If you can be anything, be kind....

[BeAnythingBeKind]

Its such a simple thing, and can make all the difference.

We are all guilty of it, me included, So instead of making negative comments about the work colleagues, fellow school mum's, stranger on the bus...Say something kind, you never know, it could just make all the difference. No-one really knows what people are going through.

Anyone who wants to vent/talk/cry....Please feel free to let rip here, It's OK not to feel OK

Be kind sounds nice, until you look at it who it’s said to.
It’s said to women.
Then it’s “don’t make a fuss, don’t stand up for yourself, give way, let them erode your rights because they have hurt feelings, we teach our children to be kind...”

Don’t be an asshole. But don’t be a doormat either.

I’m too damned old and tired to watch women being silenced with the same Be Kind mantra. I’ve seen the damage it does to women, individually and systemically.

Ah, cross posted with FemiLANGul

@FemiLANGul because 98% of violent crime committed by men is not the same thing at all as all men need telling to be kind?

Be kind is being used as a censorship and shut down duscussion. Trolling and personal abuse are disgusting, but intelligent, critical debate should not be shut down either.

Excellent observation. Saying "be kind" could actually be saying "back off and don't you dare criticise my actions".

Are those sharing this "be kind" stuff willing to be monitored and checked that they aren't being critical of anyone ? And that includes Donald Trump, Katie Hopkins, Prince Andrew and anyone not young and trendy?

Also agree that there is already enough stuff to silence women. I can imagine it already, women putting up with shit from partners and when they challenge it, being told "be kind

Exactly this

This thread has a 1000 and one reasons why we should all just carry on.

But wouldn't it be nice

if we responded online with the same politeness we would like to receive?

Sometimes gave an extra smile to a stranger?
Sat with someone at lunch, who normally sits alone?
Tried to not judge so harchly... the walking a mile in someone's shoes

We would all like others to treat us with emphaty, perhaps we should start with ourselves?

Meh..just don't be a dick.

@ElderAve Why cant we tell men to be kind as it is their sex that commits 98% of violence?

Why would any decent man feel offended by that?

Be nice, be kind, dont use facts because someone might be offended.

It’s all virtue signalling.

Arrh FemiLANGul 'dont use facts because someone might be offended.'

Was this really necessary, a nice way to respond?

According to the Telegraph:
One in 50 male offenders in prisons are self-identifying as transgender, according to a survey by the official jail watchdog...
There may be up to 1,500 transgender prisoners out of 90,000.

Madambee.

People are offended by facts. That in itself is indisputable. Women receive threats of violence and rape for daring to point out facts. Maybe you could let me know what the correct and proper approved nice and kind way to respond would be?

FemiLANGul instead of fighting with you, I wish you a positive and lovely day .

A lot of people on here saying your either kind or you aren't. I disagree, being kind is hard work. I am not actively mean to people, but I am probably unkind without realising it often, because I've not considered other people's points of view. Hence why if I posted this meme some people might secretly be thinking I'm a hypocrite.

I am overly critical and judgemental, part of that comes from the idea of myself as a kind or nice person. If I'm thinking I wouldn't do that I'm nice, it justifies me being bitchy and rude about someone else because I'm better than them (in my mind).

So yeah I think we need to all try to be kind where we can.

Like some other people have said, it's not an excuse to let people walk all over you though. Some people genuinely don't deserve kindness, but I think the best thing to do is just to not give them the time of day, rather than kicking them when they're down on social media etc.

Madambee thanks for proving my point.

You see what I say as a "fight" but I havent sworn or been offensive in anyway. All i have done is responded to someone else in a way you didnt approve of. You took it upon yourself to tell me off, and now think you are the kind one with your "I wish you a positive day" schtick.

Yes be kind. Of course it doesn't mean we shouldn't stick up for ourselves or question people's behaviour in real life or the celebrity world. But the vile hounding from the gutter press (The Sun ) posting the awful Valentine card of Caroline Flack was so out of order. How do we know this wasn't the final dig that led to her suicide?

I've read here on MN some awful posts relating to Meghan Markle. The posters proclaiming they know what this woman, who they have only met on their tv screens, newspapers or social media feels and how she controls her husband. They can't or choose not to see how our press influences opinions and so spout such hurtful comments. it may sound childish but it's a good message to just be kind.

"If you can be anything, be kind...."

Well, that'll be the end of the bearpit that's AIBU

I don’t understand ‘be kind’ in this context - what does it mean? Has it been ascertained that Caroline’s death was due to negative news stories or social media posts? What she was facing was a lot more complex than lack of kindness so why is this being named as the problem?

I don’t understand ‘be kind’ in this context - what does it mean?

It's a quote. People are quoting Caroline Flack. Caroline Flack said 'in a world where you can be anything, be kind'. And now she has taken her own life I think I understand why that has such meaning.

Nothing wrong with being kind, and thats to everyone.

When you are under attack, protecting yourself is the appropriate response, not 'kindness'

I'd assumed be kind wasnt only directed at women as it didn't say that.

I took it as be kind instead of being nasty. There's a lot of it on MN threads where posters will name-call others instead of simply challenging what they post, its completely unnecessary.

Being offensive about the person, instead of addressing what they are saying. Never helps.

It's a quote. People are quoting Caroline Flack. Caroline Flack said 'in a world where you can be anything, be kind'.

It's not a 'quote' from Caroline Flack FFS. It's what people have been flooding social media with since she died, it's a quote from Jennifer Dukes Lee (I don't know who she is).

I have a bit of a problem with people mindlessly posting this in the wake of her death a) without really knowing anything about the circumstances under which she came to take her own life and b) without thinking about what it means to 'be kind', who we are saying it to and whether 'being kind' at all costs actually is the best thing for a woman let's face it person to do.

I think, in the context of social media at least, that 'if you can't say something nice then just leave it' is a better thing to teach.

Sometimes I see negative comments on people's social media and I often think 'tbh I don't disagree with you but.... did you really have to put that out there for this person to see'? Some of the negative stuff people write is just unbelievable and I can't people they have actually taken the time to type it! It's just so pointless I don't get it.

But then on the other hand I think there is a fine line between calling someone out and being critical of their behaviour and needlessly trolling and sometimes to two get mixed. For example, some social media influencers will try and shut down any legitimate criticism of the way that they are running their business as 'hateful trolling' and will call for women 'to hold up other women' etc in order to deflect. And of course we have 'why can't you just be kind' thrown out there a lot to shut down any debate about women's rights versus trans rights.

It's not a 'quote' from Caroline Flack FFS. It's what people have been flooding social media with since she died, it's a quote from Jennifer Dukes Lee (I don't know who she is).

Sorry that's my mistake. Caroline Flack did post it. I didn't realise it wasn't her own quote. But the reason it's flooding social media is that people do think it's come directly from Caroline. Just as I did. My mistake.