Is husband being unreasonable about baby's needles

[bigmamama]

Hi so me and my husband are currently at logger heads about taking our 6mo for his needles which is tomorrow.
So basically he has missed his needles as he was poorly when they were due at 3 months old, he was in hospital with bronchiolitis and it just kept getting put on the back burner as he had virus after virus and spent a bit of time in and out of hospital over the Xmas period and was sent for some tests to check all was ok. And it was. so now his needles are due tomorrow and my husband has said he doesn't want the baby to have them as he thinks it will set him back, make him poorly, he's too small, he thinks the government are just trying to scare monger people into having them done etc.
I want the baby to have his needles especially since our 3yo has had them done! I really don't want to take the baby to get them behind his back but he's not budging on this!

The MMR came out several years to late for me and while I remember the pre-school immunisations (including the sugar lump with the drops for polio on them) I also remember the weeks lost off school ill for Rubella, Whooping Cough and Mumps.

Without question I've had my DCs immunised. DS1 had egg allergies so with advice, we had to wait at the surgery afterwards to check that the low risk of egg allergy didn't trigger. DS2 had bronchiolitis as a baby and was left with asthmatic symptoms and a tendency to chest infections for a few years after- anything to not have to see him battle for every precious breath again.

Despite vaccinations, and not being the higher risk age group. I'm wondering if DS1 had Mumps before Christmas. He's normally so hardy, but got floored by what first appeared to be a heavy cold, then horrendous night sweats to the point that I had to check if he'd wet himself, then about 5 days in he complained of a pain in his jaw, then the next day puffed up like a hamster. Being just before Christmas I could not get hold of the GP despite at least 35 attempts. I wasn't going to drag a wiped out child with a potentially contagious illness down there. Since new year it turns out that cases of Mumps are spreading through the county. It could well be that there are many unreported potential cases like ours. At least being vaccinated, I know I have taken reasonable precautions to protect his health and not a jot of guilt.

Get baby vaccinated. Because of the rise of anti-vaxxers these diseases are coming back. The better the herd immunity, the less children will be maimed or killed by these diseases that were so nearly eradicated for very good reason.

Please don't call them needles

That's scary

What, because the widely understood term JABS is better? Which kind of sounds like they're about to be punched in the face with a boxing glove?!

Sorry we do call it needles where I'm from but obviously I do mean vaccinations/immunisations/jabs !!
DH can't come to the appointment as he has a very early buisness meeting out of town, he's expressed his wishes for me not to take him to the appointment he said he wants to wait maybe until he's around 1?
I have considered taking him behind his back but it doesn't sit right with me and id certainly tell him after the fact. But then itl be the blame game, If the baby isn't well afterwards for whatever reason it will surely be my fault for taking him for his "needles".
He knows how I feel about it and iv told him about the possibilities of what could happen if he doesn't have them etc.
DH's brother has a child who is 7mo and hasn't had injections as he doesnt believe that they are right and that's his choice, so I definitely know he's been influenced by that. Maybe if I just rearrange the appointment for next week and make sure Dh comes with ?

what are you calling them 'needles'?! Have them done. You are putting lives at risks by not doing so.

OP I would strongly recommend getting your child vaccinated, however I would also strongly recommend waiting until your baby is completely recovered from the pre existing viruses.

I would strongly recommend getting a qualified healthcare professional to make that judgement after reviewing the child, and not an internet random.

'was sent for some tests to check all was ok. And it was. so now his needles are due tomorrow'

You seem to be not listening properly to the back story, @FlamingGalar. The child was ill, the child was checked out, the child is well. And now Mum wants to make sure the child remains so.

Often called 'needles' up here in the north-east. Some people are so snotty!

Plus, the husband is understandably worried. (there's been plenty of mothers on here with the same fears)

Once he's properly listened to the arguments for, and maybe spoken to the health visitor or nurse, he will be reassured.

Give the bloke a chance.

And fgs, will the Language Police fuck off!

I know this is AIBU, but the OP asked a perfectly reasonable question and we ALL understood what she meant, whether that was a term we'd heard before or not.
People are not going to change their local terminology just because some Up-Their-Own-Arse Mumsnetters pick holes in it.

he's expressed his wishes for me not to take him to the appointment he said he wants to wait maybe until he's around 1?

