To ask were you smacked by your parents as a child, and do you forgive them now?

[blubberball]

I was smacked by my parents as a child. Sometimes they would completely lose their shit and smack me over and over, whilst shouting at me. Each syllable would be a smack. I remember wanting my dm to stop talking, so that she would stop hitting me. I remember being in the street and my dm taking a swing at my arse, and I managed to move to dodge it.

I guess it stopped at the "appropriate" age. 10 or something.

I have never smacked my dc, and would use time outs to discipline them. My parents moved with the times and followed my lead. I forgive them, and they are very loving and supportive now. It's strange to think that happened now.

They told me they smacked me when I was a crawling baby and couldn't understand being told things like "don't chew the cable/stick your fingers in the plug socket".

Jesus christ. That's lazy and abusive parenting even if you don't see it. A baby doesn't know what it's doing. If you don't want them to chew a cable, remove the fucking cable, don't smack a baby!

I was smacked a couple of times when I didn't deserve it and yes I still remember those occasions and one was when I was 3! To be honest though the thing I really do remember wasn't being smacked. It was stopping me going ice skating one afternoon because I'd done something to annoy my father when we were out shopping was something which had a lasting effect because somehow I never got the opportunity again and it's not something you can do if you didn't learn as a child/teen. So I can't skate. A smack would have been over and done with.

I was smacked and hit a lot. My mother scapegoated me and i suffered a lot. Had she been a generally good parent i may have forgiven her but as it is I don't, no. I've never smacked my 12 and 15 year old and they are well behaved. (School agrees)

@MrsToothyBitch

It only stopped as a teenager when I slapped my mother back- across the face and told her she didn't get to do that anymore.

Exactly the same for me. The only time in my life I've ever hit anyone. I scared myself.

I look at my daughter and find it impossible to comprehend inflicting pain on her, I feel such incredible guilty if I ever hurt her accidently (she is a stealth toddler sneaking up behind me and getting knocked over).

Seeing people say 'yes I was smacked but I deserved it!' is shocking to me. How can a child deserve to be physically abused?

Appreciate it was the norm 50 years ago but I'm so surprised people today still think it's ok to smack a child. I get not feeling your parents need forgiving as they were just products of society and people maybe didn't know better in terms of the implications of hitting children back then, but to do it not is abhorrent.

If you can't guide and discipline your children without resorting to punishment and physical abuse, I think you don't deserve to be a parent.

Yes i began to hit my mum back at 14 and it stopped it. No regrets other than i should have started hitting back earlier!

I was smacked as a child by my mother. I don't think it's something I should forgive; it's vile and abhorrent to use violence towards a child. It's one of the reasons I dislike my mother now.

There's a difference between smacking alone and smacking with the emotionally abusive comments that I've read above.
I wasn't bothered about being smacked as I was always up to no good, my sister used to behave if told not to do anything. I wouldn't need to forgive my parents as they have done nothing wrong.

I wrongly assumed this thread was posted because Martin Freeman recently said he smacked his children. Have read a fair bit of it and noted so many PPs referring to smacking being in the past.

There was a poll on Good Morning Britain a few days asking 'Is it okay to smack your Children' . 65% said yes. On a similar poll on the same programme in 2017 54% were in favour.

Never understand why people excuse their own self indulgent behavior when they assault their children?
My 2 brothers and I were smacked as part of the numerous daily beatings inflicted on us by our mum, it was more than discipline, it was sadistic abuse. The beatings would last all day, until dad came home.
She was wrong to assault us. There is no excuse for her actions. How can beating a child be ok?
I am 43 now and still dealing with the fallout. Neither my brothers, or I have any self esteem, confidence, or any self worth, we all suffer with anxiety and depression.
We always just got on with it, but recently after the birth of my daughter, things became very difficult. Would I be my mam and hit my child? Would I think it was acceptable to assault my child?
Everything became impossible when the girlfriend was diagnosed with PND, she turned into my abusive mum overnight. It destroyed what was left of my mental health. I found myself dealing with the exact same feelings as when I was a kid, terrified all the time, actually scared for my life, just wanting everything to end. From dawn to dusk she would rant, scream and shout abuse at me and the baby. Despite the PND there was no excuse for her behavior either. It was domestic abuse and domestic violence (It wasn't any easier because I am a man, and no I didn't report her). It was a nightmare.
We never in any way stopped or limited contact with my mum, but since DD was born, I am actually scared of my mum hitting dd. She openly braggs to anyone who will listen about how hard we made her life by forcing her to beat us.
She will sit and bragg in front of my GF and my child about the beatings.
So NO! Smacking children is awful, should never be done, when you smack its because you've lost control of yourself, and taking it out on your children.

