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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aggressive man in cinema

173 replies

earlydoors42 · 17/02/2020 13:44

Just went to the pictures with my kids. It was a "sit anywhere" screening so we sat in the best seats which you can pay more for - usually nobody pays extra and anyone sits there, especially in a not busy screening like it was today.

A man & 2 boys said we were in his seats (at the end of the row) so we were moving down (the rest of the row was empty anyway - we ended up in the middle in better seats). As he went past while I was still sitting - but it was clear we were moving as my kids had already stood up, I was just gathering stuff - he hit me in my knees with his knees several times on purpose! My son saw him do it too. It actually hurt quite a bit, i have bad knees. It wasn't an accident.

AIBU to think that was unnecessary?! I accept it is wrong to sit in the premier seats, except the cinema don't care and we moved when he said we were in his seats.

OP posts:

flower1994 · 17/02/2020 16:40

PuppyMonkey why is that your concern over a random man being aggressively intimidating toward a woman on her own?

fessmess2 · 17/02/2020 16:40

I totally empathise with OP, the man was an arsehole. Also, it is a defence mechanism to freeze under attack. What if she had responded and he thumped her? She was teaching her kids it is often better to keep quiet with the unhinged as it could escalate.

WorraLiberty · 17/02/2020 16:43

As much as people are getting far too het up about the seats, I'm not sure what else there is to discuss.

The OP asked AIBU to be upset that a man deliberately hurt me in a weird way because we sat in his seats but moved when he told us to!

It'd be a pretty weird thread if everyone said, "Yes, YABU. You should have embraced his weird knee jabbing"

PuppyMonkey · 17/02/2020 16:44

That’s not my concern at all flower, my first post states that if you read it.

I’m just talking about the seats as it’s cropped up as part of the conversation on this thread that OP didn’t know there was any difference Between standard and premier seats.

Herringbone31 · 17/02/2020 16:46

How can you be sat in his seats if it was sit anywhere?

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 16:48

I don't understand why op didn't alert cinema staff and proceeded to sit in same row as the man and watch the movie? If it was as bad as you make out op than why not report it to the staff? There are cameras?

MrsStrangerThing · 17/02/2020 16:49

Urgh disgusting behaviour. I don't care if you dropped a coke all over him, there is absolutely no excuse for physically assaulting someone. Its a shame you didn't report it at the time though as there really isn't anything you can do now unfortunately. But of course yanbu for being annoyed at him.

I hope you were able to enjoy the film regardless.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 16:49

Herringbone31 because it wasnt sit anywhere. It was sit anywhere in standard seating but op chose premier that you pay extra and claims she didnt know.

Original poster

earlydoors42 · 17/02/2020 16:49

There was only a member of staff selling tickets and food - there weren't any others - I tried to find one at the end to say we'd seen a mouse but didn't want to queue up. I think the people who are most angry with me about the premier seats have better cinemas than ours, with better premier seats to get upset about. Ours are almost indistinguishable and as I have said, I am really surprised anyone booked them for such a non-new film at non-prime showing. They aren't worth extra except maybe if the cinema is packed.

Thank you to people supporting me about the aggressive man! Only 1 of my kids saw it happen, the 2 smallest ones didn't and so standing up and shouting would have upset them, I am sure. Just leaving it was the right thing to do, for me, in that circumstance.

OP posts:

SimonJT · 17/02/2020 16:50

@Yesterdayforgotten Fear, he’s already kicked her, she may have felt safer to stay put.

Juliette20 · 17/02/2020 16:51

I can't believe anyone is defending this man's actions, he was NBU to ask the OP politely to move, but he was a violent douchebag to deliberately hurt the OP. Who the hell does that?

Dagnabit · 17/02/2020 16:52

Bloody hell, some people on here

OP, how dare you sit in those seats. You deserved to be beaten to a bloody pulp and got off lightly! Ffs, all he needed to do was ask then allow them to move.

And @ScarlettBlaize - we'd paid for the VIP seats and there was a huge family in them, already stuffing themselves with tons of snack food before the trailers had even started. They're always fat fuckers, aren't they?

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 16:52

There will have been an escape route at other end of row though? How could you enjoy the film? Reporting it surely at alme point of the film would have been the logical thing. On way out op could have even told a member of staff and reported it. This man should have been banned, there are camera so it wasnt too late.

