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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why people announce baby names before it’s born?

195 replies

LLBandTTC · 11/02/2020 22:44

I don’t remember the last person that I know who had a baby and didn’t announce the name before it was even born, I don’t understand why you would? What if baby is born and they don’t suit it, etc? Just interested to know if anyone here has announced their babies name before birth and if so, why? (Not a dig, just curious)

OP posts:
TheThingWithFeathers · 11/02/2020 23:12

Most people I know have only announced the baby's name at birth. Finding out the name is the best bit!

ChazP · 11/02/2020 23:12

My brother and Sil had a planned cs for their 2nd, so we knew the gender, the name and the date of birth weeks before. The only thing left unknown was the weight. Couldn’t understand it! We’ve never settled on names until after the birth.

Justajot · 11/02/2020 23:14

I didn't consider whether my DDs suited the names we had chosen, they just looked like babies.

We didn't announce names before they were born, but had chosen their names (and boy alternatives). It wouldn't have made any difference if we had announced them before, except that I think we would have had more opinions thrown at us, which wouldn't have been particularly welcome. Once a baby has arrived and is named, people are rightly less willing to give their opinion on your choice.

Sagradafamiliar · 11/02/2020 23:15

Because it's just stating a fact. I don't go in for the ceremonious announcement or 'keep people guessing' because let's be honest, not many people actually care, it just comes up in conversation. No use being precious about it if the decision's been made.

Fuckitwhynot · 11/02/2020 23:15

We told people the name, I don’t get what the problem is?

BelieveInPeople · 11/02/2020 23:15

We told people because we know he was a he, and we knew what we were going to call him. Keeping it a secret so that other people could be surprised wasn’t really on my agenda. His arrival was just as exciting to those who mattered - no one said ‘yeah, yeah, he’s a boy and he’s called Bob, what’s new?’

PapayaCoconut · 11/02/2020 23:16

Our children are named after relatives. Their names were decided before I even got pregnant.

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 11/02/2020 23:16

I've never known anyone to do this. DB and SIL knew the middle name for DD2 but didn't announce it, they spoke to me as I was pregnant at the same time and our grandmother passed away in the same year, they wanted to check I wasn't planning on using it, SIL was actually really lovely about it and said if I was she had a plan b anyway. DS didn't have a name for almost a fortnight after he was born.

x2boys · 11/02/2020 23:16

And tbh people still make comments ,both myself And my sister have two boys each all four of them have very traditional name ,s none of the names would raise anyone's eyebrows but people still feel the need to comment .

IHaveBrilloHair · 11/02/2020 23:17

Why not?
I knew I was having a girl, and I knew what I was naming her.

hazandduck · 11/02/2020 23:18

OP I do agree, I personally don’t feel quite as excited to hear if a baby has arrived if I already know the sex and especially if I know the name! I would never admit that in real life but I love it when someone I know is about to have a baby and I’m just waiting for that message to say if it’s a boy or girl.

Our first DD we had a name in mind for a girl, although didn’t know the sex. I had a picture in my head if it was a girl that she would resemble my DH and this name just fitted him in female form. Well she came out and it was basically like I’d given birth to myself! We both looked at one another and said “that’s not her name!”

I don’t get the whole “claiming a name” thing.

Tiredtiredtired100 · 11/02/2020 23:22

I told my family and a couple of very close friends (one because she visited a few weeks before the birth and I was already using the name constantly to refer to my DS so I knew I couldn’t keep it under wraps). For me before I even knew I was having a boy there was only one name I liked and it was his, there was never a question he wouldn’t suit it because he was (and has) made the name his own. I also think I already had a sense of his personality in the womb and just knew it would suit him. But that’s just me, I don’t expect everyone to be the same and just let them get on with whatever they want to do.

SlippersAndThePaper · 11/02/2020 23:22

We didn’t. I didn’t want anyone’s opinions on the names and I wanted something to announce rather than ‘oh l, here’. I think things are overshared nowadays.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 11/02/2020 23:27

Because i knew what i was going to call 3 of them while 8 was pregnant with them. I wasn't going to lie if someone asked

Let's face it, no-one else really cares about the sex or name anyway. Unless close family

Schuyler · 11/02/2020 23:28

YABU and I don’t understand how newborns can suit a name either. They mostly look like red, angry potatoes. They change daily when they’re teeny.

Why does someone else’s baby’s name and sex need to be a surprise for you anyway? I didn’t share my names because I’m indecisive but have no problem with other people doing so.

Narcheska · 11/02/2020 23:29

We didn't but I would have happily told anyone who asked what we were planning to call all 3 of our kids.

I don't really understand the need for it to be some massive secret but each to their own.

I guess maybe I'm not bothered because I'm one of those that doesn't care if someone else used the name I wanted or if it's anywhere in the top 100 names 🤷🏻‍♀️ if I love the name that's good enough for me

Pardonwhat · 11/02/2020 23:32

I find people that are secretive and do a ‘big reveal’ after the birth even weirder.

emilyldn · 11/02/2020 23:34

It's better than those certain Facebooks who will refer to the baby by the letter of the name like "oooo can't wait for baby R to get here" like yes your baby is special to you but not to no-one else, we really don't care

x2boys · 11/02/2020 23:36

It's like those Gender reveal ( or is it sex ? Can never remember the mumsnet preferred term ) nobody cares it's got to be a boy or a girl .

Roozy123 · 11/02/2020 23:36

I'm pregnant with my 3rd and named all 3 before they were born.
I done it because it made me feel more bonded with them. Just my general take on it.
I'm not on Facebook to be the person that would announce a pregnancy but if i had chosen a name and someone was to ask have i thought of any I would then say, yes his or her name is X.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 11/02/2020 23:46

My first son we did not know the sex and told people both our names we had picked out. My second son we knew he was a boy and told people our choice before he was born. The day I went into labor I changed my name. So when we announced his birth people were shocked that his name was something different. With our last son we knew he was a boy and when he would be born (planned c-section) so wanted something to be a surprise. We did not share the names we were thinking of. He ended up giving us a surprise by being born 3 weeks early, we had not even finalized our choice at that point.

Normandy144 · 11/02/2020 23:50

I'm with you OP. My SIL and BIL found out the sex and named the baby after the 20 week scan. I couldn't understand the urgency. Ok so tell us when he's arrived then. I know it's down to personal preference but i always find it much more fun to anticipate the birth when i don't know.

Seeingadistance · 11/02/2020 23:55

Not so long ago it was considered bad luck to buy your pram before the baby was born.

I’m not superstitious, but aware that things can and do go wrong.

XPQF · 12/02/2020 00:02

Each to their own.

Doesn't really matter how other people approach this.

DC1 now 30 - didn't know the sex. Had a girls name sorted but no boys name.

Same as DC 2

(Both boys - and wasnt bothered which sex they were, I just found it easier to name girls).

VenusTiger · 12/02/2020 00:03

I told my parents what we'd name baby if a boy but hadn't fully decided on names for a girl. You tend to discuss names with family anyway, so it's not exactly a big deal to just say, yep, we've chosen one.
A mom at the baby & toddler group didn't name her first born until he was 5 weeks old ffs! He has the same name as my son lol!
As another pp said, it's worse when it's all hush-hush and then announced like a bloody royal baby!