To be terrified by the Australian rugby coach setting his family on fire?

[SeasonallySnowyPeasant]

In brief: earlier today an Australian ex-rugby player was in the car with his wife and their three children, poured petrol over her and set her alight. She, he and the children all died. The parents were ending their marriage and disputing custody over the children.

It’s absolutely horrific and I just wonder why there seem to be no depths to which some men - and it almost always is men - will sink when it comes to asserting their dominance over women and children. Throwing acid over them seems to be the newest ‘thing’ over the past 3 years. Assault, rape, stalking, harassment, murder are so common as to be un-newsworthy.

It scares me. My exH was abusive and I have a non-molestation order to prevent him from continuing the abuse. At the back of my mind I worry about him taking something I do/say as pushing him too far and being seriously hurt or killed. What if he decides one day to kill our DC?

Why won’t men sort their lives out and put an end to this horrific violence?

There's no reason for people to excuse male violence and work hard to obscure it unless they think their opinion is more important than the lives that have been lost; or unless they think male feelings are more important than the lives of women and children.

This hits the nail on the head. To be so heavily invested in obscuring the reality that violence is predominantly committed by males is to be invested in ensuring that such violence continues.

If women committed the majority of heinous, violent that men do there would be strictor laws put in place with longer sentences and no room for first offences/good job/nice to their mum. Womens groups would be called upon to sort it out and vilified for not doing so.

Men however are the majority perpetrators yet all we get are not all men/he was a nice chap/must have been driven to it by the woman...

Its bullshit.

For every good man in my life there have been 2 bad ones.
I know as a woman who my enemy is.

Statistically it’s 50/50 mothers and fathers murdering their children.
It varies by region, but the global average is 50/50. So you are fucking delusional to say it’s 80% fathers killing their children.

Data from 33 countries distinguishing the perpetrators of parental homicides of children under the age of 18 years showed that mothers committed just over half of all parental homicides (median 54.7%, IQR 36.7–68.8); in high-income countries, the median percentage was 44.4% (IQR 36.7–66.7), in the East Asia and Pacific region, 64.6% (IQR 59.0–69.3), in the Americas, 15.4% (IQR 13.3–17.4), in Africa, 88.6% (IQR 71.1–100.0), in low-income and middle-income Europe, 60.4% (IQR 45.8–75.0) and in the Mediterranean region, 7.4% (IQR 0.0–14.8). ”
bmjpaedsopen.bmj.com/content/1/1/e000112#DC1

Plan are at birth homicides included in those stats?
I only ask because we know sadly women do murder their newly born children for a number of reasons. If so then those stats are not what is being discussed here.
What we are talking about here is full family murder.
One parent killing children and the other parent. How often do women do that compared to men?

No, I do not think so, the statistics list neonates and infants under 1yr separately which are almost exclusively killed by mothers (because it’s usually mothers caring for them).
From what I can see, “children”were defined as aged over 1 and under 18. At least I think that’s what it says. English is not my first language. You are welcome to follow the link and look through the tables too :)

I don't believe those stats for a millisecond.

@SeasonallySnowyPeasant I am so sorry that you are triggered by these news stories but it's not surprising, it's an horrific thing he did. Did you ever get counselling or complete the freedom programme after you survived your DV relationship?

There was no link?

I think whole family murders by women so include dad are very rare.
I believe that is a very Male crime. The majority of violent murders are committed by males against females and males. When we look at it the common factor In murders it is males that commit them.
The stats do show that.

Clymene Sigh. I was proving another poster wrong who said that if you found cases where a woman had done what this man had done it would be blamed on mental health. I found those swiftly and in none of them is mental health used as an excuse. So previous poster was indeed spouting bollocks.

No, I do not think so, the statistics list neonates and infants under 1yr separately which are almost exclusively killed by mothers (because it’s usually mothers caring for them)

Does it include abortion and miscarriage? Because in some places that’s considered murder.

