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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think checkout lady was being OTT about alcohol and child?

445 replies

Potkettlexx · 20/02/2020 15:02

In supermarket yesterday with DD 7. DD struggles at school so I let her help with shopping to get her used to the concept.

Bought some bread and small gift pack bottle baileys £5 for in-laws bday.

Got DD to scan the gift box and the bread and press the correct buttons etc... (dd Aldo has some sensory and coordination difficulties so again it helps this doing practical things)

DD wanted to pay with my card so I told her what buttons to press and gave her the card to tap on card reader. Dd didn’t really understand so I just gently took it from her and tapped my card myself.

Before I took over, dd was trying and the woman supervising the self service tills piled up ‘ohh you’ll have to be the one that pats with the card’ or something to that affect.

I was thinking.... for real?!

I get that they need to be very careful when selling alcohol....

I get that a 15 year old can look 18....

I get that an 18 year old could be potentially buying it for younger friends....

I get that they could be disciplined if they were willingly selling alcohol to under 18’s....

But for goodness sake, surely common sense would say she really didn’t need to say that under the circumstances.

After all, the reason the sale of alcohol is forbidden to under 18’s is incase they drink it and quite right.

That’s not the same as the this situation. It was clearly evident I was the one ‘buying it’ and giving my consent. Does she honestly think I was planning on giving it to my 7 year old?! 🙄

OP posts:
SaskiaRembrandt · 20/02/2020 15:39

Do you honestly think someone would have the time or money to take the lady to court?.

Yes, they do. The licensing authority/police send mystery shoppers round to catch people who do flout the law, and the penalties are pretty serious. The shop assistant obviously didn't want to lose her job and risk a big fine - who would?

It might seem like overkill in this instance, but to the people who will be in trouble if you had turned out to be part of a sting operation it's a case of complying so they can keep their jobs/not get a fine and a criminal record.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 20/02/2020 15:39

The guy in the corner shop wouldn't give d's who's 7 my change last week because I'd bought filter tips. Theh just arn't allowed

sunglasses123 · 20/02/2020 15:39

I think we have to leave this OP to her moaning and entitlement. She is one of THOSE customers who thinks the laws are for others. There are just too many of these people around nowadays. Probably too much time on their hands and always looking for them to be the exception to any rules that are in place.

Sorry, but my son will not be losing his job for the likes of these people.

Louise91417 · 20/02/2020 15:39

It isnt ludricrous when you think of the bigger picture...laws are there for a reason, to protect the vulnerable and be responsible. Any place that sells alcohol/tobacco and betting shops/cadinos etc all having strict laws to enable them to keep their licences..these are checked regularly through mystery shoppers. How do you no that the member of staff did not challenge you to keep herself right incase you were a mystery shopper reporting back protocol was being adhered too..the consequences for breaking protocol is serious for employees and license holders..

maggiecate · 20/02/2020 15:40

Do you honestly think someone would have the time or money to take the lady to court?

That what councils employ licensing officers to do. And if one happened to be in the queue behind you that cashier would be noted as doing their job right and being on the ball. People - ordinary members of the public - do report things like this to licensing and trading standards. The absolute last thing a retailer wants is to be on licensing’s radar for test purchases, if she’d let the sale go through without challenging and it was noted you can bet there would be follow up.

TwentyViginti · 20/02/2020 15:41

Why do you think YOU are so different and they can make an exception for you? Do you want someone to lose their job because you want to use the supermarket as some sort of play area.

THIS^ x1000

diddl · 20/02/2020 15:41

Why do adults let their kids piss about tapping buttons & cards?

Just get on & pay!

DowntonCrabby · 20/02/2020 15:41

It’s the law.

There are no grey areas.

Quartz2208 · 20/02/2020 15:43

the circumstances are very obvious, by scanning the card she was paying for the shopping hence purchasing the alcohol.

The offence isnt for children under 18 drinking said alcohol (and indeed she could perfectly legally drink the baileys at your house as she is over 5). The offence is the BUYING/SERVING of alcohol under the age of 18.

So you are completely misunderstanding what the law is and she was indeed correct.

Sirzy · 20/02/2020 15:45

Why do adults let their kids piss about tapping buttons & cards?

I let 10 year old DS do things like that because because of his autism he needs a lot of help and practise to start to master life skills like shopping.