I was smacked a couple of times as a symbolic gesture not in anger or with force. My mum was absolutely wonderful and there's nothing to forgive.

I never smacked my children. And I'm a great Mum too.

Nothing to forgive in my eyes. As other posters it was very rare and when i had ample warning and was very naughty things.

Yes but not often. Personally I don't feel it's something that needs forgiveness, I don't think they did anything wrong.

I think I was given a smack on the bum on occasion when I was being a brat. It didn’t do me any harm.

I was smacked as a child , usually there had been many warnings like "If you continue you will get a smack" so I never felt like it was abusive.It was the norm for continued misbehaviour at the time.

My DF was a gentle soul and he couldn't even tell my sister and I off, let alone smack us. DM handed out the discipline, usually sending us to our rooms and occasionally we would get a slap on the back of our legs to hurry us up the stairs.

What was worse, IMO were the few times she threatened to leave home and my sister and I would huddle at the front door, sobbing our hearts out and attempting to stop her to leave. Looking back I don't believe she had any intention of leaving, it was her last resort when we behaved really badly but it was far worse than a slap on the legs.

Yes and yes but as this thread shows it depends on the situation. A parent taking out their frustration is completely different than a say a smack for drawing all over the walls

I was smacked a total of maybe 5 or 6 times, always by my mum, never my dad. Then I would cry and after a while my mum would come and apologise and ask me if I forgave her (not in English language, so this is more akin to saying "I am sorry" but it does require an answer). I always said I did forgive her, but only because I was scared.

As an adult I can understand why she did it, I am not very zen and I do get strong urges to smack my children sometimes, but my inner child will never, ever forgive those particular instances, even though I am close to my mum and we have a very good relationship.

A parent taking out their frustration is completely different than a say a smack for drawing all over the walls

No it isn't.

No but mine wasn’t a smack it was beaten around the head by both parents. I look at my children now of similar ages and I’d kill anyone who put a hand on them

I was hit as a child, by parents with a wooden spoon or slapped and unschool with a ruler by teachers. I see it as common back then, it at least it was where we were so don’t feel the need to ‘forgive’ them.
It worked, I have to say. I never did the same thing twice if I was smacked the first time.
I don’t hit my children, different time, different culture.

Haven’t read all of the thread, but yes I was, and no I don’t forgive her. It was in temper, painful and uncontrollable. I have visions of my sister cowering in the corner while my mum rains smacks all of her. I remember being winded by her once.

If it wasn’t that, it was the put downs and the threats. We get on ok now, but since having my own children, it does bring it all back. She also likes to criticise my parenting. I will absolutely bring up the fact she hit us when this happens. She says is was a sign of the times and everyone did it ( in the 80’s early 90’s ). No apology- not that I expect one.

A handful of times. And yes I forgive them.

I remember being smacked twice through my childhood , as a last resort . I think I was disciplined very fairly so say how horrible I was at times.
I actually am not against it as a very last resort as long as the reasons why are clearly spoken about , explained and resolved
I think shouting etc can be much more damaging

I assume I was smacked as a child , occasionally. I have no memory of this but it was accepted discipline at the time (60s/70's). I doubt that it would have been as OP described though. I can remember being given the threat of a smack if I did something wrong. Would not have considered forgiveness necessary, it was just the done thing at the time.