To think this may go against you in an interview ?

[inthemoment1990]

Name changed on this as didn’t want to link to other posts .

So say you were interviewing someone for a job , you very vaguely knew that person you were interviewing from a previous role a while back , and prior to the interview you were briefing that person on the some of the job responsibilities.

What would you think if the interviewee was very eager to get a job and a comment they made prior to proper questions was:

“You are looking very lovely and radiant by the way’

@inthemoment1990

Sounds like nerves a bit. I often say the wrong thing/babble furiously/chat bollocks when I'm anxious and nervous. Also get giggling fits.

It does seem a bit cheesy though. But I wouldn't read too much into it. I doubt if he fancies her.

Best of luck to him.

Oh, how did you find out what he said? Did he tell you? (Sorry if you said, I must have missed it.)

If she knows him and he always says weirdly creepy things like that, it might be fine.

I think a man commenting on a woman’s appearance in a professional setting is usually borne out of their desire (they don’t always realise it) to position themselves above her. The bestower of compliments. It’s usually designed to ruffle the receiver of the compliment a little, to disarm them. As your husband has worked with this woman before, I wonder if he doesn’t think of her as his superior and the compliment was a way of making clear they are on the same level and that he feels no sense of hierarchy with her.

It would piss me off greatly. I’m not sure I’d respond. Probably a bit of a hard stare then begin the interview.

Ffs. Mumsnet is the hive of over reactions!

Well of course anyone who disagrees with you must be over reacting. By definition .

“ Lovely and radiant “ are not appropriate things for a man to say to any woman at work . Let alone to an interviewer when you are a candidate.

Could’ve been worse, he could have complimented the interviewer on her ‘smashing blouse’

(anyone else a Bottom fan? Nope? Just me then).

I used to interview a fair bit, and it would count against him, sorry, as it would show a lack of understanding of social rules, anywhere, let alone an interview! I think tell him not to say that again, or to make any personal comments at all, just of focus on the role and why he would be suitable, and general chit chat to show awareness of the world around him.

I would accept "lovely and radiant" as ironic banter from trusted work colleagues AFTER they had got the job though!

It's not particularly appropriate but I wouldn't hold it against someone. People can act very weirdly when they're nervous!

I think a man commenting on a woman’s appearance in a professional setting is usually borne out of their desire (they don’t always realise it) to position themselves above her.

Bingo! I agree, that's why I said it was disempowering. It's patronising. And why the fuck should I care what some random bloke at work thinks of my appearance?

I meant just to focus not of

Would he say to a male interviewer, "looking pretty buff and hench may I say Mr Smith"? Find it hard to believe he would. Rather unprofessional imo.

Adaline, thing is, depending on the job, the candidate might be under pressure a lot in the role so would have to deal appropriately with that.

I.e. in my role speaking to large audiences, making small talk with strangers, etc are all part of the job so someone who got nervous and did the wrong thing in that situation wouldn't be a good fit.

Very unprofessional.
Why did he tell you he said that OP ?
Was he having doubts himself and wondered if you thought it was inappropriate?

If you had met before they probably didn't think it was inappropriate.
It's just a nice comment, no relevance to their suitability for the job.

Re pp about what he might say to a male, I agree - "good gosh, that is fine tie you have on today, the pink goes perfectly with your colouring".

It would depend very much on the nature of the role.

If he was to be a tech geek with no customer interface it would be different to a customer facing role. I might be a bit concerned about inappropriate comments to colleagues in the former case, but one could just put it down to nerves.

I don’t think it’s crime of the century but it’s probably not a good idea to say. Commenting on looks in a interview is a no,no. Radiant can also be taken to mean pregnant so that another potential pitfall.
Ignore those saying he is a slime ball, awful human being, but advice him to stick to “great to see you again” or similar next time he encounters that sort of situation.

Whoops meant advise not advice

But the interviewee said something similar in a previous interview and didn’t get the job
If I’m reading it correctly this is the second time your dh has made personal comments to his interviewer? Is that right?
And he’s now wondering if this is why he’s not being successful at interviews? God almighty

As an interviewer, I'd definitely consider that a warning sign.

I would find it odd and patronising but I wouldn't hold it against him if the rest of the interview was good.
Although if I hired him, I'd possibly make a joke about his comment and make it clear it wasn't acceptable and shouldn't happen again.

I would think lacked appropriate boundaries and would be wary of inappropriate and possibly unprofessional behaviour if I did employ them.

He sounds like a posh twat. Or a bloke in his 80s trying to be nice to somebody in their 40s.

Neither of whom are particularly suitable for most employment these days.

I would find that inappropriate and unprofessional. All things being equal, it would make me chose another candidate as I have to work closely with the people I employ and client interface is very important in my job.

He's done this twice, OP?

Just tell him to stop commenting on people's appearance - it's not difficult!