Unreasonably irritated that only about 8 people call me by my correct name?

[Imnotcalledthat]

It’s unusual, granted but I didn’t choose it. Still, it isn’t hard to say.

A handful of friends and my sister are the only ones who say it correctly. Everyone else says a similarly spelled but very differently pronounced name.

Imagine if your name was Joan and everyone said Joanne ... it’s that sort of idea.

It doesn’t matter how many times you correct them.

Should I just give in and accept I’m a Joanne to most people?

It's easy to change your name - just tell people what you would like to be called.
Formal things like passports will need your registered name, but for everyday life you can just call yourself whatever you like.

This is why dd didn't get the name I wanted.
Dh is Dutch and I wanted to call her JoHanna, which is pronounced Yo-Hanna. Maybe use Hanna for nn.

But I knew that she would be Joanna but everyone in Uk who wouldn't be able to get their heads round it.

Interesatingly though, he sees certain names as being 'the same'
Joan, Joanne,
Jane, Jan
Emily, Emma, Amelie etc

He is genuinely puzzled (or used to be when we first met) when I said Joan and Joanne are NOT the same name.

I am not sure why, as Dutch doesn't use endings, but when we lived in Central Asia and spoke Russian, everyone's names chanegd ending according to their place in the sentence, so they really did see Joan, Joanne, as being the same name, the last letter/sound didn't really 'count' as it would change according to the ending you had to put on. Added to which all names are shortened and then endings added to show affection, so Katya from Kate etc.

It’s not though is it disquieted - do you honestly think it would be easy if you casually said at work tomorrow ‘by the way, I now want you to call me Charlotte’ (assuming you are not actually called Charlotte!)

Your name is part of your identity. That’s why it’s a PITA when people get it wrong!

Every parent who plans to give their child a made up name should read this thread .
I don't like my name, it's a very 1950s name like Susan but less common. No one has ever shortened it until my neighbour moved in and took it upon herself to call me (like) Evie instead of Evelyn. Then she told some new people across the road I was Evie, and their toddler shouts my wrong name when I walk past.

DD2 is an Eleanor. A name you'd think is well-known and in common usage. A hospital receptionist once very exaggeratedly couldn't find her name on the list when I tried to book her in and made me spell it out. And then said loudly "oh you mean Eh-LEE-OH-NOR"

No. No I don't .

Conversely DD1 had a good friend called Iara (starts with an i, not an L). No one seemed to struggle with that at all . But then I suppose at the time they were all 4 so couldn't read

How the F can a working class 18 year old form Kent be thought of badly for incorrectly pronouncing Dyddanwy or Gwylfai

At first, of course not! However, when someone has been told 10 times and still gets it wrong, it's bloody annoying and many English people seem unwilling or unable to pronounce foreign names (and I don't just mean Welsh ones).

Imnot pointless observation

I have this! Think Nicola/ Nicole (not my name, but along the same lines). They’re completely different names!

I never used to answer, but I just resign myself to it now, when people are told constantly what my name is but still call me the different one, it really raises my hackles!

Hilariously I have started to get people of asian ethnicity laugh and say they can't pronounce that!

...and why do you find that so difficult to believe? It’s very difficult, if not impossible, to make sounds you didn’t learn in early childhood.

Actually, this is something a lot of people don't seem to realise.

One of the reasons people are encouraged to learn a new language at a young age is because as we get older we lose the ability to hear sounds that aren't part of our own language.

So if someone isn't saying your name in the way you want, this is one of the possible reasons why.

And personally, I have to add in to the mix that I'm partly deaf, which does make things harder, even with hearing aids, although I do try my best. And if I've seen your name written down, I'll make sure to use that spelling.

What is a pointless observation, sorry?

I’m doing my family tree atm. Irish surname. So so funny because instead of searching my surname I also have to search how it would be spelled if an Irish person said it to an English person. Made me laugh lots.

My surname is constantly misspelled even nowadays, but I understand that. I don’t however understand when I sign an email from ‘Jane’ and receive a reply saying ‘hi jayne’

• I’m not actually called Jane, it’s a good example though!

My husband gets this a lot. His name is quite unusual but not unheard of and not at all difficult to pronounce. In spite of being corrected several times, some people who have known him years still get it wrong.

Imagine being called Fergus and everyone calls you Fergal, or says Edward when your name is Edmund. One of the worst offenders is someone we email regularly, so they even see it written down and still can't get it right!

@Imnotcalledthat ARGH! YANBU!