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 16:53

cameras^

Blackandgreenteas · 17/02/2020 16:53

That’s assault! Doesn’t matter if you were right or wrong, he still can’t hit your knees!

Original poster

earlydoors42 · 17/02/2020 16:53

I did enjoy the film thank you :-)

I wouldn't have wanted to leave my kids and go and find a member of staff when the man would have just denied it anyway! You think it would show up on cameras in a dark cinema, if they even have any? We don't have lots of members of staff at our Odeon. Nobody even checked our tickets - I booked online and printed from the machine on the wall. The film started and I wanted to watch it. I didn't think he was going to come and hit me! So yes stayed on the same long, empty row away from him. Is that ok?

OP posts:

Nightflower · 17/02/2020 16:55

He was aggressive and he shouldn't have done that. It doesn't matter if you were in his seats, it doesn't matter it was premium. He assaulted you!
Unless it's packed or you are told "no" by one of the staff I don't see why you can't pick another seat than the one printed on your ticket . You agreed to move when he said those were his seats, although at a sit anywhere I would had asked to see his tickets and his seat numbers, because it sounds he just wanted those seats and he was intimidating and aggressive and wanted the "good" seats from himself. He asked you to move and you agreed, nothing to be sorry for. I wouldn't start an argument over some seats ...yet alone in front of my children but I would said "oi that hurts as loud as I could and give him a look" and step on his food by mistake

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 16:55

Dagnabit always have the bloody stinking nachos fully loaded and giant pops and popcorns and god knows what else...and what a cafuffle having them move!

Yesterdayforgotten · 17/02/2020 16:58

earlydoors42 yes I do because I once had my handbag stolen and the camera showed it (long story!) Also I thought it happened at the start before they had dimmed the lights. If you enjoyed the film and weren't scared you could have nipped and told member of staff.

Original poster

earlydoors42 · 17/02/2020 16:58

Not worth reporting it as in am sure he would deny it and say it was accidental. I would have had to join the long queue for tickets / popcorn / drinks to get to the only member of staff too. By then he would have gone.

There was an escape route at the end of the row, but I wasn't scared of him, I thought he was s nasty bully who took his anger out on me when he had chance. I did enjoy the film.

OP posts:

Original poster

earlydoors42 · 17/02/2020 17:00

No, it was in the last trailer, it was very dark and loud and the film started as soon as we moved. I wanted to watch the film and there aren't any staff about anyway. Just one on the till.

OP posts:

QuantumEntanglement · 17/02/2020 17:02

It'd be a pretty weird thread if everyone said, "Yes, YABU. You should have embraced his weird knee jabbing"

Some people are pretty much almost saying that though, like the OP deserved to be physically assaulted for the crime of sitting in the good seats having not paid the good seat price. Like no one here wouldn't take the chance in an emptyish cinema or hasn't jumped forward a few rows at a concert after seeing gaps in better seats. Waiting 20 minutes doesn't excuse you btw you're still as much a cf as the next person.

As for: "what does she want from the thread? What can anyone do about it?" Please. Why be so arsey? What does anyone want from any thread they post? To spark discussion, vent or unload or just share little incidents in their lives.

Sorry that happened to you OP, hope it didn't spoil your film too much.

recordbox · 17/02/2020 17:16

Whatever the OP was up to, it doesn't justify aggression against her.

I never for a second suggested that it did.

Biancadelrioisback · 17/02/2020 17:25

Sorry I still don't get how he kneed you in the knee if you were sat, had moved to let him pass, he was stood and much bigger than you? Unless his knees were really far down on his legs? Sounds like you wouldnt be knee to knee but more knee to shin? In which case he would have had to sort of squat down to reach you? Is that what you mean by it being weird and obvious?

Original poster

earlydoors42 · 17/02/2020 17:37

No idea, I didn't stop to think about the mechanics at the time. I am 5 foot 10 so maybe he wasn't taller than me - he wasn't small though. I am 10 stone though and he was definitely bigger and stronger than me. I don't think my knees when sitting are at a man's shin level. My feet touch the floor when I sit on seats so my knees are at the same height whether I sit or stand? Ie they are at knee level.

OP posts:

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