To ask were you smacked by your parents as a child, and do you forgive them now?

[blubberball]

I was smacked by my parents as a child. Sometimes they would completely lose their shit and smack me over and over, whilst shouting at me. Each syllable would be a smack. I remember wanting my dm to stop talking, so that she would stop hitting me. I remember being in the street and my dm taking a swing at my arse, and I managed to move to dodge it.

I guess it stopped at the "appropriate" age. 10 or something.

I have never smacked my dc, and would use time outs to discipline them. My parents moved with the times and followed my lead. I forgive them, and they are very loving and supportive now. It's strange to think that happened now.

I had a very odd smack - yours I wouldn’t be able to forgive but mine I don’t even think of. It was normal discipline, not uncontrolled rage.

Your experience sounds borderline abusive.

I once slapped my toddler really really hard, I don’t remember why, but I remember the feeling of absolute despair that precipitated it and the guilt and nausea afterwards. He cried so much. I lost control that day and I won’t ever do that again and I genuinely haven’t.

I have a mixed view on this as well.
My dad used to really hit us. He was always tired from night shift. He would grab us by the arms and fling us about. He kicked me down the stairs once. He was so angry. He has calmed down as he got older. My mum used to slap me across the face until I once threatened to do it back as usually it was nothing to do with us, but my parents always seemed to resent us. I can’t have my own kids but I have two year old nephew and it literally breaks my heart to think anyone could hit him he’s so small, yet I remember my dad hitting my brother at that age. My dad was hit with a belt by his dad so I think he thought it was normal.

Unfortunately it was a common form of "discipline" whilst I was growing up, I didn't get smacked a lot thankfully my parents disciplined me in a better way most of the time. They do regret the smacks they did give and understand now that it wasn't right. I wouldn't say I was abused, they were very loving so I don't hold anything against them but I'm very anti smacking now as a parent and see it as a poor form of punishment, much better ways to teach a child right from wrong. If you smack you have lost control in my eyes and I hope it is banned in England soon like it is in Wales and Scotland.

I was smacked and don’t mind a bit.

Though the mental abuse my mother has since thrown at Me means we’re nc

I was smacked on the bottom for being naughty on occasion. However, I was also slapped across the face by DM when I was 10-12. I see those two as being different things.

No I dont forgive. My mum beat shit out of me when half the time it was another sibling that did whatever she was angry about but because I was oldest it was my fault.
Also stepdad hurt me pretty bad one day throwing me up the stairs so I told my school teacher and showed them the bruises....was manipulated into telling teacher the next day I made it up. Felt humiliated. I find it all hard to drop tho I really try to forget it

I was smacked quite badly by both parents, a few occasions having my head banged against the wall. I forgive as it was accepted then but I won't leave my children in my parents care.

My mum used to smack me around the head, and as a child sufferer of migraines I felt that was unnecessary. But I know she suffered from severe PMT (very severe) and mental health issues. So I don’t hold anything against her, most of the time I probably deserved it. So no, it’s not something I think ‘I can’t forgive them’ but mine was just smacking for discipline and not abuse. The latter is different of course.

I smacked my eldest (who is 27) a little, but I don’t smack my youngest two (15 and 12) as I always felt so bad after like it was me who had lost control and needed disciplining! And they are better behaved than my eldest (and me) ever was, so there’s plenty of other ways of discipline which I think are better. I think soon smacking children will be a thing of the past where the next generation will be shocked to know it was legal

I was occasionally smacked and my god I deserved it when it happened. Ample warnings put in place. And one hard smack as I was running out the room to my bedroom as I knew I'd pushed it way to far. Prob about 3 times in teen years

I don't forgive mine and I think smacking is vile. Never smacked my own dcs. Nor would I smack anybody else in my life

Yep. And I had respect for them, not fear! I would give my little one a little tap if I need to. Never had to yet but I sure will. Not as hard as my dad did with the slipper tho haha

Every syllable a smack,,,, oh my god I totally forgot about that! My Dad did that too! Are you my sister hahaha

One parent smacked and one didnt. The one who did is absolutely forgiven and was purely parenting . The one who didnt has let me down in infinitely worse ways

I was smacked rarely, I only remember a few times (the time me and my sister wiped dog poo on another child for instance, we were about 7).
I have nothing to forgive, I deserved that skelped backside.

No I wasn't smacked, my parents weren't abusive. I would never think it's remotely acceptable to smack my children, much the same way it wouldn't be appropriate for me to smack an adult I disagreed with

Being dragged along the floor by my hair and beaten with a wooden spoon by my mother - I was 16. Another time she decided she was going to cut my hair herself (which I didn't want) and every time I cried she boxed my ears. So no, I don't forgive. Lived in fear of her.

I was smacked, not very often.
I think it was appropriate at the time (early 80s) and don't feel I need to forgive my parents.

I have young children and wouldn't ever do do, but in certain scenarios don't think it is an unacceptable thing to do.

Nothing to forgive.

I was one of five kids and we could be handful sometimes. Both parents worked - my mum was a ward sister back in the day worked long hours and night shifts. We didn't have a car so she walked to and from the hospital and carried bags of shopping back with her as well as cooking for a family of seven, keeping the house spic and span and doing all the washing in an old twin tub. Beds were changed every week. We didn't even have central heating just coal fires in the downstairs rooms and nothing upstairs. My dad was a demolition worker and would come home exhausted.

If we got out of line we would occasionally get a smack on the hand or arse from mum or a clip round the ear from dad. But it kept us in line.

Likewise we would get smacked at school. I once had my sock pulled down and my leg smacked for playing the fool in the dinner queue. It didn't hurt but it did the trick. I never played up again.

It was part and parcel of our lives back then and we never gave it a second thought.

I just smacked my son , he almost pushed
Me down the stairs and I lashed out (after hours of him losing his shit because he can’t have fortnite) so shoot me

I wish I hadn’t though

I was smacked but back when it was more normal so I hadn't really thought about forgiveness. I suppose if I think about it I'd forgive my father as he admits it, he did it rarely and I knew what I'd done. My mother otoh has consistently tried to gaslight me and claim she barely ever did so - she did, multiple times a week sometimes with an implement - so possibly not. I really wasn't that bad a child. Sometimes I knew I'd done something, sometimes it was because I'd retaliated back at my golden sister but often it was because I'd broken some rule that never existed before.

Just for context there, my father worked away a lot so it wasn't as if he was just watching and allowing all this to go on silently. I've only recently realised thanks to threads like these that smacking happened a lot less often when he was at home - whether that's because she always knew she shouldn't or because him being there took some pressure off I don't know, and will probably never find out.

I was practically beaten for nothing so no its revolting behaviour, as much as my DS can wind me up, I could never imagine hitting or wanting to hit him, I tell him off and shout be he would be devastated at his mum smacking him.

Yes only by mum, though. My dad never smacked me. My mum had a rule that her hand was big enough. Any smacking she’d do it. I’ve never really thought of it being something to forgive to be honest. It was just The way discipline was in those days.You misbehaved you just got a good hiding. Saying that though there’s smacking and smacking.

I have a very close relationship with them but it's not totally healthy.

I was denied food when naughty as a child. But my parent was unwell mentally so can't be fully responsible in my eyes.

I was walloped. Wooden spoons, the lot. Sometimes my aunt would turn around in the car and wallop the closest child even if they hadn’t done anything wrong. The threat of the wooden spoon was enough to cull any bad behaviour. It’s never occurred to me to forgive or not forgive my parents. It was just the way it was back then, fairly normal.