To be flabbergasted by CF

[Wickedwoo]

Someone posted a thread the other week about how people are CF's on Facebook free sites. I did comment and say I'd had a clear out and used my DH's account to put stuff on our local free site and people wanted stuff but expected me to drop it off to them.

So one of the things i gave away (and delivered) was a Nestcafe Dolce Gusto coffee machine that we had used maybe 5 times i even gave away the coffee pods we had left with it.

Fast forward to today the lady who had it has messaged my DH on Facebook saying she is disgusted she only had the machine 4 weeks used it everyday and now today it's stopped working and her DH is furious because he did not get his coffee this morning and we should be ashamed of ourselves for giving it away knowing it was going to break, and now they are left with boxes of coffee pods and no machine and now her DH is expecting her to get a replacement TODAY and we should contribute.

DH replied something along the lines of f**k off you crazy woman. It was free and it worked fine otherwise it would not of been given away. We gave it away because it was something we did not use. He has now blocked her.

She has now started messaging off what must be her DS Facebook account calling my DH a coward again she's been blocked.

It genuinely was in perfect working order as she knows because she's used it for the last month.

Some people really do have some nerve. I actually laughed when DH rang and told me because i was so shocked.

I will never give anything away on Facebook again now. I can not believe people can be so vile. I am absolutely dreading bumping into her she sounds completely unhinged

Wow. What a fucking nut job.

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@AllAboutHallowsEve that was me. I could have refused when I realised the price of postage. But it was perfectly possible that the seller was buying for a birthday so was in a rush, and I didn’t find out until I got to the post office. It was my mistake so I decided to suck it up - I was still going to have more money left in my pocket than had I not sold it, and by that point I just wanted rid. I had no use for the games, and CBA to sell them. The card and chocolate were about £2 and already all packaged up when I found out the postage cost 🤣
I didn’t feel it was massively detrimental to me - the extra bits. The postal cost, my responsibility for assuming.
I’m not even a particularly nice person, I just was feeling a bit nice that day
I am never surprised that being in life take the piss a bit... but on this occasion, yeah - I was surprised that he took the piss THAT MUCH!

Oh god @madwifenewlife. My son was premature too and like you I struggled to find him prem clothes. You did the right thing to give them to the grandmother rather than to a doll.
I'd have been elated if someone had given me prem clothes

I'm still chuckling about lyra's DH about to send them a 'full refund' cheque for £0.00!

Fist-bump to you, Sir!!!

Please tell me that the 'amount written out in words' stated "No money at all, yes, that's right - not even a single sausage!"

@madwifenewlife I didn’t say you should have given the clothes to doll woman!
I said I understood why she was annoyed. I said she shouldn’t have expressed that to you - but I don’t think someone is a CF to be annoyed when they have been offered something and then the giver changes their mind.

I’d have wanted them to go to someone with a prem baby too. But who knows who is actually deserving? Freecycle and Facebook selling is full of scammers. The grandmother might have been lying anyway, ready to sell the clothes on - to doll owners looking on eBay Judging by the CF reports here, that’s not beyond the realms of possibility!

Your husband shouldn't have told her to F off though, what good did that do?

Possibly none, but I'm guessing that, after you've done somebody a really kind altruistic good deed, for them to react by going out of their way to maliciously try to destroy your business and livelihood is probably not going to elicit an instinctive response of "Deary me, I think this poor lovely lady might have made a genuine honest mistake somewhere along the line - let me see if she will do me the honour of allowing me to assist her".

OK, depending on the order in which things happened, it looks like she may not have made the malicious attempts to wreck the business before he swore at her - but even so, there are disputes and there are cases of sheer unbridled brass-neckedness. She was effectively telling him that he owed her money as a result of giving her a valuable item free - it would be a very unusually restrained person who wouldn't react defensively to that.

Be honest, if she's the sort to make outrageous demands like that, she's not going to be the kind of person who will be able to be helped to understand her confusion and then apologise profusely for her mistake afterwards. I'm not saying that he should have sworn at her, but she was clearly on the offensive.

It sounds to me like he well had the measure of her from that point.

😮😮😮😮😮😮

Not quite the same thing but I bought a beautiful solid oak table and chairs set off Facebook for £70.
It was stained dark and the seat pads were a very old fashioned design. I’ve scrubbed everything, reupholstered the seat pads. Painted the chairs and base of table, and sanded and waxed the top so it looks like a brand new set. Spent hours on it. And it’s for myself, not to sell on.
The man I bought it from seen pictures of it all done up and said it wasn’t fair that he sold it for only £70 because it now looks great. He wants to reimburse me for the products and have it back!!!!! Erm let me think about that for a minute.