I HATE it when people call me by the wrong name. I have a fairly large family, some 7 aunts and 7 uncles and about 12 first cousins, and I am the youngest of all them. When neighbours and various people (who had known my family for many years before I was born,) saw me, they ALWAYS called me by a sibling's name, or a cousin's name. 3 in 5 times I was acknowledged, it was someone else's name.

I also used to know someone I went to school with, and she ALWAYS spelt my name wrong on letters, and Christmas and birthday cards. So if my name was Ellen, she put 'Helen' or 'Hellen' and even Ellern or Ellenor. She also always put my maiden name when addressing me, even when I had been married for 20 years!

She never got married, and all 3 long term relationships she had lasted 7, 8, and 11 years, and all 3 of them refused to get married, and all ended it with her. So I (and DH) think it was a swipe at me because she was jealous I was married.

She even said when I said I was getting married 'how has THAT happened. I should have been getting married before you! I have been with my Dave for 6 years!' No congratulations, just annoyance and anger that I got married first...

I told her multiple times that she had spelt my name wrong, and she ignored me, so I started writing to her with her name spelt wrong, sometimes a bit wrong, and sometimes outlandishly wrong. So if her name was Lynda Harrison, I put Harry Lindason, or Lynette Harris.

And when she wrote me one time (with my forename spelt wrong, and my old maiden name,) bragging about her new 'off-the-forecourt' car, and her new boyfriend who was (allegedly) on £150K a year, I never wrote back. This was 5-6 years ago. I never heard from her again until she tried to add me on facebook about 2 years ago, saying 'hi there name-spelt-wrong-again! how are you?!!! Here's some pics of my flat I share with Tom in North Staffs, thought I'd send them to make you jealous LOL!'

Why on EARTH she thought I would be jealous of her one-bed apartment in Stoke-on-Trent I have no idea, but I didn't respond, and instantly blocked her. Haven't heard a peep since!

Sorry, went off on a tangent there!!!

@Bawbags that is actually my name and is actually what I have to put up with!! Wtf? It’s so annoying, Emily and Emma are similar but how can people consistently get it wrong? Irritants

I had a friend at uni who called her boyfriend by the wrong name for about six months, it was only when they were apart for a while and he wrote to her that she realised when he signed his letter. No idea why she hadn't seen it written before, but that was the case. We all thought it was pretty funny (with the cruety of youth) but she was mortified.

The worst was case was my second son. His name is the German form of a familiar English name. One letter different in spelling, but said with a Y instead of J.
He got a new science teacher in year 8 who used the English form. My son corrected her. She told him to stop being disruptive and used the English form from that point on.

That was gaslighting and a real abuse of power. Nasty woman. Good that he had you to fight his corner. I hope you tore a strip off her.

the number of people in work who address emails to Jane rather than Catherine is scary.

Tbh I have a colour as a surname (eg. Laura Brown) and the amount of emails I get addressed to "Brown" is also scary 😂

I get this all the time but it genuinely doesn't bother me. It's only a name!! People mishear it or can't remember it properly - it's hardly crime of the century. I'll answer to any good attempt. TBH it's easier than getting all get up about it.

I just let them crack on with it. I use a simpler name for some things - such as booking a table in a restaurant as it's quicker and easier.

My family call me by my correct name but not all of them can actually spell it correctly 😅. It's really not that tricky.

poster3rdchristmaslucky

My mum was Siobhan and worked in the NHS.... over the years we had the full gamut from being verbally called Sibon to being Chevaugn.

She ended up just being happy if they managed to say it properly (ie not She-VAUGHN lol)

Eh my mums name is Siobhan and she says it she-vaughn

"Interesatingly though, he sees certain names as being 'the same'
Joan, Joanne, "

Joanne is a variant of Joan though. Both feminine versions of John.

"just tell people what you would like to be called.
Formal things like passports will need your registered name, but for everyday life you can just call yourself whatever you like."

I'm not sure this will work in every case. You may want your work contract to be in your official name and then the IT dept will give you your work email with that name and then it gets a bit more difficult to try to get people to call you something else.
I knew a Tom who was known as Keith. It was quite complicated because his emails would come from Tom and be signed off Keith.

"Like Mairie. I know someone with that name. Pronounced Marie apparently, but you wouldn’t automatically know that. Could be Mary. Could be M-eye-ree. But no, it’s Marie. So why not spell it like all the other Maries!?"

It's an Irish form, isn't it?

YABU for posting a name related question without sharing the actual name. How is anyone supposed to give accurate responses without knowing the know?

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