Friends comments about DH and I

[richele4]

Been with DH 20 years, I'm 35. Met him in Secondary school, along with my friend 'Lucy'. Lucy's always been close with DH and I, when we had DD1 at 17 I was with her when my waters broke and she was in the delivery room with me when I had DD. Married DH at 23 and Lucy was my maid of honour. I was maid of honour at both of her weddings. Had 2DS and Lucy is godmother to both. Just to give insight into how close and long our friendship is.

Today I told Lucy that I'm pregnant with DD2 and she was excited as she's also pregnant with her DH who she's been with for 4 years. However she made comments and I just want to know if IABU to be upset/pissed off or who to be upset/pissed off at.

• "I'm always surprised that you and DH are still together, he's probably starting to get bored of the same old thing"
• "You better watch your weight gain this pregnancy, like I have been, you already look bigger than the first 3 pregnancies and you don't want your DH's eye wandering any more than it already will be"
• "It's impressive that after this long he still wants to have sex with you. It's got to be quite boring for him now"
• "He's looking good for his age, I'm sure younger women are interested in him, you should be careful"

I just awkwardly laughed them off but I am a bit upset that my friend of 20 years would say these things. I haven't told DH. I've never said anything to Lucy that would suggest DH and I are 'bored' because I definitely don't feel that way. Do you think my DH could have said something to Lucy's DH (because they are friends and he regularly goes out with her DH) and Lucy's DH could have said it to Lucy and that's why she's saying it to me? I'm not sure what to think

She fancies him, or she’s jealous of your enduring relationship with your husband. If she has a wondering eye or gets bored easily she may genuinely not understand how the attraction between you has lasted this long but in that case why not ask you from a place of genuine interest if you get bored, or still want to have sex with your husband. It’s like she’s trying to make you insecure.

She’s the kind of woman who gives women a bad name and is not your friend. She feels like she’s in a competition with you.

I did consider that she could be annoyed that the attention isn't all on her during her pregnancy, she is the type of person that loves the centre of attention.

I told DH the situation and suggested that she may be into him, he said he would start carrying a cream pie with him in case she tried anything🤣Bloody love this man

How sad for her to think a man will only be with a woman for her looks. She has obviously never had the sort of secure relationship where you absolutely know you have let yourself go a bit and are looking a bit rough but your lovely husband still wants to jump your bones.

Never mind about brutally honest, she’s being brutal.

I would take a very, very long step back from her.

She’s a cow and these things are not what a friend says. It sounds like she knows something you don’t tbh

If she’s your best friend ask her out right what she means.

“ Lucy a few comments you said have stuck in my mind - such as A,B,C...what di you mean about them? Are you trying to say dh has a wandering eye?’

There is obviously an issue there.

Sounds like she’s jealous and/or projecting. I think she’s worried about HER weight gain and HER husband’s wandering eye and is trying to push her insecurities onto you. She’s definitely not a friend.

Given the relationship history (was it her wandering eye, or his?), Ithink it's either her own insecurities showing, or she does have her eye on your DH.

Either way, jealousy is at the root of the comments, she wants what you have.

#ditchthebitch #ditchLucy

Lucy sounds insecure and hormonal. She’s been a friend for 20 years. Personally I’d observe her from a bit more distance and see how this pans out.

Well you could always say, yes, we do seem to be more successful at marriage than you, dear.

My parents have been married over half a century and known each other since they were in primary school. Still not bored. And for what it’s worth I don’t believe for a second she knows something you don’t- that is exactly what she is doing, planting a seed of doubt. Not what friendship is about.

She is a bitch, you don’t have a friend, you have a frenemy! I would try to disengage from her as much as possible.

Fuck Leery Lucy with spiky clown shoes which been dipped in fox poo and set on fire.

She is jealous and trying to make you feel like crap by planting little shitty seeds into your mind.

I bet she is regretting some life choices and hates the fact you and hubby are both happy and content together.

Plus all the baby attention is now not on her as you have stolen her limelight you selfish pregnant minx you! How very dare you and your hawt hubby have sexy time and make little mini mes!!!

As she has a wandering eye I recommend stepping on it as it rolls around the floor in the general direction of your husband.

May I also suggest your hubby keeps a can of squirty cream and pre- made pie bases on his person at all time. You can get them from Tesco.

Maybe also keep a can in your bag so the next time she opens her mouth and says something horrible you can aim the cream into her gapping maw whilst shouting "Swallow the cream of comment shame!!"

Prepare for more digs to come your way about your weight/ looks/ appearance.

I have a feeling Leery Lucy thinks you have to keep yourself looking hawt whilst pregnant or husbands will go wandering looking for young milk maids etc. Perhaps her hubby isn't finding her so lovely at the moment... mmmmm...

like your husbands answer sounds to me like your "friend" was way off the mark - I wonder if her dh has been making her feel insecure? No one knows what goes on inside families& relationships.

What a nasty cunt, get rid of her

If yous are that good of friends why didn’t you say “what the fuck are you on about Lucy?????????????”

She’s very insecure

People ONLY make bitchy comments when you have something they want....

Been there. Done that. People only do it for that reason.

Did he laugh off her assessment oh how he must be feeling. Maybe she's miffed as you're having a fourth child and she's only on her first and yet still can't get to feel special in your little group ! She probably didn't see that coming or disapproves of larger families/state of the planet etc etc. Could be several things, most worrying would be if she was repeating something she'd heard but your Dh's response to what she said should tell you whether it's that or not.

Thanks everyone. Reading your comments has made me change the way I see some of her comments over the years, I had previously brushed them off as 'brutally honest' but thinking about it, they were bitchy.

Will be taking a step back from her and buying some whipped cream for DH

so shes been doing this for years? shes not a good friend-ive known my bf for 30 years and she has never eommented on my weight or how bored my husband must be with me more like how do i put up with him just kidding

Has Lucy ever said anything like this before or is known for being upfront and bit rude sometimes? Or is this out of character?

This isn’t brutal honesty. It’s her being a bitch. There also seems to be a certain flavour to her comments which make me thinks she is jealous of your relationship and / or she has a thing for your husband

Usually when people say things like this it is more to do with how they feel than anyone else.

It sounds like husband no.3 is likely to wander if she doesn’t keep herself in a certain way.

She's ferling insecure herself so trying to make you feel the same way. I haven't experienced this myself but sadly DH has friends that like to poke holes in other people's lives when they are going through low points in theirs. She is no friend of yours.