To think people with eupd aren’t taken seriously when struggling

[User30372]

A friend of mine has repeatedly told professionals that she didn’t feel safe and was going to do something. She’s now seriously unwell in hospital and I just feel if people listened to her she wouldn’t be in that position. I’m sure she will be sent back into the community despite this. I know inpatient care isn’t the answer to everything but surely for someone at such high risk it should be considered not dismissed due to a diagnoses.

Honestly? Patients with EUPD do tend to threaten suicide a lot, it is part of the personality type. It is often (obviously not always) a bid for attention and can be manipulative (e.g. taking tablets and then immediately calling a family member/partner). Clearly this is still a sign of mental ill health, but with mental health services in absolute crisis there is no way that everyone with EUPS can be admitted every time they threaten suicide.

The thing is, inpatient wards are generally not a good place to successfully help people with eupd. I would go so far as to say they often make things worse.

The people I have looked after with eupd were struggling with feelings that were intolerable. It was completely understandable that they wanted to escape from them, but a hospital admission does not really help. There are therapies that help (I have seen DBT really help people) but you generally need to be in your normalhome environment, being exposed to all the e Paris car that entails, to do that work.

It must be awful and frightening for your dd1 is d to feel like they do. But, try to remember that just because staff aren't doing what they want doesn't mean they aren't listening or trying to help.

There are a lot of times in mental health where the things we know help aren't what someone wants (for example, people wanting to leave hospital when it isn't safe, or people not wanting medication due to psychotic symptoms). Not always admitting people to hospital is like that.

Staff will have carried out a risk assessment regarding her risk her herself. What she tells them is a part of that, but is not the only thing taken into account.

Yes I understand that but still feel services take too many risks with these patients.

*exposed to all the normal experiences

Not e Paris car!

*for your friend, not dd1.

Sorry, I have fat fingers today!

The suicide rate for EUPD is one of the highest of all mental illnesses at 9%. Part of the reason for this, from what I've been told and read, is that it's virtually impossible to get any treatment when they're in crisis. They're just told they're attention seeking and left to suffer until it gets too much and they kill themselves.

If health professionals spot an EUPD diagnosis on someone's records they seem to feel justified to use it as a good excuse to prevent sufferers from receiving help and treatment.

I think the problem is that there are very limited resources and they have to be prioritised and although your friend may be high risk (and may seem it to you) they may not be as high a risk as someone else. EUPD doesn't really help as a diagnosis but the sad reality is that the services can only support so many people. It's shit, I know but I don't think it's necessarily the fault of the service providers rather than the system as a whole.

I genuinely worry that I could lose her and I don’t think enough been done to keep her safe. I assume she will have an assessment before she leaves as she’s on something called a 5’2 section.

Thank you for the response. She’s text me and said her assessment is at six anyone know what kind of assessment this will be?

I feel for you. My younger sister had EUPD and made the decision to end her life in May.
She had missed a regular appointment with her long terms CPN and it wasn't followed up. My parents hasn't heard from her and went to her flat where she was dead.
It was meticulously planned.
DSis had been getting treatment of sorts for years, but when she reached a crisis point there was nothing to be done except try to support her through it.
I think we always knew there wouldn't be a happy ending.

I have a family member with eupd. It's shit quite frankly.

They take no responsibility for taking their medication and then expect everyone to run around after them. We are talking multiple ambulances and admissions per week.

Even if your friend is admitted I doubt they will keep them long. There is a vicious cycle of admission is for crisis management and to keep them safe but eupd needs long term outpatient therapy which cannot be provided in hosp so they are discharged to go on their merry way.

I was told by a person involved in treatment that current mental health cuts are a bit of a nightmare as it means the person only gets a response when in crisis which is exactly what they want.

I have started going to a family support group and it's helpful to talk to other people in the same boat.

weebarra I’m so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately it seems eupd is one of the only mental illnesses without much support particularly at crisis points.

Her notes say they are not suicide attempts and I would tend to agree. She always calls someone to call an ambulance.

However I quite expect one day I will find her dead.

bollocksitshappenedagain It’s awful isn’t it as it’s something we don’t have control over and neither do they to an extent and sometimes it’s so unpredictable.

My understanding is that therapy isn't very successful either for eupd patients. The moment they feel a bit better, the panic that they might lose attention takes over and the circle starts again.

The reality is that professionals don't really know what to do with such patients as often, the more medical attention they receive, the worse their condition gets.

I did have a couple of counselling sessions as I was really suffering anxiety at the worst point last year which I never had before. However she does know full well what she's doing and she also chooses not to take medication so to some extent she is responsible for her own decisions. Whatever the underlying issue is she won't actually tackle it and any mention of it triggers an increase in self harm. She doesn't seem to want to get better. I do get cross with her as she expect everyone to come running after her. She won't go out sometimes for anxiety but refuses to do online shopping so I have to go shopping and deliver it to her. As a full time working single parent to be frank it's too much! I had to go out in storm bloody Ciara! She hoards and has ocd and she wants to move as she thinks it will solve everything as she said her flat depresses her. - it won't she will just build the hoard up in a new flat as she has not addressed the root cause. !

bollocksitshappenedagain Yes the constant worrying is awful. My friend doesn’t tend to ask me to do anything but unsure what she’s like with her family. Yes it’s almost like in a way they are afraid to let go of their illness.

I’ve been watching the C4 documentaries ‘Losing It’ and firstly mental health services have been cut to a really frightening degree. Secondly it appears that patients with personality disorders are both massively high service callers and massively difficult to actually help. I guess we need far more investment in working on therapies that are helpful and patients will comply with.

It’s a mess.

Yes I’ve been watching that to and I did think the mental health nurse in last night she episode was amazing with the way she was looking after patients.

There's a good website for friends and relatives of those with BPD/EUPD and other personality disorders, if you google "Out of the FOG"

That really isn’t true dontdisturbmenow

I agree, it's not true that therapy doesn't help. It's actually very effective.

It really saddens me the way people speak about those with EUPD

Medical attention does not make eupd worse! Nor is it about attention. It is about regulating emotions.

Consistent, appropriate therapy and validation is the only way for this to improve.

OP, you are right to be concerned. I had a friend with this illness. She self harmed frequently and made suicide attempts, some serious, some not so. She’s dead now. What she felt was genuine. Her struggles to see herself as worthy of taking medication and feeling better was genuine. Her fight against her own mind was genuine and she desperately wanted to be better.

She wasn’t taken seriously in her last week and she died. It’s a common story.

If I had a child with EUPD I would find a DBT therapist. Privately if necessary. With enough resources and training to provide it properly.

Me too partysong. I would also stay away from the family and friends website recommended earlier that does nothing but blame and divide.

A high proportion of people posting on those forums are abusers seeking to enable their own denial, gaslight and victim blame. Most EUPD sufferers are childhood abuse survivors.

@orangesquash1 - a PD says nothing about someone's personality. The symptoms of EUPD do not include threatening suicide for 'attention' or being manipulative. This attitude is why some people with EUPD don't get taken seriously. Which is very dangerous as they are more likely to complete suicide than those with any other mental illnesses.