To ask for the question you always get asked, when the person saying it thinks they're the first person to say it.

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Light-hearted.

Examples. As a teen I worked in a shop, sometimes something doesn't scan and the customer (if paying attention) without fail would say, "Oh, that's free then?" Followed by a chuckle.

I wear very high heels a lot, I get told all the time, "How you don't break your neck in those, I'll never know!"

The latest one, my DP is a head chef, people always say, "Oooh, I bet you get loads of lovely meals cooked for you!" I bloody wish, it's a Busman's Holiday for him, he doesn't want to cook after a day in the kitchen. 😆

FuckThisWind Oh yes, the amazing arthritis cures that work wonders, even though industrial strength pain killers barely touch it!
Also, how are your knees? Are they getting better? Er no, I have severe osteoarthritis.
The pp who was a nurse, yes, I wish I had a £1 for every time I heard those answers when asking about allergies.
Also, I pay your wages you know! Oh really? I’ve got your address and I’ll be round on Friday to pick them up!

@BoredOfTheBoard feel your pain. I'm vegan, I don't announce it, but others always pick up on what you order and want to start a debate.

I can't be arsed, there's a time and place and I just want to eat my fucking dinner in relative peace.

Any relation to the murderer?

(Because of my name.)

I'm deaf and sometimes (a lot of the time) people will say "what?" when I've explained to them that I'm sorry but could they repeat what they have said as I am deaf/hard of hearing. They think they're funny but they're not and if I'm completely honest there are times when I have been quite upset about it. Now I just look at them blank and silent and do my best to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible. When I was younger and much more worried about upsetting someone I would laugh with them, but now it just pisses me off!
It's neither funny nor original and is something I and probably most deaf/heard of hearing people have heard before, a lot.

I have very little time for people who mock disabilities, especially in the name of a 'joke'. Nasty fuckers!

I also use to get a lot of "Oh wow what size bra are you" (fucking huge to be fair) but I haven't had that in a very long time. It's fucking rude though, I mean who thinks that a good thing to ask anyone!

When customers see my name badge "Ohh like the amazon thing"

"Alexa play some music"

"Alexa what's the weather"

🙄

When I take all 3 of my kids out together

"You're very busy"
"You've got your hands full"
"You look like you need an extra set of hands"
"I hope you're done now."

Better than being touched by strangers when I was pregnant at least

@FaFoutis like you’d want to tell them if you were!

I get asked whether I’m any relation of a certain famous comedian. With a very common surname

@FaFoutis omg hahaha. Thats a weird one lol

During my law degree, whenever I told someone that's what I was studying, they'd chuckle and say "I know who to go to if I get arrested/ get into trouble then!". Gets very tiring after hearing that dozens of times, especially as I was going into conveyancing and had zero interest in criminal law. Usually said by people who are so dull and straight-laced that I would genuinely be gobsmacked to learn they had been arrested for any crime.

"What happened to you then?"

I'm a wheelchair user. MY GENES. MY GENES HAPPENED TO ME.

Used to screen men for abdominal aortic aneurysms using an ultrasound.

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

Every. Single. Time.🙄 And they all thought they were so amusing and original😂

Oi - you look like that Scarlit Yo'ansen!!

usually male and on the piss and very very pleased with themselves to be the first to say it.

When my two boisterous boys were younger people would watch them charging around the park, and some bright spark would always comment " I bet they'll sleep well tonight ".

Oooh just add another 0 on will you (chuckle).....I work in HR, and frankly having heard this about a million times in my career it now makes me muderous,

My dd is autistic so i get

• where abouts is she on the spectrum (its not a linear spectrum)
• she doesn't look autistic (wtf)
• everyones a bit autistic (no they're not)

I’m Swedish. If I ever mention that it’s cold or that I feel cold....

“You should be used to this...he he he”

Eh, no, it doesn’t work like that...

A few times I have been told "what was the point of you getting married" because I had committed the offence of not changing my surname.

Plenty of reasons... but I can't be bothered to justify my marriage to ignorant arseholes.

On hearing I have a parent from another county and spent large parts of my childhood in that country:

So do you speak "language" then?

Er, yes.

I’m hardly Miss Manners but I find this so shocking. and then when I complain
(to family etc) I'm told I shouldn't be annoyed cos they're showing an interest! Erm no cos there's nothing wrong with him, he just has a few extra tubes than most kids

Any relation to the murderer?

I'd be so tempted to say "yes, she/he was my mother/father. Apparently she/he had a heriditary condition which makes murder of irritating people more likely"

My job involves explaining rules of various games to contestants (as a result of which they may win money) at the end of which I ask if they have any questions.

“Can you just arrange for me to win?”

Every. Single. Time.

Are they identical?

I have boy/girl. They are clearly not identical.

I politely explain that no they are a boy and a girl (they are 3 so not like tiny newborns) and many people still ask "yes but are they identical?" 🙄

I am also regularly asked if there are twins in my family (no) and then asked if it was a surprise when we found out.

If older dd is with us too I get told I have my hands full. Generally people are just trying to be nice when they say this so I just smile and nod along.

You need to get out & about more, will make you feel better. You don't really walk like that do you? No wonder you are always ill, the amount of medication you take won't help.

I'm disabled, suffer from ME, Fibromyalgia, Arthritis & was born with a dislocated hip, all the above were said to me by an assessor who was supposedly a fully trained nurse when she assessed me for disability benefits, I'm housebound & in bed most of the time.

I get thisevery day I am out the house from at least one person.
"Is your hair naturally that colour?"
Followed by (when I answer yes):
"It's beautiful, you can't get that from a bottle at the hairdressers"
Why ask then, just why?

"Why do you live HERE?!"

(I grew up in California)