AWBU to not let them sleep in our bed?

[12mealsaday]

Parents are visiting for 2 nights to help with childcare for one day today. We are very grateful.

We have spare bedroom with double bed but there's only one way in and out of it as bed is against walls (can't be moved and we've just bought so moving in 6 weeks where this problem will solve itself).

Parents don't want to sleep in it because go to loo couple of times in night and Mum (63) says she's not nimble enough to climb over Dad to go to toilet. She ended up sleeping last couple of hours on sofa 😔

Every time they visit they want to and get upset if they can't take mine and DH's bed (also awkward, have to shuffle down bed to get out but not climb over).

DH thinks it's weird having them sleep in our bed. His parents don't do it and they are similar age, they use plastic bottle to wee (our loo is downstairs) and they're happy with that (have offered them our bed same as I used to offer it to parents before DH put his foot down and they refused).

I've suggested they stay in hotel, it does work out easier to be honest if they do, but they want to stay with us. House is small and it doesn't help that my parents don't respect boundaries so generally can piss DH off.

Is there some unwritten curtesy I haven't heard of that people can't sleep in your marital bed? Is DH BU by putting his foot down and making them sleep in spare room? I would like to give them our room tonight as don't want Mum on sofa.

If my husband decided to just simply say in front of me that his parents were sleeping in my bed, he’d be told to fuck off.

It’s my bed, in my bedroom, in my house. He owouldbt just get to simply decide that’s what was going to happen, just like you don’t.

I’m with your husband on this one.

Good grief. Your husband wants your parents - who are, by the way, coming to do you a favour - to pee into plastic bottles because he doesn’t want to give up his bed?!

What a horrible man.

BiscuitBarrels her husband doesn't expect that at all. It is his parents who pee in a bottle and they don't even want his bed.

I think it would be easier for everyone if you gave up your bed for a couple of nights. I don’t see it as weird.

If you suggested a hotel, whilst they're coming to care for your child(ren) are you expecting themto pay?

I would happily stay in a hotel after travelling to care for my grandchildren, would be seen as a treat.
If you're expecting them to pay, you're suggestion is outrageous, cheeky and rude!
Change to fresh bedding and let them out of courtesy and gratefulness sleep in your bed. They've explained quite reasonably the reason why they struggle in the spare room.

Why would you not have agreed in an instant?

No-one else would sleep in my bed. (Other than the kids when they were small.)
I'm with your husband.

Pay for a hotel for them?

I’m with your husband on this one. I wouldn’t give up my bed for nobody I find it really odd. I would however offer to pay for a hotel or B&B for them as they’re doing you a favour.

The fact that you're okay with your in laws pissing in a bottle in your house and not let someone sleep in your bed is just weird. You can change bed sheets between guests...

I can’t get past the wee in bottles.
Horrific

I wouldn’t really like to give up my bed, surely your mother could sleep the other side of the spare bed, with your father. The set up for your bed doesn't sound ideal for either.

Don’t have anyone babysit again in this house.

Bottles .
Eww.

Sleeping arrangements aren't ideal, whatever. But brewing up a bottle of truck driver's Tizer in the spare bedroom is so far from the norm I can't believe this hasn't stopped you ever inviting anyone into your home again. I'd be mortified if my guests were so inconvenienced by my home set-up that they had to resort to that.

wow, people really don't like other people sleeping in their bed huh. I've never thought twice about it. We always let DP's parents sleep in our bed back when our spare bed was a sofabed and not really suitable for DP's elderly dad. It never occurred to me that would be a problem, making sure your guests are comfortable is part of being a good host.

Bit annoying to have to make the bedroom guest-level presentable and hide all the sex toys but hey ho.

You lost me at the weeing in plastic bottles, grim

Both DH and I cannot deal with anyone other than us in our bed. Really really not.

I have always given my bed to my parents when staying, and the BFs parents when they’ve stayed. A proper bed is always more comfortable then whatever guest alternative you have, and I believe in ensuring that elderly people are not in pain or discomfort.

For contrast my ex really resented this, but he resented my parents staying in general and never even invited his too.

Loving the reactions to the bottled piss.

Grim, vile, horrific 😂

It was all jokes and lolz when it was a penis beaker. But no one is laughing at the pints of piss - except maybe me.

I am dying here that the AIBU is the easily solved bed issue rather than the PILs pissing in bottles 🤣 in what world is this normal? It's easier to walk downstairs than pee in a tiny bottle opening

Oh my lord, what have I just read??

PILs peeing in a plastic bottle so they don't have to go downstairs to the loo?! I've never heard of anything like it. Think of how much wee is now in your carpet!

Give your parents your bed. End of. It's a couple of nights, your husband needs to have a word with himself.

I'm betting the OP is wishing she hadn't asked as she's now questioning the whole pissing in bottles situation

Stunned at the responses here.

Obviously giving up your bed to someone else isn't ideal, but making 60+ year old parents clamber over each other to get up during the night is not OK. Especially when they've expressed their difficulties and one has ended up sleeping on the sofa as she's so uncomfortable?!

Come on! These people are doing OP a favour and it's a short-term visit. Of course her parents should sleep in their bed.

Seriously? They are just guests! If it is more convenient for guests to stay in our bedroom (eg. because they need space for an extra bed for small children) then of course they stay in our bedroom. We change the sheets.

My parents have slept in my bed when they've stayed over. I've slept on the single sofa bed in the spare room. Same for my sister and her partner. I don't get the issue.

Why doesn't your mum sleep on the side nearest the door?! Why is she climbing over your dad?

Did this ever get answered? Seemed the obvious solution.

Mmm it's being a bit picky for a couple of days surprised they want to sleep In your bed tbh. But wtaf at the in-laws pissing in bottles? That's next level from you've probably got drops of piss all over your carpet from where they've missed. Seems more hassle than nipping downstairs and fucking weird.

"Good grief. Your husband wants your parents - who are, by the way, coming to do you a favour - to pee into plastic bottles because he doesn’t want to give up his bed?!"

You've not rtft, have you?

I have absolutely no problem with anyone sleeping in our bed; mattress protector, clean sheets, I honestly can’t see the issue. Very strange, do you each have your chair too?