodation. I’d love to get a cottage and have close family together for my next milestone birthday but I can’t afford it and wouldn’t expect everyone to fork out for it. The important thing is to have the people I love around and the celebration itself comes second.

Would your DF have wanted/appreciated a fuss making on his birthday or was he not into that sort of thing? Some people want no fuss, others a big old bash and everything in between. I don’t think there’s a wrong or a right or an appropriate or inappropriate birthday to make special.

£500 a night is a lot of money for most people I imagine.

On average women live to 75 so it feels like a big deal to her. So nIce of her to offer to spend 1k of your money though. . If she wants a bash, she needs to pay for it... or ensure what you do you’re both ok with and it’s within your means.

I do understand the point about your dad. How about doing something special for his next birthday even if that’s going to be 77 or whatever.

75 is a big one, we celebrated DF and DPIL with a big celebration meal with all the extended family.

Do not know the OPs financial circumstances £500 a night might be a big chunk of money for them.

And the mum wants 'a couple of nights'. I don't know many people who can just chuck over £1000 on just the hotel for someone's birthday.

None of my grandparents made it to 80, my parents are 60s atm so Yeha, if they wanna celebrate their 75 we will be celebrating their 75th.
My gran died a month short of her 80th

I think by the time you're 70 you then get to celebrate as a milestone birthday every 5 years as you dont know if you'll make another milesfons

If you want to go and can afford it then go.

If you can't afford it then don't.

Yes, I would. Any reason why she shouldn’t?

If she gets to 80 and isn’t as well or as keen/able for a big birthday, you may regret!

Wait and see until if and when you make 75 whether you think it’s worth celebrating.

£1000pp is preposterous.

She shouldn't have to 'make it known.' You should be doing it anyway: cake, flowers, dinner out at the very least.
How many milestone birthdays will she have left?
Hope your children are equally enthusiastic when it's your turn!

We held a family party for my Mums 75th on the basis that she had Alzheimer's dementia so probably wouldn't be aware by the time her 80th came round. She died less than a month after her 77th birthday so very glad we made the effort and we have some nice memories and photos.

Yep 75 is a milestone in our family. My grandad only had two big birthday bashes post-retirement: 75 and 90!

But she is BU to expect people to afford that much. A fuss can be made without having people spend so much money.

Well I'm having a garden party this Summer for Mum's 65th. Then again we're a "Any Excuse for a Party" family.

But if she wants to celebrate in a £500per night hotel, she should go on her own with your dad - and have a more low-key celebration with the rest of the family/friends. It shouldn't have to be flashy. Unless she's treating you all?

We made a big deal to celebrate my husband’s gran’s 89th last week, her mother died a few days before her 90th birthday (party all planned too) so you know just in case we make a big deal of every birthday now. If your mother wants a big thing, let her have one, I mean hopefully she’ll have another 25 birthdays and then some but well you never know. Let her have a celebration.

She might die before she turns 80

People need to read the massive drip feed from the OP...

I'll be celebrating my 66th when I eventually get a state pension. I know too many who never made it.

Does it matter if it's not a 'hallmark milestone' really? Maybe she just wants a bit of fuss. Maybe your father just didn't.

Let's face it, there isn't really anything more special about a birthday ending with a 0 is there? It's still just one day and you're still only really a day older than the day before.