To think checkout lady was being OTT about alcohol and child?

[Potkettlexx]

In supermarket yesterday with DD 7. DD struggles at school so I let her help with shopping to get her used to the concept.

Bought some bread and small gift pack bottle baileys £5 for in-laws bday.

Got DD to scan the gift box and the bread and press the correct buttons etc... (dd Aldo has some sensory and coordination difficulties so again it helps this doing practical things)

DD wanted to pay with my card so I told her what buttons to press and gave her the card to tap on card reader. Dd didn’t really understand so I just gently took it from her and tapped my card myself.

Before I took over, dd was trying and the woman supervising the self service tills piled up ‘ohh you’ll have to be the one that pats with the card’ or something to that affect.

I was thinking.... for real?!

I get that they need to be very careful when selling alcohol....

I get that a 15 year old can look 18....

I get that an 18 year old could be potentially buying it for younger friends....

I get that they could be disciplined if they were willingly selling alcohol to under 18’s....

But for goodness sake, surely common sense would say she really didn’t need to say that under the circumstances.

After all, the reason the sale of alcohol is forbidden to under 18’s is incase they drink it and quite right.

That’s not the same as the this situation. It was clearly evident I was the one ‘buying it’ and giving my consent. Does she honestly think I was planning on giving it to my 7 year old?! 🙄

I wasn’t going to give my dd it

Giving it to her, at home, isn’t against the law. Buying it when you are under 18 is.

You might not like it but that is the law.

OP I'm not sure which bit of this you are (choosing) not to understand. People who work in shops have to stick to the law - they are ones who are fined/sacked if they are 'caught' by a mystery shopper sent by the company to monitor staff compliance.

It's not about another customer complaining, it's about staff being punished for not following rules - and the staff understand this, hence why you were challenged. It's not up to you to say it's 'stupid' or 'unfair' or anything else like that as if someone's picking on you and your DD personally.

To give you and example, one of my Godchildren works for a well-known UK supermarket. She is over 18, but under 25. She regularly serves friends she went to school with - she knows they are the same age as her, but she CANNOT let them go through her till without asking for ID for alcohol. She'd be sacked at worst, and fined (several thousand pounds) at best if she did. She does, sadly, get moaned at and insulted by customers like yourself on a daily basis, but she doesn't make the rules.

And nor do you. Just stick to them, and have a bit of respect for the people in shops who have to deal with this kind of shit every single day.

Actually OP you could have been an agent if I didnt know you from Adam so again I am covering my ass if I was the assistant. They use 'parents and kids' scenarios sometimes too.

It’s absolutely ludicrous

You are just messing with us, aren't you. No one with IQ higher than a room temperature would think that it's ludicrous that under 18s aren't allowed to physically purchase alcohol🤷

@JuniperBeer

Oh I wasn’t embarrassed at all. I was just thinking how utterly ridiculous that she felt she had to tell me that when I was buying it dd just held my card for 3 seconds.

Not the cashiers fault I accept that but the circumstances were very clearly obvious.

Don’t think I’m above the law

Sorry, my son works in a supermarket. Your child was handling and buying alcohol and SHE is underage. All, this, well its not as though she was going to drink it because I say so.... how does the shop know?

Shops are constantly being tested on this. My son's supermarket is tested 6 times a month. Assistants are fined and the shop could lose their licence.

Why do you think YOU are so different and they can make an exception for you? Do you want someone to lose their job because you want to use the supermarket as some sort of play area.

Sorry but you are very very unreasonable!

YABU expecting an employee to break the law so your seven year old could tap a card

I agree with this, sorry. This isn't the place to be doing 'practical things'. You are expecting to someone to risk their job which is totally unfair.

Ds likes to “tip tap” my card. He knows if I am buying alcohol he isn’t allowed to.

I don’t see what your getting so upset about.

Oh I wasn’t embarrassed at all. I was just thinking how utterly ridiculous that she felt she had to tell me that when I was buying it dd just held my card for 3 seconds.

Oh sweet baby Jesus and all the little angels.
Are you being deliberately dense here?

She didn’t ‘feel’ she had to say it. She wasn’t doing it as some power trip. She has to, it’s the LAW.

You clearly do think you are above the law.

You might not think you are above the law, but you think your child's right to play at being a grown up is more important than a job for the shop worker.

She had to say it, what on earth makes you think she should risk her income over you indulging your child.

It might be a technicality, but it's one that shops have to take very seriously if they want to keep trading.

