To ask for the question you always get asked, when the person saying it thinks they're the first person to say it.

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Light-hearted.

Examples. As a teen I worked in a shop, sometimes something doesn't scan and the customer (if paying attention) without fail would say, "Oh, that's free then?" Followed by a chuckle.

I wear very high heels a lot, I get told all the time, "How you don't break your neck in those, I'll never know!"

The latest one, my DP is a head chef, people always say, "Oooh, I bet you get loads of lovely meals cooked for you!" I bloody wish, it's a Busman's Holiday for him, he doesn't want to cook after a day in the kitchen. 😆

@Thumbcat what is it with the shorts though?

My postie wears them all year round. I also nearly fell over when I found out he was in his 60s, he looks late 40s!

I have twins - boy/girl. OMG the number of idiots who asked "are they identical?"

My profession is one which allows people to judge me for not meeting the standards of what I do -so they say "oh that's ironic", all the damn time - like a dentist with bad teeth, a phlebotomist who is scared of needles, a music producer who can't sing

Carrying child’s scooter home from school after drop off “ooh you’re a bit big for that love!” Every fucking day 😂🙈

@GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery
Always. “Can I borrow your handcuffs love?” “Bet you’re a bit kinky aren’t you?!”.

Police issue handcuffs are bloody uncomfortable and not made for fun!

"Nice pussy"

I walk my cat.

“Are you from London?” It’s what just about every British person living here in the USA gets asked daily.

I also get “I love your accent” every bloody day. It’s very awkward because what do you say to that?

I teach psychology.

Can you read my mind?

‘Say something in French’ (because I speak French). Umm, what would you like me to say, exactly? And what’s the point if you don’t understand it anyway?

When taking my two boisterous rescue dogs through our village when doing their training at times they used to pull a bit. If I ever heard "Are they taking you for a walk?" one more time. I just started to ignore people. My reserves of strength for idiotic comments are minimal as I have to be patient and tolerant in my job. Better say nothing than to be horrible. 🙄

Where are the other 100?

My name can be associated with a Christmas carol. Every. Year.
It's not so much the stating of the bleeding obvious, as the silly grin telling you that they think they are being stunningly original, which grates.
As I'm also tall, I get the "What's the weather like up there?" as well.
If I can be bothered, my riposte is, "There's nothing like a bit of original wit - and that was nothing like a bit of original wit" but I usually try to let it pass.

Our children are redheads and we are dark haired. ‘Are you sure they are yours ?’ With a tinkly laugh To Dh.

Nurse here
"any allergies?"

"hospitals, needles or the wife" followed by a chortle.

I have twins - boy/girl. OMG the number of idiots who asked "are they identical?"

Well, until I asked someone the same thing, I had no idea that identical twins were only same sex. If you've never had children or been around twins, it's not as "idiotic" as you think to ask a perfectly reasonable-sounding question.

I used to deliver car parts. Carrying tyres: "Oooh are you tyred?" or exhausts: "You look exhausted!" Every. Single. Time.

I work for the council

'I pay your wages you know '

Fuck the fuck off

Out for a meal meeting a new partner of a close relative. "Why are you u just having baked potato and beans, are you on a diet?" ( I should add at that point in time beans and baked potato or salad and chips were generally the only options available to me). Me "no, I'm vegan" relatives partner " did the potato not feel terrible pain as it was hauled out of the ground?"

Yes, hilarious I'm sure . Worst thing was, I had to do a kind of fake laugh as I didnt know what to say.

‘ Well, until I asked someone the same thing, I had no idea that identical twins were only same sex. If you've never had children or been around twins, it's not as "idiotic" hmm as you think to ask a perfectly reasonable-sounding question.’

It’s nothing to do with the children themselves.
It’s science.

Identical means the same, how can you be identical when you have different sex organs?

Of course it’s a silly question.
Don’t get offended by that. We all ask them.

@BuzzShitbagBobbly which bits of boys and girls do you think are identical?

Pub trade.

Someone drops a glass.
''Saves on washing up''/''Didn't you want that one?''

also handing over the exact money and saying ''Keep the change''.

When washing, cleaning, or painting anything you are guaranteed to get some twat saying ''you missed a bit''.

@BuzzShitbagBobbly but the clue is in the name - identical. You can’t be identical if you have totally different genitalia for a start. Even if you don’t know how identical twins are biologically made sure it’s only basic common sense to know that a male and a female can never be identical?

Oh, are you left handed?

Yes. You wouldn't believe how often people ask this when seeing me writing with a pen in my left hand.

"Are you Dutch?"
This is what you get asked if you are a Brit living in Germany with a good grasp of German.

‘Say something in French’ (because I speak French). Umm, what would you like me to say, exactly?
I always ask exactly that, in the language in question. :)

“What’s the weather like up there”.

I’m tall.

Snap! 🙄

“Are you left handed then?”

after watching me write...with my left hand...