What would you think if you got an invite worded like this?

[TheLowry]

So this was for a 'big' night out - think annual event where we usually get together with the same group friends.

Hi. at our place if you fancy joining us? Would be lovely to have you but feel free to say no. X

Sorry - didn't know voting would be enabled.

YABU - great invite, you should go.
YANBU - they don't actually want you there.

I’d not read much into it. They are inviting you but making clear that it’s an invite not a summons.

I would think:

Almost sounds like all the 'actual' invites have gone out and this is a secondary invite to boost numbers... I could be wrong but its seems to short and I wouldn't add the "feel free to say no" part... Almost like they added that in last, so its the last thing you read therefore the idea is planted in your head.

Why would it be a summons though?

I'd find that a bit odd. I think I'd call them and jokingly ask about it.

Sounds like a normal invite. In my circles we're all busy and have very busy lives with working/children/caring for family members etc so we like to try and ensure people can say no if they want to do nobody feels put upon if you know what I mean.

No drip feed. I just thought the extra bit at the end was odd. Why tell me I can say no? I know that.

I would read it as 'we'd like you to come along but we won't get pissy if you don't. We are not expecting you to make up some bullshit excuse if you just don't want to come, saying no is perfectly fine'

Why tell me I can say no? I know that

You might know that, but judging by some of the threads on here lots of others don’t, and somehow feel obliged to go to invited events even if they don’t want to.

I would think that event has already been planned and I was an afterthought invite, and they are sort of hoping I say no.

It is a bit odd wording the last bit, but I have been known to put ‘no worries if not’ at the end of an invite sometimes. Not because I don’t want them there, just because I appreciate how busy every is

Why tell me I can say no? I know that

Because some people don't know that they can't say 'no'. MN is full of wet lettuces asking random strangers on the internet to give them acceptable reasons to turn down an invitation.

I think it sounds off-putting. It's something I'd say informally but not write on an invite.
Can u find out from the others what their invites said?

It’s worded like a duty invite (you’re almost being encouraged to say no), yet it’s an annual event you all meet at so there’d be no reason to suppose you wouldn’t want to. Strange. I’d wonder too.

Have you been in the habit of saying no to recent invites? Or perhaps complaining to some members of the group that you can’t always meet up when they do?

Have you been in the habit of saying no to recent invites? Or perhaps complaining to some members of the group that you can’t always meet up when they do?

If there are any issues, I am unaware of them.

Sounds like whoever wrote it is on MN and wanted to get in early with "It's an invitation, not a summons".

I would say that they're not sure if you'll want to/ will be able to come and want to make it 'easy'.

Maybe - but is is something we have done with these friends for years. Kind of a tradition. The sort of thing where if we had another invite on that night we would probably decline because we always meet up with these guys and have a great time.

Can you think of anything which would make them think you couldn't come...new baby? Kids? Recent illness? Distance?

Can you think of anything which would make them think you couldn't come...new baby? Kids? Recent illness? Distance?

Nope. Nothing like that.

It would be less of an issue if everyone else got the same wording, obviously. But how to check?

1 set of friends got the same invite.
1 set didn't.

I think they've worded it clumsily. Probably should have said 'no worries if you are unable to make this one, there's always the next one' or something like that. It isn't great wording tbh.

Oh!