@Mammyofasuperbaby yes exactly I wanted to help someone who was in the same position as it’s really not easy, and especially if you only have 0-3 clothes and are stuck in the hospital and hoping family can get them. Like this grandmother! I’m so pleased she saw my post. The woman with the doll didn’t say when she first commented she just put she was in need of them and could come ASAP! So when I said of cause and asked how the baby was she said oh no they aren’t for a baby they are for my daughters doll! Arrrgh

She sounds mentally unwell! I would go and pick it up, then present her with a bill for the petrol used and for the reimbursement of coffee pods (just to see the look on her face!)
I must say though I’m finding your posts a bit annoying - scared to go out & and asking your mum to accompany you? Do get a grip!
People like this get away with it because no one ever confronts them. Don’t let her intimidate you, she’s ridiculous!

@Ellisandra yes but my post stated what they were for, only for a baby in need. she said she was in need of prem clothes ASAP I said of cause and asked how the baby was then she said oh no not for a baby for a doll! That’s when I revoked my offer and she kicked off.

I agree with Ellisandra.

If you could be certain that everybody would tell you the whole situation upfront and that nobody would be lying, it would make things so much easier. Had you been given this information upfront, of course you would want the baby to have the clothes rather than a doll.

However, from doll-woman's pov, she hadn't lied and claimed that she wanted the clothes for an actual baby and she had subsequently been offered them. Whomever you give things to, there could always have been an arguably more worthy cause than them - not just somebody with a prem baby, but somebody with a sick prem baby or somebody with extremely sick prem triplets whose house had just burned down etc.

I don't think you were wrong at all in your priorities and I think she probably should have thought to say upfront "If you don't have any takers with actual babies, we'll gladly use them for a doll" - but I see her annoyance.

For all you know, her daughter might have had learning difficulties or autism and used the doll as her communications bridge to the outside world - and the mum might have been penniless to buy any clothes for the doll or indeed any other presents for her DD.

Again, absolutely no criticism intended, but you can never know people's full circumstances, whether worthy or unworthy, truly told or outright lied about.

@Ellisandra yes but my post stated what they were for, only for a baby in need. she said she was in need of prem clothes ASAP I said of cause and asked how the baby was then she said oh no not for a baby for a doll!

Apologies, I either missed or didn't realise that. In which case, you were 100% justified and she was very dishonest.

I had a great experience - we put a fishing tackle box on Facebook for free as it was cluttering the basement. The guy came when he said he would AND gave me a tray of 30 free range eggs in return. I was utterly delighted!

YANBU

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll Yes exactly if I’d just put them on there and not stated then absolutely. But it was very clear that I was reluctant to part with them but wanted to help another family in need of prem clothes or the hospital. Even after I pointed it out to the woman that if they were free items just for dolls clothes I’d of kept them for my daughter but I wanted them to go to a baby, she kicked off massively about how she commented first and her daughter was her priority not other babies. Horrible she was. This other family was so unbelievably great full I got a picture sent of the baby in them so it ended well

Honestly give an inch and they'll take a mile...

My old flatmate had the use of my car - didn't have to put petrol in, or pay for anything he could use it for errands or to get to work - I walked to work so it wasn't really being used otherwise.

He took a friend out in it one day and it broke down. I had recovery so everyone made it home but he was FUMING about how I'd let his friend down etc... He was mad at me for lending him a car for FREE that happened to break down - it wasn't a new car, shit happens...

Needless to say I didn't let him borrow it any more.

Ugh. Threads like these make me hare people even more. What is wrong with these people?

He took a friend out in it one day and it broke down. I had recovery so everyone made it home but he was FUMING about how I'd let his friend down etc.

Outrageous. Would that have been a GIRLfriend, by any chance? Possibly a very new one to whom he'd lied that the car was his and whom he was wanting to impress?

I had someone be really pissed off at me for not dismantling something for them that I put on free cycle. I put photos of it constructed as was and said it was large, gave measurements, and that it would need two people to carry it! He was really shitty with me because it wouldn't fit in his car and he'd have to dismantle it..

Also had several people 'reserve' things, make a fuss back and forth about collection times then just not show up. I do think if it's free people try to just grab it but don't value the giver or their time at all.

I would have said "sure, meet me at John Lewis in 30 mins and I will cover the cost of a new machine "...

Then left them there waiting like numpties!!!

I only give stuff to charity shops so as not to get involved with people like the op describes.

Have a look at r/choosing beggars on YouTube - you will see this type of person is more common than most people would think