The Toilet Seat Saga

[Rosebyanothername19]

Basically my husband and I have an ongoing dispute over the downstairs toilet. I have asked him a million times to put the lid down after he uses it - which is about every half hour...

I have sent him links to articles about hygiene and also put a large note on top of the toilet asking nicely to put the lid down in case he just forgets. I have pointed our that our baby is going to be crawling soon and, as the downstairs loo is between the living room and kitchen, she is probably going to end up in there numerous times.

Every request is met with an eye roll and him saying that's it's not a big deal or just ignored.

So tonight I have decided that every time he leaves the lid up I will empty a beer down the sink and leave the bottle upside down. I haven't told him this and I'm just going to start doing it and wait until he asks or realises what is going on.

AIBU?

Are we talking lid or seat OP? You mention both, which is it.
I always put the lid down when I flush as I dont want to get covered in wee, but it's hard to change the habits of a grown man. Just shut the door when your baby is crawling around!

People who don't close the lid before flushing are just disgusting!

So you are not BU, I am always puzzled it's not normal behaviour. It is not even in a separate loo, but in an actual bathroom? Gosh this is gross.

When everyone closes the lid, there's no argument about toilet seats up or down, what more can you want.

I would just give him an ultimatum before buying an automatic lid closer - his own choice if you end up spending that amount.

Hmmm it seems I am in a minority. Ok the beer is safe! I'll try and give my head a wobble and not let it get to me as much.

Although I will try a cork on the lid... just in case it works!

I’ve never shut toilet seats before I flush. Female forties, never done in my home and I’ve never noticed this in either families homes. I honestly think you are being OTT and controlling. Easy when you have a baby.

The lid ?

You're being ridiculous. I mean the seat I can understand, having had the ice cold water meeting my butt on more than one occasion but expecting the lid to be.down.is silly.

And leave his beer alone.

You have animals that have bacteria from faeces and urine on their paws walking around your house. I'd stop worrying about the toilet.

Mine did this and it drove me mad. Such a simple request. We also had small kittens at the time who wouldn’t have been able to get out ifthey fell in. I bought a dirt cheap toilet seat, replaced the original and hid it, then wrote on the inside cover of the cheap one ‘PLEASE PUT LID DOWN!’ so unless he put the lid down each time he would be facing that message. It didn’t take long before I switched back. Extreme? Itworked and didn’t take long. He also found funny side too so that was good, haha.

I mentioned germs with DP and the loo seat goes down now. It’s the bathroom with our toothbrushes in the room. In a downstairs loo “ our that our baby is going to be crawling soon and, as the downstairs loo is between the living room and kitchen, she is probably going to end up in there numerous times.” unless he’s pissing cyanide you’re fine. If it’s the whole thing up, yes it’s annoying and he could be more considerate, but honestly OP this is batshit.

@Rosebyanothername19

YAY! What could be better than wasting the family money by pouring decent beer down the sink.

Ridiculous

Oh ad YABU.

DH used to leave skid marks and not bother cleaning them... so I started sending him photos of them. He soon started to clean them up

@VenusTiger i mean the lid, not just the seat.

I genuinely thought lid down was normal!

Are you talking lid or seat? For me I can’t stand either to be left up - nothing to do with germs and flushing, I just don’t think it looks very nice when you walk into the room with the lid up.

Recently my husband has left the seat up on occasion which for me is an absolute no. I am not going to be touching the underside of the toilet seat in order to put it down so I can use - I get him to rectify as soon as I am aware and find it somewhat strange that he’s started doing it after 25 years together.

Get some parcel tape and every time he leaves the lid/seat up and you put it down tape the whole toilet closed. Maybe after a few times of having to faff about removing the tape in order to have a wee he will get the message. At least you are fighting fire with fire.

I sometimes wonder how I got to the age of 60 and raised two kids whilst flushing toilets with missing lids. I never once recall having to fish kids out of toilets either

@Shinycat as I previously explained, its Budweiser not proper beer!

@TheTeenageYears brilliant idea! Thank you!!! He has his own bathroom upstairs so he will probably just end up using that more and leave the downstairs one alone!

@Rosebyanothername19

It's budweisser not proper beer.

Oh, that's OK then!

I am not going to be touching the underside of the toilet seat in order to put it down so I can use

This is properly nuts. You do know you are allowed to wash your hands, right?

Even with the toilet seat down, why would you let your toddler play around in the toilet?

An automatic door closer is less than £10 on Amazon, problem sorted.

Have never heard of anyone worry about poo particles after flushing, what new hell is this? I really have other things more important to worry about, like watching the paint dry in the living room.

@thenightsky that's good to hear! I have visions of having to hook her out and hose her down with detol! She is my first so I dont really know what to expect. People says toddlers get everywhere!

(Just to clarify, I'm joking about the detol!)

I never close the lid before flushing. It’s never entered my head. I prefer the lid seat up wherever I go otherwise The Fear kicks in. You just never know what’s lurking under the lid!

nope you need to rethink here.not one person i know has to put it down before flushing.no partical float around.is this the same as the fake poo particle fears?its a bit silly sorry.
my mum likes it to be put down at some point but never a need before flushing.and all healthy adults/family.not one single problem from being around an open flushed toilet.

Lid down before the flush to avoid the aerosol effect with bacteria. Why blast them into the air you breathe when you don't have to? Quick check for marks that need dealing with. Lid and seat down between visits. It's simple hygiene.

I have voted YANBU.

But YABU pouring perfectly good beer down the loo. I think you should drink it.

Shut the bathroom door so crawling baby can't get in there? He's an adult, you don't get to punish someone for not doing things the exact way you demand them to

I'm not suggesting for a second your mad, I don't know you, but... I always flush with the top seat open. What I understood perhaps niavie, was that when men left the toilet seat up was reflecting to the bottom part? As in you accidently sit down on the wide bit and almost fall into the toilet?? Is that just me?? Yeah it's annoying but they (men) have to lift it that part and we (women) have to put it down. I've never understood the big deal!! Is it just me?