DH and DD bathing

[disintegration]

DH and DD bath together on Sunday mornings. She is 8. He asked me yesterday when I thought that would have to end and I replied that I thought it would probably be soon, certainly this year. He was a bit upset so I suggested I post on here to find out hive mind thought (changed username as I don't want him finding my other posts!!)

So, AIBU and they can bath together for longer or AINBU and they should cut it out sooner rather than later? Should it be DD that decides when she isn't comfortable with it anymore?

@74NewStreet Yes I agree. If I was OP I would be concerned.

If I get in the bath my dd will come in and chat and often get in with me, so surely if she was uncomfortable it wouldn't happen. My ds was the same up until about 10, when he still came in and chatted but became more aware and would pull the shower curtain around and talk to me through that. whereas as a teen he barricades the door even though no one would go in anyway.

Apart from anything else if an 8 or 10 year old mentioned at school he bathed with his Mum or Dad I think it wold be reported as a potential safeguarding issue.

Don't be ridiculous. My sons stopped hopping in the bath with us around 8/9 because they were getting so tall and it was uncomfortable. I knew when they started feeling self conscious about bodies when they started closing the door when getting washed/changed which was about 11.

It does make sense @YgritteSnow because each child is different and making her feel unwanted, rejected or sexual before her time is wrong.

Nope. Still not seeing it. So if she's still not feeling self conscious by say age 12 or 13 does it still carry on?

Some of these comments make me sad .
My dh and dd share a bath on a rare occasion,she’s also 8 and she’s the one who asks .
Dh covers himself with flannel in the water ,not that she has ever even mentioned different body parts .
They just mess about and she makes him eat bubbles . All totally innocent .
As soon as either are uncomfortable it’ll stop ,no questions asked

It won’t @YgritteSnow

I don’t understand the problem with this at all. At 8 she’s still a child. My DD2 is 7 and I’d have no problem bathing with her, and she’s happy to bath with hers younger siblings. My DD1 is nearly 11 and was very relaxed about her own nakedness until bout 6 months ago when she said she’d prefer to lock the door and shower alone now (before I’d help her wash and rives her hair as it’s very long and thick). Fine, she’s growing up. Your daughter will tell you when she’s not comfortable. Let her enjoy the last moments of childhood

I do think it’s lovely they have the time together but agree she’s getting a bit too old now and will probably need to be in the bath alone. Agree with the PP that it would be fine for him to sit in the bathroom and chat/wash hair etc so they don’t lose that time together. It’s bittersweet watching them grow up and be independent so I can see why your DH feels a bit sad about it.

It's bloody ridiculous to suggest that every man would be thinking sexual thoughts of a young girl's breasts were 'budding', and pretty horrific to say it of all fathers. There really are some stupid people.

Don’t be so vile @iwunderwhy !

Meh, my 8 year old son is in my bath faster than I am sometimes.
I also bath with my 5 yo dd. She still wears a nappy for bed so it’s not like I don’t see her bits ever!
I’ll continue until any of us don’t want to (I mostly don’t want to but I get invaded 😂) like I did with my older child

Bloody hell there’s some sad reactions to this 😕 8 is probably getting up there for stopping (because 8 year olds are massive and the bath would be uncomfortable!) but fucking hell, kids bathing with their parents is completely normal for many families (usually cause the kids annoyingly hijack your lovely bath 😏) hope some of these responses haven’t turned your stomach too much OP

Op I wouldn’t show your DH this at all. I’d take it down, wouldn’t want those things said about my DH.

Wow. Just wow. Dads wearing swimshorts to bathe with their kids, not hugging unless completely dressed, no shared baths past the age of 3. What a sorry state of affairs. It actually says a lot more about the posters who have these views than it does about you OP.

Ffs there is some massive overreacting going on here.

She's 8, she is jumping in of her own accord and it's her father. It's totally fine . Let's not let personal hangups turn into assumptions that anything inappropriate is going on, which it's clearly not.

He has expressed doubts to you.

You are asking here.

To me, that means it should become a thing of the past.

“I put away childish things” and all that.

I wasn't aware that this was even a thing?

Never bathed with any of my DC and don't know anyone else who has either.

Everyone takes showers.

I think my DC may have seen me naked on accident.

My grown son didn't want to share a bed when I was visiting and had a hotel room. I said it was ok. I had on full pjs and dressing gown and it was a large king size bed. But, he didn't feel comfortable and that's his right.

Your daughter will tell you when she’s not comfortable

She might not though for fear of upsetting her dad which is why the parents must put the appropriate boundaries in place.

It’s very normal for kids to get in the bath with you. I was only reading ‘Five Minutes Peace’ to reception class last week and they all laughed and talked about doing the same.

I must admit to being amazed by those who claim they never let their children see them naked. Do you never go swimming? Change in the same room? Have them talk to you while you're in the bath?! Take them into a changing room in a shop? Do you ask them to leave the room if you want to get changed, even when they're young?

My daughter is 7. Still bathed with DH. Don’t get the issue.

@formerbabe she’s doing the asking so she’ll just stop.

I think 8 is probably time to stop, yes.

I think 8 is too old to be bath sharing with a parent of the opposite sex.

Dd is 15 and ds is 6. Perhaps the last few months I have started stopping ds just wandering around when I am in the bath/shower/getting changed. Dd stopped wandering in when she was about 10/11.

Ds still showers occasionally with dh, or talks to him while dh is in the bath but bathing/showering with your parents beyond the age you can do it (mostly) independently is a bit odd I think.