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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aggressive man in cinema

173 replies

earlydoors42 · 17/02/2020 13:44

Just went to the pictures with my kids. It was a "sit anywhere" screening so we sat in the best seats which you can pay more for - usually nobody pays extra and anyone sits there, especially in a not busy screening like it was today.

A man & 2 boys said we were in his seats (at the end of the row) so we were moving down (the rest of the row was empty anyway - we ended up in the middle in better seats). As he went past while I was still sitting - but it was clear we were moving as my kids had already stood up, I was just gathering stuff - he hit me in my knees with his knees several times on purpose! My son saw him do it too. It actually hurt quite a bit, i have bad knees. It wasn't an accident.

AIBU to think that was unnecessary?! I accept it is wrong to sit in the premier seats, except the cinema don't care and we moved when he said we were in his seats.

OP posts:
Original poster
earlydoors42 · 18/02/2020 07:17

Glad to be of service :-)

OP posts:
Original poster
earlydoors42 · 18/02/2020 07:27

I was actually trying to explain why we all thought it was ok to.sit there .. not that we think we have the right to much better things for less money .. the seats are in the middle but not noticeably better in any way. I almost always go to kids club showings which I just checked and it is the same price for all seats and is "sit anywhere" and the ticket says Row Seat . Our tickets yesterday said the same thing. I thought it only mattered in seated, busy performances. The kids said it's always fine to sit there, it doesn't matter. If the cinema has cameras as others have said, they will see people sitting in these seats all the time, despite them not selling tickets for them. They obviously aren't bothered or they would police it. Sorry that I misunderstood.

You were nasty. I hope you are proud of yourself and your own behaviour! At least I wasn't name calling. I literally sat in the wrong seats because of a misunderstanding.

OP posts:
Original poster
earlydoors42 · 18/02/2020 07:43

The person who said "if he had booked those seats then fair enough" - fair enough that he deliberately hurt me? I moved as soon as he told me to. So we can just injure people on purpose can we?

OP posts:
crispysausagerolls · 18/02/2020 07:50

I bet this man also didn’t have premier seat tickets

atomicblonde30 · 18/02/2020 08:07

Who says this man had those tickets?

Why has everyone just assumed he’s telling the truth without any proof yet the OP is being spoken too like she’s a piece of shit despite moving straight away!

I cannot believe people are excusing her being assaulted by this nasty prick, talk about victim blaming.

justilou1 · 18/02/2020 08:12

I bet he didn’t book those seats, and he’s just a bullying misogynist c#*t

AshenQueen · 18/02/2020 08:17

Depressing thread. The issue should be the OP being hurt by an aggressive man, not why he did it.

Also 'freeze' is a perfectly natural fight or flight response, you don't control it if it happens and you don't get to choose it.

OP you are YADNBU, no one should be assaulted, even over a seat Hmm

HandsOffMyLangCleg · 18/02/2020 08:40

Agree with Ashen

flower1994 · 18/02/2020 08:50

BootShakin over the top harsh. get a life

2Rebecca · 18/02/2020 09:07

If someone is coming past you in the cinema you stand up to give them room to pass. It sounds as though you would have been able to see him coming down the line of seats and chose to remain seated rather than stand to let him pass. He was being aggressive but by staying seated you were being obstructive. You should have stood up to let him pass then faffed on with your stuff.

Bikerider2020 · 18/02/2020 09:08

^^ This. He's wrong to hurt you but god I hate CFs like you. I always wonder who raise the twats who think they can do what they want, now I know.

Bloody hell @BootShakin hate and twats! What do you do when you meet a real life problem?

Totally OTT get a bloody grip!

anicebag · 18/02/2020 09:16

Good god. A man kneed you in front of his and your kids. What a total arsehole. I know exactly the scenario you're describing. In an empty cinema, where you moved no problem. He's been a total arsehole. I don't understand some of these responses. You'd be in your rights to contact the odeon but I'd rather not deal with their lack of response and let it go. Or you could go on Twitter and the odeon might pick it up. He may have paid online. Horrible experience for you.

anicebag · 18/02/2020 09:18

And I say this as I've a husband who it pisses off when people sit in his premier seats. People with big bums get annoyed quick 😄.

