To not know how anyone can believe in God or not hate him if they do?

[JustWearThePants]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I've a relative who's very religious and brings God into every conversation and situation.

I grew up going to church with my parents and always just took the 'who knows' approach afterwards.

I've been through an incredibly traumatic experience lately, where something happened and keeps happening to me which has left me broken, a shell of who I was, depressed and anxious, and just wanting to die so many times.

Yet this relative always wants to bring God into my situation. Tell me how he'll help, if I pray, if I 'give it to him' it will help me etc... I want to shout and shake them and tell them to wake up.

It's left me honestly baffled how anyone can either believe at all or, if they do, why they don't see him as a horrid bully who enjoys watching people suffer. All you have to do is watch the news to see what goes on in the world.

Before this happened I was okay just letting my relative and whoever believe whatever they believe but now I want to scream at anyone who brings it up. How could you possibly feel loved by someone who allows these things to happen to you?

I'm so angry at someone telling me the man in the sky will make everything better yet whenever I ask why he's let it happen in the first place they have no answer. It's all 'his plan' or some other crap. And how when I start to feel better it's because of God giving me strength when actually it's me, I've put in the effort, I've gone through the shit.

I don't want to see this person anymore but I can't as they are a close family member and I know no one else in the family would understand.

OP I’m confused- you said you don’t believe in God and don’t like it when your relative talks to you about God and it makes you angry. But then you say you don’t get why God doesn’t help you. Is it that you want to believe but feel you can’t or do you feel you “hate” God?

I remember being at a family funeral years ago. My cousin's 20 month old baby had died, after a roller-coaster of illnesses since birth. The vicar said "Oh look, God's made the sun come out for the funeral"

I just wanted to say "Oh fuck off! Where was he when we needed him before?!"

Reginabambina

See I find your description of God much easier to handle. The feeling that human suffering is unimportant because it seems that he must (if he's real) feel that way to me.

It's as you say the 'he shall deliver you' stuff I can't stand. If I pray everything will be fine, he loves us all so much, wants the best for 'his children'.

My relative would never ever believe in a million years that human suffering was unimportant to God. But I don't see how you can believe otherwise when you see some of the things that go on.

I don't believe in God and I think it's disrespectful to impose beliefs onto people who don't share them.

But God if he exists, isn't responsible for bad things which happen. I don't know why the common view is that he does. It was never said that awful things wouldn't befall people. I also don't understand the logic of not believing in him, yet also being angry with him.

But God if he exists, isn't responsible for bad things which happen. I don't know why the common view is that he does. It was never said that awful things wouldn't befall people. I also don't understand the logic of not believing in him, yet also being angry with him

Yes. I believe and I would agree with all of this too. You can’t be angry at God if you don’t believe he exists

That's the thing too russelbrandshair. A lot of ppl suddenly ask god for help when they are struggling as if he is some sort of fairy godmother yet he was never a part of their life before. It's like me calling up an acquaintance fro. High school and going "hey, my lifestyle shit, wannabe come by and help me fix it?". And then butching at them when they say "No, ta. You're on your own with that".

All that deliverance stuff is for the next life, though isn't it? When we're back with Jesus living eternally, from what I remember.

*bitching

Russell, I think I've turned to God in the past out of pure desperation. I said in my OP that I have always taken the 'who knows' approach to God as I was brought up in a religious family. Not committing to either believing or not believing. I live my life as someone who doesn't believe probably would but I've never been able to outright say there's no way he can possibly exist (at least not in the sense that my relative and others like her believe) until now. In fact I've never given it any huge amount of thought until now.

I guess I'm more angry at the fact that my relative wants me to believe or even thinks that it's possible for me to when all this has gone on. How they can't wait to tell me constantly how it will help me.

Yes I've prayed in the past. I don't anymore because the things I've been through and seen since then I just don't believe he's real or that there would be any point even if he were.

then I think of the man in the Bible who lost everything and chose to say “blessed be the name of the Lord”

The Book of Job really really freaks me out. It's the most power crazed teacher setting the most hideous cosmic A level ever. God deliberately laid waste to Job's entire life including causing the deaths of his loved ones- not letting them die when they would have died anyway but actually deliberately annihilating them- just to show off to the devil that his star pupil was going to get an A* in How Much Do You Love Me?

