If you can be anything, be kind....

[BeAnythingBeKind]

Its such a simple thing, and can make all the difference.

We are all guilty of it, me included, So instead of making negative comments about the work colleagues, fellow school mum's, stranger on the bus...Say something kind, you never know, it could just make all the difference. No-one really knows what people are going through.

Anyone who wants to vent/talk/cry....Please feel free to let rip here, It's OK not to feel OK

I think it’s a little simple to say to be kind, not everyone deserves kindness, women would never have been liberated if we were kind and asked nicely, we would still have slavery because slaves would be kind to their masters - ok they’re extremes, but the point is, the world isn’t kind so no one can be kind all the time without damaging themselves.

I think personally a better mantra is Don’t be an arsehole!

When dropping DD (4) at school I remind her to be kind to her friends/class. And I ask her on way home who she was kind to and what did she do that was kind. It reminds me to be kind also.

I reckon kindness to others completely separate from your familial circle/ tribe is not a genetic trait, it is taught/ environmental which is why we have the issues we have as an advanced animal race

I like being kind. I'm not always kind and I'm not a pushover but I am generally a polite, honest, friendly and kind person in real life. I think I get a better deal in life because of it. It's as much in MY interests to be a 'nice' person as anyone elses. People generally like me and I generally have an easy uncomplicated life.

I'm also not a pushover and won't blindly agree to things if I don't want to. I know it's important to be kind to myself too.

I appreciate all the little positive interactions I have throughout the day even if it's just a quick smile or conversation with a stranger.

I don't understand people who are always angry or who get a kick out of being nasty to other people.
You see posters like that on Mumsnet. I can't imagine what they get from going out their way to be nasty to other posters just for the sake of it. It's twisted, but you see it a lot. Even if I disagree with someone I try and do it in a reasonable way. You never know what's going on in someone's life and why they are behaving the way they are.

'Kindness' as a general concept doesn't seem especially relevant to this story to me. Surely a more accurate and more achievable message would be 'Don't write or share unpleasant character assassinations on social media' or 'Don't contribute to the repellent fiesta of anonymous mean-spiritedness that is the comments under Daily Heil 'articles'?

I like being kind. I'm not always kind and I'm not a pushover but I am generally a polite, honest, friendly and kind person in real life. I think I get a better deal in life because of it. It's as much in MY interests to be a 'nice' person as anyone elses. People generally like me and I generally have an easy uncomplicated life.
I'm also not a pushover and won't blindly agree to things if I don't want to. I know it's important to be kind to myself too.
I appreciate all the little positive interactions I have throughout the day even if it's just a quick smile or conversation with a stranger.
I don't understand people who are always angry or who get a kick out of being nasty to other people.

I wish I'd written this, it's how I aim to go through life as well. I don't always succeed but I try.

Oh! Thanks for telling me to be kind - I’d never have thought of that...🙄
Mumsnet is hardly the forum either...a more snarky bunch you couldn’t find if you paid!
Of course we’re all delightful in the real world.

I think in this world there are those that take and those who give. I'll be honest and say as much as I do try to be kind I don't feel it's often reciprocated (and yes I know it's not the point!) but today feeling massively unappreciated and taken advantage of-I'm a childminder and had a parent turn up an an hour late yesterday for collection and half an hour early this morning. No sorry or please thank you etc 🤷🏻‍♀️

What about being kind clashes with your own personal sense of right and wrong?when people are stating as fact stuff you know to be untrue which could have implications for you and others? Smile and nod to be kind to the individual or stand up for yourself and other therefore 'being kind' to them?

“@Sadie789 - I think most decent people already know to be nice to other people in their day to day dealings, and don’t need a thousand sanctimonious memes thrown their way to be reminded.

And I think the kind of people who are nasty trolls on social media are always going to be nasty trolls and no amount of sanctimonious memeing is going to change that.

I also don’t believe one thing propels a person to take such drastic action as to take their own lives, it’s a perfect storm which has generally been brewing for a long, long time and is made up of many complex elements. So I think it’s simplistic to believe that someone being kind is going to change the course of that particular ocean going liner... not to say we shouldn’t be kind, but just that it’s not really about being kind in the end.”

This

It’s a really facile phrase which is being bandied around like it’s the meaning of life. Life is complex and messy and so are people. Most people are decent, some aren’t, almost all are a mix of the two.

Be kind.

But take responsibility for your own actions when you are not.

I am particularly livid about how Saint Bloody Woman is being treated in the press now.
I have a friend who refrained from contacting the police about his wife battering him because he thought he would not be believed.
He was believe when it came to light but it went on for far longer than it should have done and the compulsory separation ensured he is still alive to look after his child.

If he'd been a man, how different would the media be now?

Domestic violence is DV whether it's M2F or F2M.

I've known four people who've been the victim of DV and the numbers are split 50:50 as to who was the attacker.

YANBU but this is MN: the one place women come to judge and bitch at and about other women so sadly this will never fly here.

icecreamscoops post your own meme "be authentic, be kind". With narcissistic people you're never going to win. Ignore them.

We all have bad days and weak moments, but we're talking about people who are consistently mean-spirited, thoughtless, put other people down, they are dismissive, criticise or are negative about the achievements of others, sarcastic, bitchy or snarky; they are usually really insecure so take down others to make themselves feel important.