Plan the thread is about family annihilators. The most recent research from the US shows that 91% are male. Most are white male. In 70% there had been previous DV but this appeared in only 25% of the records.
NIJ on Family Annihilators

If you look at UK stats for child murders (including but not limited to family annihilations) then the majority of perpetrators were male.
University of Manchester study

Tragic OP but it's not always men. In the last month, in Dublin Ireland,a mother killed her three children. She was found on the street in a distressed state and has been charged

From the government website:

There were 671 victims of homicide in the year ending March 2019, 33 fewer (5%) than the previous year, the first fall since the year ending March 2015

Although there was a fall in the number of victims, this was partly due to the inclusion of several homicide incidents with multiple victims in the previous year; the number of separate homicide incidents increased from 644 to 662 (up 3%)

The fall in homicide was driven by a fall in male victims, decreasing from 484 to 429 (down 11%)

Homicides of young victims, aged 16 to 24 years, fell after a large peak the previous year, down from 148 to 113 (down 24%)

The number of female victims increased from 220 to 241 (up 10%); the second consecutive annual increase and the highest number since the year ending March 2006

Female victims (aged 16 years and over) were more likely to be killed by a partner / ex-partner (38%, 80 homicides), while male victims were more likely to be killed by a friend or acquittance (27%, 105 homicides)

So violence against women is getting worse, but never mind because women kill their partners too (or do they?!)

bean it is majority wise men.

Just that.
1 women doing it does not cancel out 5 men doing it.

The stats for killing of children are not 50/50 between men and women.

The killing of children in this kind of way is a male issue, a product of male entitlement and control.

It is not a question of mental illness. It is form of control linked to domestic violence. The necessary intent you have to kill your own family makes you a dangerous criminal. This is multiple murder.

It is my hope that the law will change that where men (or indeed anyone) who commits these kind of killings gets life in prison without parole. If you had killed several strangers then that would be the law that applied in principle.

And also this:

Infanticide is defined as the killing of a baby under 1-year-old by their mother while the balance of her mind was disturbed as a result of giving birth

Which means men can’t commit infanticide, it would just be counted as murder, which of course skews figures if looking at infanticide statistics.

So women get a "get out of jail free card" when it come to murdering their own children.

So women get a "get out of jail free card" when it come to murdering their own children.

Yeah men never get that...
Hood student/goes to a good school
Has his career ahead of him
Was a family man.
Looked after his mum
Volunteers at the local church/cubs/food bank
Comes from a good family
She drove him to it

The list is endless as to why men have got away with assault, rape and murder.

I don’t believe it is 50:50 in the U.K.,

Lavinia Woodward

Lavinia Woodward did not murder her child. Do keep up.

if a female friend or family member alleges abuse, they’re most likely to be telling the truth. ‘Not wanting to get involved/take sides’ contributes to an environment where abuse is socially acceptable. It is taking sides, on the side of the abuser.

Are you calling out all of the people that have been posting exactly this over the past few days then? Calling an alleged abuse victim a liar, blaming tragic events.on them calling the police, etc etc etc? Only I've not noticed women calling out other women who have been victim blaming all weekend.

Maybe more of us women should be practicing what we preach?

PityParty directly mentioned assult in her post.

I posted in response to that.

Do keep.up dear.

I find it quite a damning indictment of social media that a thread about a specific horrific family annihilation is becoming so bogged down in false stats, NAMALT, strawmen and whataboutery. I wonder if the undercover government taskforces on MRAs online have a presence here to monitor these contributions.

As has already been stated, in the first few posts an AMALT comment was made. The second that happens NAMALT comments occur. People then moan about NAMALT comments. If those comments aren't wanted then don't invite them - simples!

There is no get out of jail free card. Crime is sentenced on the based on seriousness.

The woman who kills her child has committed a lesser crime than the man who kills his family. That’s the discussion being had, simples.