Unreasonably irritated that only about 8 people call me by my correct name?

[Imnotcalledthat]

It’s unusual, granted but I didn’t choose it. Still, it isn’t hard to say.

A handful of friends and my sister are the only ones who say it correctly. Everyone else says a similarly spelled but very differently pronounced name.

Imagine if your name was Joan and everyone said Joanne ... it’s that sort of idea.

It doesn’t matter how many times you correct them.

Should I just give in and accept I’m a Joanne to most people?

"have a day off for a change "

Eh? That's something you say to someone who moans about the same thing every day. That's not me, is it?

The point is that you're othering Welsh and Scottish names on a British website. We are not necessarily foreigners everywhere in Britain. Do you get that??

" accept that most people who cannot pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyll at the first time of asking are not being as deliberately as obtuse as you."

Eh? I've never expected people to pronounce Llanfair PG... correctly the first time? What are you on about?

I think you need to re-read what you wrote. ‘Indistinct back of the throat retching sound’ is particularly charming.

I agree - I think it's extremely ill-mannered to deliberately make mocking exaggerated 'being sick' sounds when trying to emulate somebody's language.

Yep that's me, there's a version with an E and an A. I get proper rages when people get it wrong.

"
Elizabeth is hardly a chore to say is it?"

I can't think of anyone I know who uses a four syllable name. I'm just repeating it over and over in my head and it seems quite unnatural to use the full version every time.

You’re backtracking, Buffet. You said that you were describing well-meaning people who were doing their best, not those openly mocking the phonemes of a different language.

I have the same thing with my name. Virtually everyone says it /spells it wrong.

Me too though I would say a lot of people rather than virtually everyone. I also get people on the phone sometimes thinking I am insulting them and saying PARDON??? I then have to repeat my name but I find it embarrassing and tedious.

I am half continental and the name comes from that country. TBH I wish my parents had given me an English or interchangeable name, not one that doesn’t make sense here. My name in my Mum’s country makes perfect sense and no one gets it wrong. It sounds better as well. The only problem is that the UK is my country and though I am attached to the other place, I am really not from there.

I'm actually a Joanne.
It's not short for Joanna, it's a different name.
My email address is Joanne@randomserver (it's really not!)
I sign weekly news emails Joanne.

90% of replies start Hi Joanna.
90% of colleagues call me Joanna to my face.

Apart from one who randomly calls me Jenny.

How bloody hard is it?

I'm a foreigner where I live and perfectly ok with answering to other names as long as they're used consistently - I don't especially like mine anyway. In some cases I rather like the alternatives. Other people are more bothered about getting my name right than I am about them doing so.

I only correct it when it actually matters, if it's going to be on a written document.

Not everyone this happens to cares.

I'm trying to say that people with names that are unusual when compared to the population as a whole should just cut a little slack to those who don't quite initially get it, and accept they are not being intentionally ignorant, they just haven't come across it before.

But the whole point of the OP was people who know you well, have frequently heard you say your name and seen it written, who still don't make the effort to use your correct name.

Calling an Emily 'Emma' every time you interact with her isn't that different from just calling her 'Whatever' or 'That woman over there'. It's a clear way of telling her that you don't respect or value her as a person - her only use is in how she affects or relates to you. We're not talking about new or very infrequent acquaintances.

@Gwenhwyfar do you realise how ridiculous you sound? You actually think people called Elizabeth shouldn’t use their full name because you find it too long 🤣.

"You actually think people called Elizabeth shouldn’t use their full name because you find it too long 🤣."

I'm being realistic about how likely it is that people will not want to shorten it Ginger. My impression seems to be born out by this Elizabeth's actual experience, so I'm obviously not being ridiculous at all.

I work taking phone calls for a local authority and the amount of people who call back asking for completely the wrong name. Other members of the team genuinely tell people they have the wrong number sometimes as nobody works there by that name or transfer them to someone who’s name rhymes with mine

I have a double barrelled hyphenated first name (thanks parents) Since I was a child I have been called by the initials of my first name (eg if I was Ann-Marie I'd be AM) which isn't uncommon for people with my name. The number of people I get asking me to spell my initials is mad and then the utter horror when they realise that's my name. I've had people actually tell me that they won't call me by my name so I insist now that they call me Dr MySurname.

Lan - same thing happens to me. I remember once waving my arms around trying to get the person on the phone to transfer to me because I'd understood what had happened. The name I was given was a totally different first name and last name and a man's name, but I just about understood it was supposed to be me.
I get 'dear mr x' sometimes as well and never correct in the hope I'll get treated with more respect.

Veronica, Alisia, Elizabeth, Angelina, Camelia and Felicity are all in our family and are not shortened. i don't think any of us find them long to say.

My elderly and very East End aunt used to cut everyone's name down to one syllable. Even ones with only 2 to start with. Her immediate family were Aau (Alice!) Mau, Bau, Lau, Dau and Frau, ect. As a kid i really struggled to work out who the hell she was ever on about

You’re backtracking, Buffet. You said that you were describing well-meaning people who were doing their best, not those openly mocking the phonemes of a different language.

