Is husband being unreasonable about baby's needles

[bigmamama]

Hi so me and my husband are currently at logger heads about taking our 6mo for his needles which is tomorrow.
So basically he has missed his needles as he was poorly when they were due at 3 months old, he was in hospital with bronchiolitis and it just kept getting put on the back burner as he had virus after virus and spent a bit of time in and out of hospital over the Xmas period and was sent for some tests to check all was ok. And it was. so now his needles are due tomorrow and my husband has said he doesn't want the baby to have them as he thinks it will set him back, make him poorly, he's too small, he thinks the government are just trying to scare monger people into having them done etc.
I want the baby to have his needles especially since our 3yo has had them done! I really don't want to take the baby to get them behind his back but he's not budging on this!

[FalldereedilIdo]

Ask your husband to read Roal Dahl’s account of watching his girl (who was a lot older than your little boy and was generally healthy) dying of measles. It’s really heart breaking. Honestly, the government is not scare mongering - vaccines save lives, simple as that.

[ClappyFlappy]

I’m not sure what would happen if parents who both had PR disagreed. Certainly when I’ve taken mine for vaccines no one has asked if the other parent consented or not. I suppose it might be different if the other parent expressly told the surgery they didn’t consent. Not sure what the surgery would do then but I imagine in the unlikely event it went to a legal dispute in the courts the vaccines would be given as being in the child’s best interests

[BecauseReasons]

It's stupid, a 'needle' could be anything and the way the word was used in the op was quite ridiculous.

It really wasn't. Replace the word needles with the word vaccinations and the OP reads perfectly well. Also, it could hardly mean 'anything'. Jabs is far more ambiguous.

[Shantotto]

Perfectly obvious what OP is talking about, where I live at the moment they call them jags. The other day someone asked me when DD’s next set of jags were. That’s weirder than needles if you ask me!

Anyway OP I know you don’t want to do it behind your DHs back but if he’s so adamant I can’t see how talking to the nurse / doctor will change his mind.

[Dagnabit]

I haven't RTFF because it's full of repeated posts about the term needles but why are some people saying that the term 'needles' is scary? A baby won't associate it with anything scary any more than any other term. Projection much?

With regards to the actual issue; get the vaccinations done, it's so important. Show your dh some literature on the actual effects that not having them done, could have.

[ActualHornist]

@Bluerussian are you a Russian who lives in south London? I can only assume your first language is not English if you couldn’t understand the context.

Contrary to popular belief dialects outside of the M25 are allowed!

[BrendasUmbrella]

But then itl be the blame game, If the baby isn't well afterwards for whatever reason it will surely be my fault for taking him for his "needles".

There's a way worse scenario than the one above. If your vulnerable baby caught a preventable disease that you hadn't inoculated him against because your DH didn't agree. If he's vulnerable, even more reason for him to be protected.

[PleaseGiveMeAShake]

OP what happens if at next week's appointment your dh still refuses the jags?
I don't think they will be allowed to give the baby injections if one of the parents attending objects.
Since your baby already had a near miss with being so poorly, I would be taking the baby tomorrow to make sure they got them.

[Veterinari]

@Bluerussian all over northern England.

It's remarkable isn't it that you perhaps aren't quite as omniscient as you supposed. Perhaps take it as a learning opportunity rather than defending your own ignorance by trying to sneer at others.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

Don't you just love the way that, despite global media, language is still so regional in this country?
I do!

And it would be heartbreaking to lose that infinite variety.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

@bluerussian all over Merseyside for a start!

And the North East!

[mumwon]

Do I have to do the long page of research & history of the diagnosis of Autism AGAIN - the apparent increase in Autism (& ADHD) is because of several factors
diagnosis of autism until about 1980 was based on Kanner's Syndrome the profound form of ASD - Aspergers Syndrome was only included in the DSM (the American Diagnostic Manual of mental Disorders) after about 1980. Adults within the spectrum were not diagnosed & until the 2009 Autism Act which was centred on undiagnosed adults right for diagnosis - The APPARENT increase is more about the parents knowledge & networks & their push for diagnosis on top of this - ie an increase in diagnosis not an increase in incident - the internet is a great social network. Bearman & KIng et al in a series of research articles from 2009 identified the network of parents as being responsible for increases in diagnosis - basically parents tell each other about doctors who are experts in ASD - there is a lot more research & also links to special education & changes in support from being based on LD to increasing the scope to include ASD & also the changes from using asylums to being supported in mainstream society which started from the late seventies onwards.

[missjaysays]

Don't be so bloody stupid!
Get your child vaccinated! Even more reason to if there's another child in the family who is unvaccinated.

Tell your eejit of a husband meningitis will set your poor baby back more than a damn immunisation will.

[Jux]

Please do it. There are televised warnings about Uni students coming down with mumps - it's truly awful. You really wouldn't want that to happen to your child.

[SandyGotMarried]

I think your dh is trying to blame the government as a way to disguise his lazy arse parenting.
He obviously just doesn't want to deal with an irritated/unwell post vaccinations baby.
Selfish git.

[Bluerussian]

ActualHornist, no I am an English woman. I've just not come across 'needles' for 'vaccinations', though I did guess the correct meaning. I don't care what anyone calls them, it just seemed odd to me. When I hear it in future (which I am bound to, it's always the way), it will not seem odd.

I learn something every day on Mumsnet.

[Bymeanstogo]

Get them done Op, my DH didn’t disagree but wouldn’t go as it was too distressing. Our baby had a BCG which was traumatic & he was off colour for a few days but it’s worth it. You’ll never forgive yourself if your baby gets sick

[TheTrollFairy]

Why are you rearranging the appointment so your DH who doesn’t want the jabs done can come?
Just get them done! The illnesses that these jabs help stop are currently on the rise. I know of kids who have had some of the preventable illnesses before they were old enough for the jabs and it was horrendous!

On the other side of it, kids need to get their jabs done to help stop the spread of germs to kids who are not able to get the jabs done because of illness

[MrSandmanBringMeABream]

I'm trying not to be harsh but I honestly have so little sympathy for this.

Let's hope your little one doesn't fall seriously ill before you get him immunised at a year old, hey?

And please inform anyone with a new baby or anyone otherwise immunocompromised that you haven't vaccinated your child so that they can choose to avoid until it's done or their circumstances change.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

”Don't you just love the way that, despite global media, language is still so regional in this country?“

I really do, @ElderAve - I love learning different regional words and phrases - it makes the language even richer in my opinion.

I think that it is reasonable to ask (politely) for clarification if you don’t understand a word or phrase - but if it can be deduced from the context (as the use of needles for immunisations can, in the OP), then there really is no need for sarcasm or snotty comments.

@bigmamama - would your dh be happier if you rescheduled the appointment so he could have a chat with the GP first, to set his mind at rest?

[Jimjamjong]

I think it's a good idea to take your DH with you, the GP might be able to convince him that your baby's needles are good for him as they will protect him on the long term against some terrible diseases.

[bigmamama]

Thank you @Jimjamjong I think that is what I'm going to do.

[Duelatdawn]

Hope the appointment goes well Bigmama and the GP helps your DH see how important it is for his DC to be protected against these dreadful illnesses.

[beanaseireann]

Sammi38
You say "It's called needles in Ireland I think."
I live in Dublin, Ireland and have never heard the word vaccinations substituted by "needles"
I'd definitely get the baby vaccinated, OP

[beanaseireann]

Shantotto
Perhaps they meant jabs not jags