I’d want my DH to provide me with medical evidence, rationale and justification as to how this relates to my child’s present condition and why it would be best to delay further. What has he given you to support his stance? I would use what he has researched as the starting point for the conversation with the healthcare professional.

DH's brother has a child who is 7mo and hasn't had injections as he doesn't believe that they are right and that's his choice, so I definitely know he's been influenced by that. Maybe if I just rearrange the appointment for next week and make sure Dh comes with ?

Yes. And tell him it's a dealbreaker. You as the other parent are not prepared to take the chance of waiting till he's one.

And in the meantime, show him what catching the actual illnesses really means. Playing a sound file of a baby with whooping cough should do it.

FFS. If the doctors believe your 6 month old is now healthy enough to have his jabs, then get him his jabs.

You would never be able to forgive yourself or your husband if you don't and your baby becomes seriously ill or worse as a result of not having them.

Get them done OP. They are literally lifesaving.

Ignore the pointless snootiness as well and keep saying needles, which is as acceptable or more so than any other term. Nothing wrong with it at all. Jabs is just a horrible word and our local practices get sniffy for some reason if they're referred to as vaccinations, got to be immunisations. We call them noodles in our house.

You absolutely must have them done.

Are you honestly ok with your child NOT being vaccinated?

They need doing. I can understand where he's coming from as I had this with one of mine, you really don't want to set them back but just think what could happen if they caught something that the vaccines could have prevented. Vaccinations usually make them a bit off for a day or two then that's it. They don't actually MAKE them ill.

Shitting hell, does it really matter what she calls them? I've not heard the term, made me wonder what the thread would be about from the title. Immediately obvious once I read it. I don't understand the agro.

OP - it is so so important to get your child vaccinated! I would take dp to the dr with you and get him to go through the risks with you both. If he still does not agree, well, I would go behind his back personally.

Don’t cancel the appointment op.

By the way, my DD2 caught measles at 8/9 months when the MMR wasn't given until later.

She was very ill. But better than a classmate at school in 1979's baby brother was - he died of whooping cough and she was in hospital for 3 months - the baby died within 5 days of the first cough. Another nearly died of tetanus (because his mother didn't believe in medicine). I had come into contact with TB by the age of 4 and was very ill - despite not going to playgroups, toddler groups or anywhere other than the shops with my mother once a week. Even within the last decades, the child living in the next flat to me nearly died of Meningitis, which babies can now be vaccinated against.

Because you can't keep a baby in a bubble. and these days, you can't rely upon other parents understanding that these diseases kill and disable rich and poor alike. Diptheria doesn't care if you have a big house. Polio doesn't care that the baby splash sessions are expensive or the swim nappy costs more than the cost of the entire childhood vaccination programme for that kid. Or that Dad's brother thinks it's all a conspiracy - right up to the point his bollocks swell up so much that it feels like they're going to split.

BTW you’re not exactly being polite yourself @Hoik**

I have not been rude to any one specific person or addressed my comments directly to any one person, I didnt realise that having a generalised rant about the same incorrect comments being posted over and over was frowned upon. Do you always use an insistence on politeness as a means to shut down discussion?

My eldest daughter became chronically ill after a vaccine as a teen. I still give my younger two (born after she got ill) all the vaccines in the nhs guidelines.

There’s a risk with all vaccines, but esp with the growing number of anti-vaxxers there’s a lot of misinformation out there about how much there actually is. And the less children are vaccinated, the more likely it will be to have outbreaks.

I'd tell him you understand he's just afraid because baby was so sick but that he's being a loony and listening to the anti-Vaccine parade.

I'd be taking baby anyway

I call them imms because of my brother who is a staff nurse and administers them, but up until then we all called them needles. Some people use jabs, I think Scotland in some places say jags. It’s not scary fgs it’s hust different people from different areas.

@bigmamama just go and get them down without telling him, the possible consequences of not having them will be far worse than bronchiolitis.

Regardless of what you call them, keep the appointment and get them done. Tell your husband or don’t tell him, it doesn’t matter which. What does matter is protecting your child.

I have not been rude to any one specific person or addressed my comments directly to any one person, I didnt realise that having a generalised rant about the same incorrect comments being posted over and over was frowned upon. Do you always use an insistence on politeness as a means to shut down discussion?

No but I do always notice hypocrisy.

Be polite if you’re exhorting other people to be polite.