To ask for the question you always get asked, when the person saying it thinks they're the first person to say it.

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Light-hearted.

Examples. As a teen I worked in a shop, sometimes something doesn't scan and the customer (if paying attention) without fail would say, "Oh, that's free then?" Followed by a chuckle.

I wear very high heels a lot, I get told all the time, "How you don't break your neck in those, I'll never know!"

The latest one, my DP is a head chef, people always say, "Oooh, I bet you get loads of lovely meals cooked for you!" I bloody wish, it's a Busman's Holiday for him, he doesn't want to cook after a day in the kitchen. 😆

@bigchris I get this too! NHS.

I remind them that by their own logic I pay my own sodding wages!!

@Cookiecrumble888 my GP and the specialist both said it was vital for me to consume more Vitamin C for my long term anaemia because Vit C increases the absorption of Iron. It’s not to do with being Vit C deficient, more that Iron is notoriously difficult to absorb.

You'll change your mind about having children when you meet the right man. Aarrrgggghhhh!

when I'm walking the dogs - "I see he's brought his dinner with him"

I have a very big dog and a very small dog

I blame it on all the films etc. in which you have a twin girl and boy played by the same actor, where the girl dresses as her brother and is mistaken for him as they look "exactly the same". Blame it on Shakespeare.

@FakeFraudSquad yeah I know I take it with orange juice. Also spatone contains vitamin c. Sorry I meant it as though people presume you've not looked into ways to help make you better x

As a former barmaid I used to get a ridiculous number of lame innuendo drink requests

DS1 had terrible eczema as a baby. We had, obviously, tried everything.

The amount of people who wanted to impart their miracle cure, now what was it? Um ash Oh, yes their grandchild had awful eczema too and their daughter in law went to one Doctor and he said this, but if didn't work, and then went private and the private doctor said that but it didn't work, then eventually someone suggested this stuff and it was a MIRACLE . . . called oilatum; you just put a capful in the bath and it cures it!! Yeah thanks we tried oilatum 6 months ago and it does nothing for eczema this bad.

Still they were just trying to help!

But I blessed the lady who worked with DH who just bought a tub of whatever magic cream it was and gave it to us without comment. (Didn't work though. )

Definitely familiar with the "oh, it must be free then" when something doesn't scan first time.
My exh did this every time, for the entire 20 years we were together.
I did wonder if it was annoying 😂

It’s just general knowledge isn’t it to know that mixed gender twins aren’t identical

I'd just never thought about the meaning of it in any detail till I asked the question. It was more "instant" small talk when someone said they were a twin.

And for all those not-so-veiled little digs pp are making to me about recognising male and female genitalia, suggest you advance search me in time-honoured MN fashion to see my opinions on that. Unless of course you can't bear to visit the horrid nest of terfs feminism board

Do the curtains match the rug?

I have been blonde since birth.

Yesterday....."you're smiling, that's good that you're finding it easier to deal with your Dad dying" He's not been dead a week.

Words failed me. I glared and walked off.

“Have you thought about adoption?” when I tell people I can’t have children

The urge to say “wait what? Adoption you say? What is this fangled thing of which you speak that I will never have heard of
?’

I don’t of course.....

Oh yes, and another one... Ooh. I take Turmeric for my imagined and undiagnosed arthritis. It works wonders!!
Yeah well guess what? High strength painkillers don't help me. So aren't you fucking lucky? (When you post pics on social media of you doing zumba and climbing mountains, when I can barely get out of bed)

Not so much now he's a little older but as a result we were constantly asked by random strangers what was wrong with our son. I'm sure they didn't think they were original but it might occur to more people to not ask such rude questions

Oh, are you left handed?

See also: “You’re left handed!”

I’ve made a few stupid comments in my time of course, but nothing as bloody obvious.

Either
"Should you be eating that?"
Or
"Shouldn't you eat something?"

Most bloody days. I have Type 1 diabetes.
A lot of the time it's from people who I have already tried to educate as they've said it 25 times already but they still know better apparently.
Silly really, insulin being a lethal substances and all ......

Ask me one more time mate and I'll stab your arse with my insulin pen

@GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery yes I get the "you look Irish" comments too. (I know I look Irish!)

It goes onto cures for children that don't behave. On the phone to my mum trying to have a conversation and my daughter decides to start whinging and moaning at me. Desperate to have a conversation I try and just ignore her and carry on, only for my mum to say you want to get her squared up, do you want to be telling her off when she does this. I feel like saying yes mum and I do Square her up and tell her off when I'm not on the phone but sometimes I don't want to scream down the phone into somebody else's ear and let her interrupt the conversation five times.

Not sure if this is of subject. But why is it when people see a snippet of your life they become experts! Wow your child was mardy once. She needs to be taught to behave.

'I bet you wish you played the flute!'

I play the cello, I get around 3 to 5 these every day on my train commute to orchestra rehearsals. OR
'can you play that?' no. I just carry a 2 stone pack on my back all day for no reason. This is mainly men. Older men who think they're the only ones who know anything about classical music because they listen to classic fm. 'can you play the Elgar cello concerto?' as though I'm supposed to be impressed by their knowledge of this INCREDIBLY FAMOUS PIECE OF MUSIC. I exhausted, I am carrying this huge thing while also suffering from an auto immune disease. If you're not offering me your seat (which has never ever ever happened by the way) then please leave me alone.

we were constantly asked by random strangers what was wrong with our son

I’m hardly Miss Manners but I find this so shocking.

I have two friends who have obvious facial differences (I don’t want to say ‘abnormalities’, it sounds horrible). One has told me about hers a few times and how it has/hasn’t affected her. The other has never mentioned it and I’ve never asked. None of my business.

Was that a mistake/ you're mad to start again at your age/ do they have different dads?

(My children are 10 years apart and I've had the same partner for nearly 25 years.)

Is it natural?
How do you get it to stay like that?

I have curly hair.

‘What’s the point of your life then?’

Because I haven’t got children.

My mum also tells me I choose the wrong age gap for my kids. 2 years and 10 months. Should of been closer or further apart apparently!