To ask for the question you always get asked, when the person saying it thinks they're the first person to say it.

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Light-hearted.

Examples. As a teen I worked in a shop, sometimes something doesn't scan and the customer (if paying attention) without fail would say, "Oh, that's free then?" Followed by a chuckle.

I wear very high heels a lot, I get told all the time, "How you don't break your neck in those, I'll never know!"

The latest one, my DP is a head chef, people always say, "Oooh, I bet you get loads of lovely meals cooked for you!" I bloody wish, it's a Busman's Holiday for him, he doesn't want to cook after a day in the kitchen. 😆

Do you have asthma? Where’s your inhaler?

When I disclose that I have a breathing difficulty that is NOT asthma!!

My birthday is Christmas Day.

Cue the question: "Does that mean you get double presents?"

Cue world's biggest eyeroll from me.

I'm sure the identical different sex baby thing is about their faces being identical

“But you don’t have a Scottish accent!”

I get this every time I have to explain that my family live in Scotland and that i was brought up there too. My parents and siblings are not Scottish, so I never really picked up the accent. Makes me feel incredibly self conscious and like I’m lying about my upbringing.

What you got in there? (points to bass guitar case).

Oh, I don't know - machine guns? Bazooka? Ukulele? The folded up corpse of the last bloke who asked me that stupid arse question as a way to monopolise my attention and tell me at great length all about some immensely famous bassist my vagina stops me knowing anything about . If I'm feeling particularly venomous, once told about somebody as obscure as Paul McCartney (and DID YOU KNOW HE WAS LEFT HANDED), I'll start talking classical musical theory or the specifics and comparative advantages of active and passive bass pickups and their impact upon recording studio settings for a Mackie 24/8 console with a Motu 2048 Mk3 interface. They generally fade away at that point.

The decrepit old boy who asked 'Ricky or T-Bird?' got a free pass, though.

Oh, are you left handed?

I've had this too. I can write pretty well with both hands, so sometimes if I'm writing with my left hand and get this question, I like to just stare at the person without saying anything and switch to my right hand. It can throw them off quite a bit.

@AlexCrowe84 ... I’m married to a cop ... the number of times people have stated ( not asked and often first time I /we have just met them ) “he must put you in handcuffs regularly “ and add a ( non original wink 😉) is ridiculous... .... really ?!?!

@crispysausagerolls Are you Mary Contrary? 😁

@crispysausagerolls

My name has a nursery rhyme connected to it

Me too!! It’s even worse now I’m not a young child

I'm another Brit living in the US. I get asked every day where I'm from or told they love my accent.

I also have a name associated with Christmas, and get the same jokes every year. I was born in May. Thanks mum and dad.

My husband is a twin "eeeh do you ever kiss the wrong one?"

I'm an early years teacher "must be nice to just play all day and not actually work".

‘Three boys? You trying again for a girl?’

No. If I ever had another child it would because I wanted another child. Not because I want a girl.

"Don't psycholanalyse me hur hur" (I'm a body language specialist) - don't worry love, you're the type of book that's written in large print with one word per page

“Wow you’re tall, hows the weather up there” as if I wasn’t aware I’m tall. It’s so so dumb

Currently pregnant with my second and my bump has been huge since 9 weeks.
"Are you sure theres only one in there ha ha" or "have you got your dates right?"
As if a scan wouldn't have a picked up on either of those. Or the best "my daughter/sister/next door neighbours 3rd cousin didn't even show until 7 month gone"

Thanks, really helping me feel good here.

I'm a forensics student.

'Ooh better be nice to you then, you'll know how to make it look like an accident'

Oh, and because I studied psychology I get “can you read my mind???”
No love, that’s telepathy not psychology.
Usually I just say yes now just to freak them out

Are you related to so and so?

my surname is smith

@CherryPavlova I used to get that too, and I'm sure I'll get it again when I get my next one. I've always had Livers and have been asked if they go black when they go in the sun!

why on earth did you decide to live here? said to me for the last 26 years that I have lived in England , originally from New Zealand. Contrary to popular belief NZ is not Utopia!

I'm deaf and sometimes (a lot of the time) people will say "what?" when I've explained to them that I'm sorry but could they repeat what they have said as I am deaf/hard of hearing. They think they're funny but they're not and if I'm completely honest there are times when I have been quite upset about it. Now I just look at them blank and silent and do my best to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible.

I'm partly deaf and do the same. A hard stare and silence works in many situations.

As if a scan wouldn't have a picked up on either of those* erm my 7 week scan showed one... (cuddles 8 wk old twins)

When I tell someone I'm Jewish and they ask "Oh, are you rich?"

No, I'm not you fucking anti-Semite.

“Do you work here?”
No I’m clearly wearing this uniform for fun 🤷🏼‍♀️ 😩

DP is blind and is constantly told in no uncertain terms that it means his other senses will be better now which is a load of tosh just that he has learned to use them better thats all. Also treating him like a child is really really irritating to not only him but me and his 2 sons as well!