You're correct: I accidentally conflated the people who make an effort with those '"Ooh, look - it's forrin!" types. My apologies.

However, there is occasionally a crossover - the people who genuinely give it a go and then get needlessly self-conscious (maybe mocked by the ones who would never bother trying in the first place) and so try to deflect their own self-consciousness by turning it into the language that's 'ridiculous' and thus going way OTT with the sicky sounds.

I would correct them politely the first time and the second time they do it ignore them until they get your name right- this worked for a few friends of mine in their workplace.

Wow.
My family are constantly correcting people.
Dad is German and his name starts with W which is a V sound. Over here most people use the English W despite being corrected.
My name commonly ends with a Y but mine is I. As pp have said, look at the email address.
My oldest was constantly called by a similar, Indian name because no one had heard of his.
My daughter's name is shortened to Gabby which she hates. She prefers Ella.
The worst was case was my second son. His name is the German form of a familiar English name. One letter different in spelling, but said with a Y instead of J.
He got a new science teacher in year 8 who used the English form. My son corrected her. She told him to stop being disruptive and used the English form from that point on.
Work he handed in had his name crossed out and rewritten.
He had had a number of lunchtime detentions over this before he told me.
The reason he told me was because he had been given an after school detention for shouting his correct name over and over again during the lesson.
Needless to say the head and I had a chat and he didn't do the detention.

@Imnotcalledthat you are definitely not being unreasonable

I have a 'normal' name, not enormously popular but commonly known thanks to characters in TV shows etc. This means that luckily, I don't often have people accidentally mispronounce or just get the whole name wrong so I haven't had to put up with what you do. My name does have two spellings, and I find it very irritating when people spell my name 'the other way' particularly when they are emailing me as precisely that meme suggests "ITS RIGHT THERE IN THE EMAIL, ITS NOT A HIDDEN DETAIL"

Additionally there are foreign versions of my name which have different pronunciations (and spellings) but a surprising number of people seem to think they are A) the first person to do it and B) hilarious when they call me by one of these other names.

I think you have the right to be called by your correct name, pronounced correctly. An initial mistake is perhaps forgivable, but to repeatedly get it wrong is not.

YANBU

Ohhhh the "are you sure?" comments when you tell someone how your less-common name is spelled rather than the more-common version.

Had that when registering at Univeristy. I could hear that the registrar was pronouncing it wrong, which said to me that she was writing it down wrong too (Happens). 3 times she said it wrong, and 3 times I corrected it - and then she came out with the "are you sure?"

Yes love. I've had it 18 years and I got into University, so I'm not entirely stupid and CAN spell my own fucking surname, thanks.

(No of course I didn't SAY that! But if she could have read my thoughts...)

I don't agree that it's precious to want people to spell and say your name correctly. And I don't agree that if they're STILL doing it after numerous corrections that it's ok. It's just lazy and "don't care" on their part. And if they are in a professional capacity then it gives me a very poor opinion of their professional attention to detail!

I used to work with a woman who had a knack - a bad one - of giving people the worst version of their name. I don't like mine being elongated - she would do it every time, same with my boss (both short, one-syllable names, would end up with an -ie on the end ). But people who liked their name in full, she would ALWAYS shorten them. People who liked a short nickname, she would ALWAYS use their full name. It was uncanny! not one single person in that office got called by their preferred name.

Despite this thread showing how irritating mispronunciations are , people continue to give their kids names with wacky alternative spellings. I don’t understand it.

Like Mairie. I know someone with that name. Pronounced Marie apparently, but you wouldn’t automatically know that. Could be Mary. Could be M-eye-ree. But no, it’s Marie. So why not spell it like all the other Maries!?

I'm being realistic about how likely it is that people will not want to shorten it Ginger. My impression seems to be born out by this Elizabeth's actual experience, so I'm obviously not being ridiculous at all

People may want to shorten it, but the actual person with the name doesn't. It's rude to impose a nickname on someone who has clearly expressed a wish to be addressed as their actual name. Some Elizabeth's experiences will vary, and they won't mind being an Ellie, Eliza, Beth or Liz, and that is fine.

It’s a name. dessert is closest, it isn’t the same name but it’s that sort of idea - people defaulting to one they ‘know’

I actually don’t disagree with xenia. The problem is I didn’t name myself. If I knew then what I now know, I probably would have changed my name formally at 18 to a name I do like. But it’s easier said than done!

My name often has a letter moved both spoken & written but it changes the whole sound (think Kirstie/Kristie). Drives me round the bend because I can't bear the other name. I ended up just shortening my name to name it easier & so I don't have to listen to it always being butchered

Mintychoc1, reminds me of that news article about the kid on the plane: Abcde (pronounced Ab-si-dee)