But why are people blaming God for everything that goes wrong, why are you not blaming the Devil?

We all have free will to believe or not and until the end of time Satan has control of the world. Then God will return on earth.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say life will be easy, on the contrary.

Firstly, I’m so sorry to read what has happened to you.

For me to have faith in “God” brings a dimension to my life that is comforting to me. I do not believe in a man in the sky, but an energy of sorts, living within and around us. That not everything can be explained by humans.

Your family member sounds really insensitive and missing what really matters here. Not god, but you. I hope things improve for you. X

OP, don't mind the scientists or wannabes on here.

You have (whether you like it or not) a belief in God. I don't see God as a human, I see it as a thing? A thing beyond my comprehension?

I call it/Him/whatever it is God.

I do believe in something. Not sure what it is, but in the absence of anything better to call it, I call it God.

I want to hold you and let you fight and scream and rage.

What you're going through is impossible and horrible. But I can safely tell you that I have walked through hell too.

I don't know how to console you. Just get your husband and thump him and cry. And sleep. And then we get up tomorrow.

I wish I had words to console you.

Yeah don't thump your DH...

When I get fed this nonsense I like go off and listen to the Tim Minchin song Thank You God, which talks about whether a god who is happy to fix the curable ailments of white wealthy westerners, while giving innocent African babies malaria, is someone you’d really want to worship. Amongst other things.

He makes a very good point, IMO.

Is it that you want to believe but feel you can’t or do you feel you “hate” God?

I guess I feel like I cant believe as I've not experienced any proof that he is. I think I believe in something, but as other PPs have said, not the God my relative believes in, or those of other organised religions. I find it hard to understand how people can believe in those God's as the reality of the world just seems so far away from what they say.

I'm so sorry you've had such an awful time OP.

FWIW I feel exactly the same as you

My mums neighbour was a vicar and once explained to me that God wasn't here to control or arrange our lives but to help us emotionally by existing so that we don't feel alone during the difficult times in our lives. I do think that he has a point. Family members that are religious do seem to find comfort in their religion at bad times so I think it does work (if you believe in God that is).

I think that your relative is trying to help in the way that works for them. It is meant well. I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult time. I had therapy and EMDR when I went through a traumatic event that left me suicidal. It took some time but did really help me. Maybe you can see if it's available for you?

Apparently, God is beyond our imaginations. So he gave his Son so that we would believe/comprehend (can't remember which - but it was God the loving father).

Most of us (I) don't believe in God as a person. But I can feel a God-like 'thing' sometimes.

Life is cruel. And I have no answers for you.

I guess I feel like I cant believe as I've not experienced any proof that he is.

And people telling you ' but you've got to have faith' (thus making it your fault) really don't help, do they?

Errol, not in the slightest.

But did you ever believe truly? Or do you think it was just lip service because you grew up with it?

I practically never pray. But this year on Christmas, (which I didn't really celebrate this year) the first thing I did was go 'happy birthday jesus! Have a good one!' Lol. Sometimes something'll happen and I'll be like 'did you see that up there?'. I "touch base" on occasion you know. Just for the sake of saying hello.

I dont know if he's ever fixed anything for me... I figure that's what my head and my own two hands are for really. Though I do remember praying once that a toxic relative wouldn't come visit as planned the next day because I really, really wasnt feeling strong enough to deal ...and the next day they called to say they had explosive diahorea. I was like "Bit harsh dude! But thanks so much though!" Lol.

I dunno, I get mad at him sometimes. But then i always wind up feeling like a stroppy child when i think on it :/

Pink, okay. So what do you believe? That if I'd just checked in with God a bit more he'd might have helped me?

I've never had any proof that he's real. And during the time I needed it the most, there was still nothing. So maybe you think that's hypocritical and I can understand that but, I've just never been given a reason to believe otherwise.

That situation to me sounds a lot like what the Tim Minchin song mentioned above is referring to. So you can believe that God gave your relative diarrhea so they wouldn't visit but he doesn't have time to help other more pressing matters, starving, diseased children etc...? I'm sure there's plenty of religious people who suffer and go unanswered, it's not just people who don't pray enough but that one time he decided to answer and give your relative the shits?