We all know, work, study, socialise, grew up with or are related to them, we give them likes on social media, they're here on MN, they can include ourselves...it's got to stop. Children do what they see, if we want a kinder society we have to change our behaviour. Politely tell someone when you feel they are being unkind (people disagreeing with you is not being unkind though, it's just a difference of opinion). We all need to remember, it we cant be kind....be quiet.

100% agree. I talk to random people all the time, young, old, middle aged. I smile as much as possible and help people where and when I can.

I don't expect anything in return. I just say "pay it forward". If we all said a nice thing to one person every day the world would be a brighter place.

Start with your kids and partner and build from there.

Also be kind to you as well. You are important and self care is much needed.

Mumda. Reread your post. At the top you say "be kind". Then you refer to "Saint Bloody Woman". That's really unkind. Nobody is advocating tolerating DV, but "saint bloody woman" is someone's daughter, sister, friend (one of my relatives is a friend of hers). And clearly she had issues with her mental health, which resulted in her death. Take a minute to check yourself.

I don't get it. Yes I'm kind. But is this in relation to suicides? Caroline Flack wouldn't have killed herself if people had been kind?

So my friend wouldn't have killed herself if I'd been kinder? Wasn't I kind enough? Where the medical interventions didn't work, all she needed was kindness? No of course not because she was clearly suffering terribly with her mental health.

Is that what it means?

I agree with being kind. Kindness doesn't mean being a doormat. It just means trying to make things better, rather than worse, for other people. I do think that the fact that we are nowadays so often communicating with people at a distance, and by very rapid methods, can make it easier to be unkind: you don't see the victim in front of you, or their expression; and you don't have time to reflect on your message. If you had to write a letter and post it, you might think better and decide not to, once you were half-way through. If you phoned someone, you would hear the distress in their voice. With modern social media (which has lots of advantages as well, and can reduce loneliness for an isolated person), it's easy just to join in a pile-on and forget that you're attacking a real human being.

I’m not blowing my own trumpet but I think I’m a fairly kind person, I just find it far easier to be kind than nasty, if I am ever nasty within moments I have a horrible sense of guilt

We’ve recently, within the last 18 months moved and we were out drinking with our new neighbours a few Saturdays back and one of them said he’d observed me and he could tell by my actions that I was a thoroughly decent person. I asked him what he meant and he said he saw me pull out of the drive and it was bin collection day and I noticed a neighbour’s bin was overflowing, I simply stopped the car and transferred the overflow rubbish into our half empty bin, thought nothing of it as it’s just something I’d do.

He said that showed what kind of person I was as didn’t know anyone else that would do something like that, I was well chuffed

I will always try to help anyone, my wife says I’m far too kind and people take advantage of that but that’s just me. Can’t help it.

I think there is a difference between being kind and being a push over.
For example the word NO as a complete sentence is neither kind or unkind.
"No...im sorry i can't help you right now ...i'm busy...perhaps another time" = fine
" Fuck off you $#@@@!% " = unkind.

I try to be as kind as I can. You just never know what someone is feeling inside. When we are feeling bad, sometimes how we behave can be off. So yes I try and be nice even when someone is being an ass.
I struggle massively with self esteem and gave social anxiety. Only a few close friends know this. To the outside world I appear very confident, just become good as faking it, I suppose. My brother attempted suicide, it was a huge shock, he appeared happy and ‘together’,
Sometimes you just never know, so yes I try to be nice to everyone, as much as I can.

Be available, be persistent and be kind. I suffered badly with depression after my husband was seriously ill. Never felt so alone. People were kind if they saw me by chance but never followed up on the ‘we should get a coffee’ lines if I couldn’t make it at a time to suit them (despite young DC). I ended up in a very dark place with suicidal thoughts. It was my husband’s medical team that spotted it and intervened. Took a few years to get back to anywhere near myself, still not there fully. I couldn’t ask for help as I needed to keep going for the DC but no one engaged me enough to see the decline. Don’t give up on people you care about (unless their idiots) if they might be struggling. Now make sure I at least text friends who are having tough times regularly so they know the door is open and I am available

I think in recent years it has been seen as " cool" to say it how it is online. There is plenty of unkindness on mn aswell as some very sensible support.

I think some of those advocating "be kind" are saying "no criticism". I am not on Twitter and have never posted mean things at a celebrity. Couldn't be bothered, frankly. But celebrity is an odd world. You have to have a very thick skin to take career dives, intrusion and, yes, criticism. With the very good comes the very bad.

I was watching the Taylor Swift documentary and she is grumbling about intrusion. Look, mate, I can see it's a pain, but if you have a public persona (ie social media, tweeting) then don't expect people not to be interested in your personal life. There are many pop stars/actors who sail under the radar; they don't live a public life and consequently the public aren't that interested in them.

Don't be an arsehole is a great mantra. There's a thread on here at the moment with a mum who's not enjoying entertaining her 4 year old at home this holidays. She's getting her arse handed to her because she should be #blessed and out splashing in muddy puddles and 'why did she have kids in the first place'! Annoys me because likely some of the same posters probably post about how dreadful it is to hear about suicides etc and 'just be kind' etc - then will happily weigh in on sticking the boot into some stranger!

@IrmaFayLear That’s seriously what you got from that documentary?
Not the fact that she was having hideous things said to her everyday by strangers and even other famous people ?