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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think checkout lady was being OTT about alcohol and child?

445 replies

Potkettlexx · 20/02/2020 15:02

In supermarket yesterday with DD 7. DD struggles at school so I let her help with shopping to get her used to the concept.

Bought some bread and small gift pack bottle baileys £5 for in-laws bday.

Got DD to scan the gift box and the bread and press the correct buttons etc... (dd Aldo has some sensory and coordination difficulties so again it helps this doing practical things)

DD wanted to pay with my card so I told her what buttons to press and gave her the card to tap on card reader. Dd didn’t really understand so I just gently took it from her and tapped my card myself.

Before I took over, dd was trying and the woman supervising the self service tills piled up ‘ohh you’ll have to be the one that pats with the card’ or something to that affect.

I was thinking.... for real?!

I get that they need to be very careful when selling alcohol....

I get that a 15 year old can look 18....

I get that an 18 year old could be potentially buying it for younger friends....

I get that they could be disciplined if they were willingly selling alcohol to under 18’s....

But for goodness sake, surely common sense would say she really didn’t need to say that under the circumstances.

After all, the reason the sale of alcohol is forbidden to under 18’s is incase they drink it and quite right.

That’s not the same as the this situation. It was clearly evident I was the one ‘buying it’ and giving my consent. Does she honestly think I was planning on giving it to my 7 year old?! 🙄

OP posts:
Lllot5 · 20/02/2020 15:04

We’ve had a similar thread to this the other day. The server has to be scrupulous over this. She would be fined and sacked if anything inappropriate was sold.

BeyondMyWits · 20/02/2020 15:06

It does not matter. Your 7 year old is not allowed by law to buy alcohol. That means paying for it by whatever means.

She can be held responsible and sacked or prosecuting for selling alcohol to a 7 years old.

so yes, for real.

Ohyesiam · 20/02/2020 15:06

She needs to stick to the law and keep her job rather than keep you happy.

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 20/02/2020 15:07

As she was holding the card your daughter is the one technically handing over the cash to pay.
As the lady manning the self service checkout is still for all intents and purposes the cashier, she could still get penalised for it, it would be the same if you went through a manned checkout unfortunately.

Original poster
Potkettlexx · 20/02/2020 15:07

Oh I never seen the other thread but bet it was interesting.

I was there though and clearly in full control of everything. It was very obvious she was helping me.

OP posts:
Strongmummy · 20/02/2020 15:09

Not sure I’d care

FakeFraudSquad · 20/02/2020 15:10

YABU expecting an employee to break the law so your seven year old could tap a card.

Why should she break the law and risk her employment?

What a horrible attitude to have towards a store employee who was only doing her job.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 20/02/2020 15:10

Unfortunately the law is strict and she could lose her job, however absurd it might seem.

Original poster
Potkettlexx · 20/02/2020 15:11

And that’s all very well saying the technically dd bought the alcohol, but for anything to go ‘wrong’, I would have to give her it to drink.

Do you honestly think someone would have the time or money to take the lady to court? Who would do that? Again, the only way would be if I gave dd the alcohol to drink.

OP posts:
cherryblossomgin · 20/02/2020 15:12

She was just doing her job. Maybe they have had a secret shopper doing a check and have been warned.

Raffles1981 · 20/02/2020 15:13

This happened to my friend when she worked in a supermarket. She was reported by another customer (assuming) for allowing a woman to let her daughter to scan and pay. My friend got a written warning and had to pay £80. It was a horrible time for her and she was very upset. It seems small and silly to you, but it's her job and record that will be affected. Laws and there for a reason.

Thetigeronthewobbelboard · 20/02/2020 15:13

It does seem mad but I understand they could get in trouble. I agree though that it’s crazy. My 18 month old taps my cards most times when I pay and has done since about nine months. It hasn’t occurred for anyone to mind!

Original poster
Potkettlexx · 20/02/2020 15:14

@FakeFraudSquad

Give over a horrible attitude. What a horrible attitude you’ve got to another mumsnetter that dares to question something!

OP posts:
ItsAllTheDramaMickIJustLoveIt · 20/02/2020 15:14

It’s the law that no one under 18 is allowed to buy alcohol and given that the member is staff is personally responsible and therefore is personally liable for a massive fine, you can bet your arse they follow the law rigidly.

Thetigeronthewobbelboard · 20/02/2020 15:14

To clarify you are not being unreasonable because the law is crazy on this. However neither was the lady in the shop who could get in trouble.

Willow2017 · 20/02/2020 15:15

It was very obvious she was helping me.

It might seem like nothing much to you but if the child is seen to buy the alcohol by using the card then the assistant is in big trouble. It doesnt matter that we all know you were buying it. All it takes is a mystery shopper in the store behind you to flag this up and assistant is hauled up for selling to a minor.
We dont make the damm rules but we have to stick to them.
Your DD doesnt come first over someone elses job.

vhs95 · 20/02/2020 15:15

Another entitled post, seem to have been a spate of them recently (breastfeeding in a shoe shop, taking baby out on Valentine's Day). When your daughter is 16 and (possibly) trying to buy alcohol you'll be pleased there are laws in place to protect her.

Microwavedtea · 20/02/2020 15:15

The shop assistant could have got in a lot of trouble and fined if they had allowed it. As silly as it sounds to you, if it were me, I would do the same thing.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 20/02/2020 15:17

@Potkettlexx
Again, the only way would be if I gave dd the alcohol to drink.

No, the offence is buying or attempting to buy age restricted products.

Trading Standards might well be interested.

Original poster
Potkettlexx · 20/02/2020 15:17

I get that the woman felt the need to say this.

I get that it’s part of her job.

I’m not annoyed with her personality as I know she felt she had to say it.

I find it OTT however that she feels age has to say it.

I won’t do it again as it’s clearly a no go. I just find it ridiculous that another customer would complain about it.

It’s along the lines of asking a 50 year d for ID.

OP posts:
JuniperBeer · 20/02/2020 15:18

Licensing teams give fines out like sweets.
The shop you were in would be issued with a fine if a licensing officer witnessed it, and it's almost certain the worker would lose her job.
The law is the law.

I'm more surprised that the self service till didn't beep after the alcohol was scanned to alert a staff member to come over to authorise the sale first.

Don't be a dick.

steppemum · 20/02/2020 15:18

And that’s all very well saying the technically dd bought the alcohol, but for anything to go ‘wrong’, I would have to give her it to drink.

no technically if your dd buys it, the shop (and the till operator) have broken the law.
The shop isn't really interested in who does what with it once it gets home.

So they are just protecting themselves.
A bit OTT, but I can see both sides

ACautionaryTale · 20/02/2020 15:18

@Potkettlexx

Actually, you are allowed to give it to her once you get home as long as she is five or over.

Which is why the rule is batshit in the first place. If I want to buy my kid alcohol I am allowed to.

JuniperBeer · 20/02/2020 15:18

She doesn't "feel she has to say it"
She HAS to say it.

Original poster
Potkettlexx · 20/02/2020 15:19

@vhs95

Not the same at all as a 16 year old buying it

OP posts: