To ask were you smacked by your parents as a child, and do you forgive them now?

[blubberball]

I was smacked by my parents as a child. Sometimes they would completely lose their shit and smack me over and over, whilst shouting at me. Each syllable would be a smack. I remember wanting my dm to stop talking, so that she would stop hitting me. I remember being in the street and my dm taking a swing at my arse, and I managed to move to dodge it.

I guess it stopped at the "appropriate" age. 10 or something.

I have never smacked my dc, and would use time outs to discipline them. My parents moved with the times and followed my lead. I forgive them, and they are very loving and supportive now. It's strange to think that happened now.

Yes, occasionally, but it was the norm at the time.

We did generally behave/do as we were told, because we knew that if we didn’t.... which was why smacks were relatively rare.

My father in particular, although a generally very jolly type, had a natural authority, so it just didn’t occur to us (or not often!). to disobey

However there would have been an instant smack if we’d ever said No!’ when asked or told to do something, or been in the least rude to a parent.
Now it seems quite common, and just something parents are supposed to put up with.

It is pretty harrowing reading on here. To anyone who was labelled 'bad' or 'evil' alongside the humiliation of smacking, I hope you have been able to heal from that. And there is no hand wringing here. That is utterly insulting.

Yes I was.
And yes, no issues with it. My behaviour was pretty awful at times.

Nothing to forgive with my parents I feel, though I wouldn’t forgive them if they smacked DS now. I was always warned at it was the last resort.

I struggle with my uncle though- he hit me round the back of the head when I was kneeling down once, for a very minor misdemeanour with no warning. I nearly head butted the floor as it was done with such force. I don’t like him and I wouldn’t trust him alone with my child for any time at all.

I was hit frequently, sometimes badly enough to leave bruising. Overall, there were good and bad elements to the way I was brought up (as I imagine is the case for everyone).

I haven't really forgiven them, but I've reached a place where I've drawn a line under it. I do acknowledge that corporal punishment was seen as normal and allowed in schools (although I was never hit at school) and that would have influenced the way my parents disciplined.

Yes and No.

I couldn’t put a foot wrong

Even if I thought I had done well in a situation if it wasn’t up to my mothers impossible standards then screaming in my face and s smack would follow.

I was smacked because I didn’t know how to tap dance.
I had never had a dance lesson but a girl in my class had so I should have learned off her

also doesnt make sense a lot of posters who agreed with it and justify it with 'I was a little shit I deserved it' but in the next breath 'kids these days could do with it, kids are badly behaved nowdays' but you've just said the reason smacking happened was because you were naughty so clearly being naughty is at times part and parcel of being a child and physical punishment clearly doesnt work if, in your own words, you were 'a little shit'

Sorry haven't rtft

Op..what you described in your opening post is abusive.

I was smacked occasionally...when I was very badly behaved. I'm totally unharmed and not affected by it.

Yes i was smacked a nd i hate my mum e ven now as whehn she smacked me she would scream at me too. I can always remember the time when she smacked me just because i would not go to bed. The next morning she screamed that she was going to totally ignore me for the rest of the day and that if i misbehaved again she would walk out on me.

Yes, I was. I've forgiven because I know my mum was beaten as a child and didn't know any better. But my childhood was miserable and I still feel the effects of that today.

I have never laid a single hand on my own child and he's perfectly well behaved.

I was - only once I think, because the prospect of a smack was enough to make me behave!

I’m glad my parents were wise enough to discipline me. They were very loving. Nothing to forgive.

I was smacked. My dad was a bit quick to go straight to smacking instead of a telling off but no I don't really think there's anything to forgive. I was scared of being naughty because the consequences sucked. My mum didn't smack and only shouted or used other forms of discipline. I didn't exactly laugh in her face but she couldn't wipe the smirk off my face or stop an eye roll at her.

I was smacked when I'd been REALLY naughty. Only ever a handful of times and I was bloody terrified of it so just the threat would be enough most of the time.
Nothing to forgive imo, I don't have any particular feelings about it and my DSIS and I both laugh about the ones that have stuck in our heads.

I haven't forgiven my dad for the last time he smacked me - I was fifteen, refusing to obey him in a bodily autonomy issue, and he lost his rag. My big sister went ballistic at him when she found out.

As for it being normal discipline back then and so nothing to forgive - my siblings would agree with that, and it's how my dad defends himself. But then I think of when I was seventeen and they found out about the serious sexual abuse I suffered as a very small child, and my dad asking why I never told anyone - because I was bloody terrified of him!

I was in the 80’s and no I don’t hold it against them so nothing to forgive .

I was smacked and I haven't forgiven them because they've never shown any remorse.

They probably justified it as discipline because they only smacked "for a reason".
I was hit when I did something "naughty" which most of the time wasn't naughty at all, just inconvenient to them and they couldn't be bothered to parent properly and listen to me or help me deal with whatever was annoying me, so they took the easy way out and hit me into submission.

It led to me fearing asking for help, and having some anxiety in situations involving figures of authority.

There is a fine line between discipline and abuse.

And i think that sums it all up very well. Yep was smacked here but not beaten, no strop, the headmaster had a cane!, but no emotive abuse it was just for discpline reasons.

You ask did this happen when you were a teenager and some of it did but the odd thing was it came to a point that you realised that if you behaved, then nothimng would be inflicted on you.

Gosh!, even police brutataly existed in those days, even the coppers were out to get you! Occasionaly had a clip aroud the ear from the local bobby who we did have a lot of respect and time for. He once arrested two people who tried to rob the village shop and did that single handed!

The way I've written it above sounds like really bad abuse. I don't think it was at the time. It was probably normal smacking as a form of discipline. But that's still abuse, really, and I don't agree with it at all. It's shit parenting. Listen to your kids, empathise with them, don't bloody hit them just because they're being kids!

We only got smacked occasionally and if we were it was usually deserved. Absolutely nothing to forgive

I was smacked rarely by my mum and frequently smacked by grandparents (and I mean smacked on the bum or legs, not beaten). The smacking didn't and doesn't bother me. The put downs and emotional abuse from my mum has scarred me for life in many ways. I adored my grandparents.

Yes I was smacked by my parents and grandparents. Nothing to forgive imo. It was the social norm then and I had a loving and secure childhood with my family. As I've grown up my grandparents have supported me in many ways and thoroughly decent people. I would never dream of holding it against them.

I don't smack my children because it don't believe it's effective but I certainly don't believe I suffered as a result of smacking.

I was hit as a child, and I do forgive my parents because it was considered acceptable then. I get mildly annoyed by the word 'smacking' as I think it seeks to minimise what it describes, which is hitting a child. I could never hit a child, and I struggle to understand how my parents could have done it.

I was smacked as a child and I do not forgive them. Smacking is lazy and aggressive parenting and that is them in a nutshell.

Would get a smack off mum for being naughty or not shutting up if I wasn't close enough she'd hurl her slipper at me.
It just makes me laugh thinking back to it. No need to forgive

My dad didnt but my mum was evil and seemed to enjoy kicking the shit out of us (never when dad was around). No i dont forgive her, shes a fucking bitch and acts like butter wouldnt melt around grandkids.