BUT we only do it when it’s very quiet and we aren’t holding anyone else up.

notangelinajolie · 20/02/2020 15:46

The assistant was right. You were buying alcohol and so you should have been the one who punched the buttons or whatever you needed to do to buy it. You could have simply explained to your daughter that she isn't allowed to buy it because she it too young before you got to the checkout and then you wouldn't have got into the awkward situation.

Next time you could purchase the alcohol separately and pay with 2 separate transactions?

Quartz2208 · 20/02/2020 15:47

*And that’s all very well saying the technically dd bought the alcohol, but for anything to go ‘wrong’, I would have to give her it to drink.

Do you honestly think someone would have the time or money to take the lady to court? Who would do that? Again, the only way would be if I gave dd the alcohol to drink.*

This is completely wrong. The offence is buying alcohol if you took it to your house and allowed her to drink it that actually weirdly isnt against the law

People will check and fines can now be unlimited. Think of it as a road traffic officer giving out parking fines. Its a similar process

Mamadothehump · 20/02/2020 15:47

I was buying some clothing in Debenhams. DH was standing next to me and gave me his card. I put it into the machine and was just about to put his PIN in when the shop assistant said that wasn't allowed. So he moved a foot closer to put it in himself. Now, that's bonkers!!!

HotDogGuy · 20/02/2020 15:56

Given your logic if she’s only 8 it’s obvious she was helping me out / what age does that change? 9,12,15? The law is the law it has to apply across the board or not at all.
So YABU.
You’ve also been told many times why she had to say something yet you continue to argue your case. So YABU for that as well.

steppemum · 20/02/2020 15:57

OP - AIBU
whole thread - yes you are BU, the woman could have lost her job.
OP - I am NOT BU.

get off your high horse OP and accept that you were in the wrong and put the shop assistant in an awkward position

gingersausage · 20/02/2020 16:01

You seem determined to think that the law should be changed specifically for your little snowflake, but it’s hardly going to happen is it?! Do you actually know how much the fine is for the staff member responsible for unauthorised alcohol sales? Up to £5000. For the checkout person, not the supermarket. The supermarket wouldn’t give a shit about their employee in this situation. They wouldn’t pay it. I bet you wouldn’t be volunteering to pay it either!

izzywizzygood · 20/02/2020 16:02

You are being very unreasonable. This lady was right - it's her job to ensure alcohol is not sold to underage people, and I would say she was highly observant to notice here. You were in effect putting her job and risk, and that is very inconsiderate.

Franklydear · 20/02/2020 16:03

@Potkettlexx a few years ago I was a cashier in a big supermarket, wanted to buy a bottle of wine, but forgot my id, I don’t drive, easily done, my own shop couldn’t sell me as under 25, the law is the law, even if it stupid.

Littlemeadow123 · 20/02/2020 16:05

The checkout woman didn't make up the rules but she has to stick to them if she wants to keep her job.

coconuttelegraph · 20/02/2020 16:05

This thread comes up every other week.

There is literally nothing new to be said, the law is clear, some shops are more zealous than applying it than others are. That's it.

It is what it is, I don't get why people get in a tizzy about it, does it really matter?

Graphista · 20/02/2020 16:08

It doesn’t even need to get to court.

The employee can:

Lose their job - and be prevented from working in retail with alcohol again for I think 5 years?

The store can have their licence to sell alcohol revoked

The employee AND the store AND the store manager present at the time can be fined HUGE amounts - £10,000’s

It really is not worth the risk for them.

I have a mum who’s job it was to monitor and deal with such incidents. Also several friends/family working in retail a few who’ve at times been stung by these laws and regulations and ended up fined or disciplined.

“Licensing teams give fines out like sweets.”Yep! It’s instant. No police, courts etc need be involved.

And I don’t think it’s been mentioned but I don’t think the bank would be too impressed with you letting her play with your card either - that goes against the t&c’s you have with them.

Arthritica · 20/02/2020 16:09

YABVU to expect a shop assistant to break the law and risk her job because your child likes playing shops.

lastqueenofscotland · 20/02/2020 16:09

Checkout staff get fined £5k for infringements. For someone likely on a zero hours minimum wage contract that could financially ruin someone.

YABU.

Nowayorhighway · 20/02/2020 16:09

Grin the thought of a seven year old taking their parent’s card to buy Baileys is actually quite funny. Sometimes common sense sadly doesn’t prevail.

ACautionaryTale · 20/02/2020 16:12

No one has ever satisfactorily excused away why I can give my bottle of wine to my child in my house.

But if you think I'm buying it to give it to her, you're not allowed to sell it to me.