To think this may go against you in an interview ?

[inthemoment1990]

Name changed on this as didn’t want to link to other posts .

So say you were interviewing someone for a job , you very vaguely knew that person you were interviewing from a previous role a while back , and prior to the interview you were briefing that person on the some of the job responsibilities.

What would you think if the interviewee was very eager to get a job and a comment they made prior to proper questions was:

“You are looking very lovely and radiant by the way’

My DH's work is full of people who are incredibly (almost genius level) clever but have absolutely zero social skills. They are phenomenally good at their jobs but this is the kind of thing they'd say mistakenly thinking it was an appropriate social nicety. They genuinely wouldn't realise it would come across as odd or creepy at all.

So yeah, personally I wouldn't worry about it if I were interviewing someone but mostly because I have experience of this and know it's generally nothing to worry about.

So, regardless of the information anyone gave before the interview, you are saying that your dh walked into the interview and told one of the panel that they were " You are looking very lovely and radiant by the way’ "

That is so inappropriate, I'd be worrying about their complete lack of social skills and reading of situations.
I would probably be checking on the paperwork if they had put any special need that the panel should be taking into account as that is such poor reading of the situation.

What happened?

my Husband who was the candidate , who made the comment to the lady who was interviewing him.

Yeah, I wouldn’t hire him.

"You're looking well" isn't appropriate either. You shouldn't comment on a way person looks (unless it's their wedding day and you're telling then they look stunning!).

Something along the lines of 'it's nice to see you' or whatever is fine if he feels the need to say something.

To be honest it depends on the job and how good his interpersonal skills need to be for the role!

I think it really depends. I would find it creepy and evidence of poor social skills. As someone who chairs interviews, I would respond with a breezy or humorous disclaimer but inside I would think they were a weirdo or thought I was so vain I'd be influenced by that sort of comment.

That said. I work in academia, with a lot of eccentric or "big" characters. And some of them could get away with it. I am thinking of a few of the older male professors who are a bit geeky and old school and courteous.

But on most people it would look like awkward sycophancy.

Is your husband usually such a slimeball with other women?

If that's your definition of slimeball I wouldn't like to be someone paying a compliment. Unless you were there and heard the tone of voice and the whole context of the conversation who can say?

It's impossible to say what the interviewer thought, I don't think I'd necessarily be offended if someone I knew said I looked good but there are too many variables to say for sure

I personally would immediately discount them as a bit of a creep. No job from me.

depends. Wouldn't like it from a man to a woman.

Wouldn't like it if I knew the person either because I would expect to be treated like I was unknown, so there are no signs of favourtism.

Cringey. You don't comment on a person's appearance in a professional situation, it's completely inappropriate.

I’d put it down to nerves and disregard it. How did he feel the rest of the interview went?

It’s weird and inappropriate. It would make me question someone’s judgement.

he doesn’t struggle with social situations. If he thought making that comment to his interviewer was in any way appropriate then most of the social graces have sadly passed him by.

It's inappropriate in an interview and I'd be very worried about that. Especially since it's a man saying it to a woman. I mean he wouldn't have said it to a man would he?

It's got a sleezy/disempowering flavour to it.

A man telling the woman interviewing him she's looking lovely and radiant is not a compliment. It's a come-on.

completely inappropriate at interview - just no comment on personal appearances beyond if they know them reasonably well saying something along the lines of you are looking well, good to see you again

frankly though I am not sure I would interview someone I knew even vaguely

Pregnant ? as in radiant ?

I was told of a similar incident. It was an internal interview and the candidate was given a warning and obviously didn’t get promoted.

Serious lack of awareness to say that.

I wouldn't hold it against someone but wouldn't give them extra points for it as opposed to another applicant!

That is really inappropriate.

If it’s someone you know vaguely, at the most you might say ‘good to see you again’.

Context @coconuttelegraph is that this man said it after an interview. Inappropriate. Fine after a date. Fine from a relative or a close friend. Not in a professional setting.

Depends if that's how he would talk to her not in an interview situation. If so its fine, where I work we often compliment each other so that would be fairly normal for us, but if not I'd find it a bit desperate and sucking up which would put me off a bit, I'm not sure it'd make a difference to the outcome of the interview though.

No, “you’re looking well” isn’t appropriate either . The interviewer is assessing your suitability for a work role, your opinion on how they look is at best irrelevant, at worst impertinent.

To put into perspective . It was my Husband who was the candidate , who made the comment to the lady who was interviewing him.

🙈 id suggest he does actually struggle in social / professional situations if he thinks that's actually an ok thing to say to a woman he barely knows in a professional setting.

Ffs. Mumsnet is the hive of over reactions!

I’m a recruitment manager and I wouldn’t worry about the comment your husband made. Trust me I’ve heard a lot worse over the years! And who knows what way the conversation was flowing before/after the interview itself. If they know each other from before it may be perfectly okay. It sounds like he was genuinely trying to be nice.

I think calling the OPs husband a slime ball is out of order.

Glittery just because you've heard worse does not make his comments any more professional.

Speaking about someone else's personal appearance in ANY capacity is not acceptable at work.

Here are some examples of what's ok.

"Oh, you have a leaf in your hair" OK
"Your shoe has toilet paper stuck to it." OK

"You look like you've lost weight" NOT OK
"You look pretty/handsome today" NOT OK