To think people with eupd aren’t taken seriously when struggling

[User30372]

A friend of mine has repeatedly told professionals that she didn’t feel safe and was going to do something. She’s now seriously unwell in hospital and I just feel if people listened to her she wouldn’t be in that position. I’m sure she will be sent back into the community despite this. I know inpatient care isn’t the answer to everything but surely for someone at such high risk it should be considered not dismissed due to a diagnoses.

I also have personal connection to eupd and honestly, it’s so hard. Like others have said they do tend to ‘attempt’ suicide and it’s not even an attempt as they just want the police/ambulance round :(
Mine was very very close as she’d rang the police and then something went very very wrong and luckily the police saved her life. She hasn’t attempted it since, despite ‘attempting’ every week before then. I don’t deny she’s struggling though and my heart goes out to her completely and utterly but it’s just not the same as a simple suicide attempt unfortunately.

@Dontdisturbmenow - that is incorrect. The gold standard treatment is DBT. It can actually improve someone's symptoms to the point they wouldn't get a diagnosis anymore. I'm on a ward for EUPD patients. The more medical treatment people get here the better they get. It can be very up and down but people are making massive improvements.

NC
I have eupd (alongside depression/anxiety/ptsd)
I am not an attention seeker. I have attempted suicide at crisis point several times. Never have I called for help directly after. And I've never been admitted as an inpatient after each attempt.

The last attempt saw me hide myself (not literally) in deep woodland after taking all the medication in my possession with a substantial amount of alcohol . God knows how I was found, but I was. And then shunted back home after 12 hours under police section, under 'crisis team' who were beyond useless.
I can see myself heading that way again and I'm scared. Not for me, but for my kids and husband because one day this disorder will kill me.

OP, I sincerely hope your friend gets the help and support she needs.

As someone with EUPD as a result of childhood sexual abuse and long term trauma I find some attitudes on this thread quite harsh.
EUPD is a very complex mental illness and should be treated as such. There is no place for phrases like attention seeking.

@partysong - completely agree
@Mulledwineinajug - so true. Most people with EUPD have been abused. But they often can't manage talking therapy until they have learned skills to manage distress and their emotions. It is such a misunderstood mental illness - the shocking misinformation on this thread shows this.

It really saddens me the way people speak about those with EUPD

Why?

My good friend’s mother has BPD and my friend believes that she will be in lifelong therapy trying to deal with the trauma she has experienced, to deal with the continued efforts of her mother to control her using threats of suicide and the associated guilt with not putting her mother’s needs first (ahead of her own children).

Does that not sadden you?

Individuals with EUPD/BPD are not the only ones who suffer. It is not victimless.

@User30372 - I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. Unfortunately some professionals have old fashioned views of EUPD (like those seen on this thread) and may not take someone seriously. Services are cut back so much, as well. There is inpatient treatment available for EUPD but it is quite hard to get a place. Has your friend been offered DBT in the community?

@WarrenNicole - that is very sad about your friend but if people with EUPD were treated as people with a severe mental illness rather than seen as 'seeking attention' then maybe they would be given appropriate treatment so they can recover and their family don't have to suffer too.

My relative will not engage with treatment. Full stop. Places in our area are limited on DBT courses so if you are not ready to engage and work at it they won't accept you.

How can you make someone take their medication when you don't live with them?

I am so thankful for those on this thread that are sympathetic to the pain of EUPD sufferers, there is too much victim blaming for this condition.

Nobody is belittling the pain others around them experience. I get it, it affects someone in my life personally and life can be pure hell at times. But I'm sure it's worse for the sufferer. It must be if so many kill themselves.

Having said that, I'm sure DBT does work, but many places on the NHS won't take patients until they've stopped self harming which not everyone can do. Bit pointless really.

@UndertheCedartree, agreed. Our mental health service is shameful and, quite frankly, needs an entire overhaul. The funding is just not there and it seems to be one area that we are lagging behind in.

This thread breaks my heart.

Eupd is a bullsh*t diagnosis.

There's people with trauma and emotional issues and scarier types all shoved in together and the most vulnerable are treated awfully for the actions of a few "bad"uns.

If people don't respond to professionals "nicely" it's probably because they've been let down, lied to and told their illness is their own fault and they are manipulating.

Being locked in a cycle of self hatred is horrific.

The person I know with this illness never seeks attention. She will OD and not tell, self harm and not tell. Even stitch up her own wounds because of the scorn she has had from "professionals". She doesn't feel she deserves to burden her family or friends to get help.

I have an altogether different diagnosis but have been told by "professionals" I should be glad my baby is dead, I'm selfish and putting too much pressure on myGP. I can't even imagine what they'd say to me if I had eupd.

But I'm sure it's worse for the sufferer

Really? Not worse for the small, vulnerable child who is reliant on consistency from a caregiver who is unable to provide that to them?

@bollocksitshappenedagain - you can't make them take medication or do therapy. It should really be the job of the care co to support the person to increase compliance or for in-patient care to get medication established so the person is well enough to comply with mediication and well enough to be able to commit to therapy. Unfortunately those services aren't often available.

@treesandrocks - that's crazy - it is DBT that reduces s/h - to have to stop before treatment is unfair.

They were under section for 2 months on 121 and set harmed and refused medication for most of that time!

If they won't even take it in hospital there is no bloody chance at home.

@UndertheCedartree, but you cannot give inpatient care to someone who does not want it. EUPD does not meet the requirements for sectioning.

I’ve seen situations where alcoholics are drinking turps and even then, when someone is clearly killing themselves, nothing can be done. Alcoholism does not meet the requirements for sectioning either.

You cannot force compliance.

@UndertheCedartree - I know, it's crazy, but I guess DBT is in such high demand and resources so scarce they can cherry pick who they give it to.

@bollocksitshappenedagain - if they didn't make her take medication then there is not going to be a change in her compliance. Ridiculous that they kept her in for 2 months with no medication. However to properly sort medication takes much longer than 2 months.

I have it and I’ve never threatened suicide. There are two types high and low functioning. Those low can’t work and suffers greatly those high work I. Professional jobs don’t self harm and live fairly normal brining lives. I see again the typical responses that show clear ignorance. It’s easily maintained by reducing your contact with people and not having any close relationships as eupd is an emotional disorder only triggered by real life events and cannot be controlled by medication. It’s also not curable ever.

@WarrenNicole - plenty of people with EUPD are sectioned and get treatment and recover. Sectioning is not based on a diagnosis - it is based on risk level.

@FabbyChix - Have you tried DBT? It can be curable these days, many people have gone through DBT and now no longer meet the requirements for a diagnosis of EUPD and have had it removed. It is possible.

@treesandrocks - on the opposite side I hear sometimes people being told their s/h is not 'bad enough' to get treatment

It’s not treatable with medication. It’s the only mental illness with no cure.

@FabbyChix - EUPD is a serious mental illness and lots of the symptoms can be controlled by medication. It is curable by DBT although I think most people with EUPD would probably describe it as 'managed' with medication, DBT and schema/trauma therapy often too. It isn't only triggered by 'real life events' - all sorts of things can be a trigger. I'm finding this thread very triggering (so I've taken some lorazapam!)