Birdshitbridgegotme · 18/02/2020 09:47

Hes a horrible bully. Okay you were in his seats but you was moving. Maybe just not fast enough for him? Doesnt give him the right to do that to you. And his kids are going to grow up the same. Wonder if he would have done the same to tour knees if you had been a man.

WanderingBar · 18/02/2020 10:31

Absolutely no excuse for this man trying (and succeeding) in hurting someone for sitting in his seats.

I had to pick up on this comment though Unless it's packed or you are told "no" by one of the staff I don't see why you can't pick another seat than the one printed on your ticket Hmm .

I am autistic and the only way I can take my dc to the cinema is if there is allocated seating - I worry myself sick beforehand in case there is someone sitting in them,.

I'm not talking for all autistic people, but for a lot of us knowing exactly where we are going to be sitting makes it possible for us to attend events.

Original poster
earlydoors42 · 18/02/2020 13:35

There wasn't a seat printed on my ticket - it said Row Seat and I thought everyone's tickets said that. I usually go to kids club and you can sit in premier for that - you can sit anywhere for the same price.

Also I couldn't have stood up faster. We were at the far end of the row so no, I didn't expect him to be going past me, and as for faffing with my stuff, I had 2 coats, a packed lunch and a carrier bag on my knee so needed to get hold of it all to stand up. It was dark so didn't want to drop anything. He could have stood back to let me do that. He had nowhere to go until we moved as we were in the last seats. I was pretty quick but obviously not fast enough for him or for some people posting on here who are determined that I brought his actions on myself.

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 18/02/2020 14:00

Man assaults woman.

Mob of people say 'but what did you do to provoke him?!'

Mia1415 · 18/02/2020 14:52

Oh FFS some people on here are being ridiculous. The cinema was practically empty and it was not a seat by number basis. It was a free for all. He was an aggressive bully OP.

THIS! Of course YANBU. No one has the right to go around hurting someone else. Even if you had refused to move he wouldn't have had the right to hurt you.

Streamingbannersofdawn · 18/02/2020 15:07

The man was awful. He asked you to move you moved. Our cinema is quite old and you can barely see the row numbers on the floor. Lots of shuffling around and "oh sorry wrong row" etc. No need to be aggressive.

However...

I would take issue with the cinema personally, either the seating is assigned or it's not. Or is it "seating not assigned except for premier seating which is assigned"...which I doubt. They need to be more clear.

InTheSummerhouse · 18/02/2020 15:13

Could he have passed you, seated as you were, without knocking in to your legs? I don't know of a cinema where that would have been possible. He didn't come over to you and knee you did he? Or have I misunderstood? He bashed you because he could not pass without knocking in to you and you did not move or stand up to allow him to pass.

Of course he should have still stood and repeatedly asked you to stand/ move so that he could pass rather than try to squeeze by especialy as tempers were already frayed.

Bringbackthebill · 18/02/2020 16:10

people posting on here who are determined that I brought his actions on myself.
People aren’t saying that you brought this on yourself.
Are they not questioning how a man passing someone on cinema seats and their knees banging together results in the level of hysteria in calling the police / assault/ aggressive bully etc.

Original poster
earlydoors42 · 18/02/2020 16:37

It wasn't an accidental knocking of knees. It was a deliberate attack on me, sort of like kicking but with his knees into my knees, presumably because he was angry with me (and thought he could get away with it).

He could have passed me but chose to stop and hurt me on his way past.

I didn't refuse to move and the only temper frayed was his. I was just trying to stand up which is hard with loads of things on your lap to grab in the dark. I wasn't slow though and was trying not to be in his way.

I have said this repeatedly but assume the last couple of people didn't RTFT.

I wouldn't have posted about someone squeezing past and accidentally touching me.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 18/02/2020 16:39

Of course they were his seats if he paid extra for them. Just because the OP didn’t pay extra does mean he also didn’t

What part of a sit anywhere screening don’t you understand?

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