You think it was ok for your dd to purchase alcohol. That is above the law. Get over yourself. You're just being silly now!
Ludicrous is an exaggeration...

But again that’s different as you knew she was going to give her granddaughter it. I wasn’t going to give my dd it

She couldn't legally take your word on that. Also it was the sale of the alcohol that was the issue for the sales assistant. It might seem ridiculous to you if you have never worked in a role that required you to ask for ID but upper management come down so hard on you and there are serious consequences if you are caught out.

I used to work in a bookies when I was younger and the amount of people that would see no harm in bringing their children in while they filled out their bets was so frustrating. It wasn't a nice environment for them to be in anyway with known (to us at least) criminals and paedophiles but I would always be met with an indignant 'am I supposed to leave the bairn outside then?!' Well yeah, it's probably safer tbh.

Anyway that was some tangent YABU I'm afraid.

The think 25 thing is the ludicrous part of the policy. Law says 18 but you have to look 25. which is an incredibly subjective thing anyway

Sorry, you actually don't see the logic in that policy? That if 'looking 25' is subjective then looking 18 is as well? That the shop is far less likely to serve someone underage if the threshold for challenging is lower?

Unfortunately this is the sort of scenario that a mystery shopper would do to try to catch someone out. It’s not worth the risk for the employee so it’s never ott.

Some replies on here are brutal and unneccessary.
Be nice but firm.
You have all agreed that OP is in the wrong, no need to crucify her!

@MrsFrankDrebin

But that’s a worse situation than mine.

So you’re goddaughter won’t serve people alcohol even though she knows they are over 18??? That’s absolutely ridiculous as well. I’m not supposed she’s getting moaned at.

The only reason that the 25 rule is in place is because some 15/16/17 year olds can still look 18, but they’re unlikely to look 25.

To know they are old enough to buy alcohol but make them show ID is bonkers.

If you stand next to her while she pays you think that's ok? So what if you took one step away, or two, or waited in the car? It would still be your DD making the purchase whether you were next to her or a mile away. And that would be illegal for the shop and the assistant.
Believe me the authorities are very hot on fines and prosecution.
You were wrong, OP.

If trading standards were using you to be a test purchase the sales assistant would have failed and been fined.

You are being totally unreasonable.

Your DD can't buy knives either HTH 🙄

So you’re goddaughter won’t serve people alcohol even though she knows they are over 18??? That’s absolutely ridiculous as well.

Did you miss the bit where she could get sacked?

I work in a store - we don’t sell alcohol but there are loads of products where I need to ask for ID. A guy who was clearly underage tried to buy spray paint & didn’t have ID. I made the mistake of selling it to his friend ( who was old enough) but that’s “ sale by proxy” & I could have lost my job. Extremely lucky to be let off with a severe warning. Your situation was crazy OP but as pp’s have said, the cashier was doing her job

Out of interest OP what age do you think we should stop allowing children to buy alcohol?

YABVVVVVU. It’s like running a red light because you could see there was nothing coming, then being annoyed when you get a fine. The law is the law.

Commonsense doesn't overrule shop policy or the law. What seems obvious to you, might be interpreted differently by other people. The assistant was absolutely in the right to say you had to use your card. Some one else brought up how ludicrous it is to ask a 50 year old for ID. On a trip to the US a few years ago, I was constantly IDed and I found it irritating. I mentioned it to a bar tender and it was explained to me that in that State, the law was that anyone purchasing or consuming alcohol had to have an ID proving they were over the age limit, no exceptions. It doesn't matter how old you look, you must have ID. The law over children buying alcohol in this country is that they cannot do it, not, "But it's OK if a three year old taps her mother's card, because it was obvious her mother was buying the booze". Staff can't risk losing their jobs because there is no leeway for commonsense judgements. While it can be frustrating, it is ultimately done to protect children and to ensure zero tolerance towards shops that might try to sell alcohol or cigarettes to children (there were many in my day!). I wouldn't give it head space, OP, it is not a policy aimed at you but at businesses.

If you stand next to her while she pays you think that's ok? So what if you took one step away, or two, or waited in the car? It would still be your DD making the purchase whether you were next to her or a mile away.

I think it's crazy that some kind of common sense can't be applied here - absolutism like this is what causes so many issues.

How about we try this - if your child taps the card when you're not buying alcohol, your child just committed fraud and stole your money! Should you both be arrested? You for facilitating that fraud, and her for committing it?