The Toilet Seat Saga

[Rosebyanothername19]

Basically my husband and I have an ongoing dispute over the downstairs toilet. I have asked him a million times to put the lid down after he uses it - which is about every half hour...

I have sent him links to articles about hygiene and also put a large note on top of the toilet asking nicely to put the lid down in case he just forgets. I have pointed our that our baby is going to be crawling soon and, as the downstairs loo is between the living room and kitchen, she is probably going to end up in there numerous times.

Every request is met with an eye roll and him saying that's it's not a big deal or just ignored.

So tonight I have decided that every time he leaves the lid up I will empty a beer down the sink and leave the bottle upside down. I haven't told him this and I'm just going to start doing it and wait until he asks or realises what is going on.

AIBU?

Over the years my mother, my sisters, my ex-wife and my 4 daughters all ignored my wish for toilet seats to be left up when they finish. AIBU to think this was very disrespectful of them?

Could someone explain to me why it is so important that the lid is kept down? I have never understood, and never received an explanation

You will die! Of death! And you will ingest a cubic ton of poo particles with every breath and they will settle on your toothbrush like a radioactive cloud. And there will be piss everywhere, on everything. Did I mention you will die from it?

Get a grip OP! Glad you are not my wife. And if you wasted my beer, it would be divorce.

In my last house, we had a sort of laundry room (little extension, nothing posh!).
In this little room thing, we had a downstairs loo.
We also had a cat.
And a newborn.
To keep grumpy old cat safe and happy, he used the cat flap fitted in the door of laundry room and that room was baby free.
He could always go in there to have peace and quiet. Food, water and tray in there, away from baby.
The tiny room with the toilet in was always warm. Sun-catching window .
We didn't often use the downstairs toilet as we were at work in the daytime, or doing things with baby. So cat decided the toilet seat was a great place for naps.
Warm, safe, sunny and quiet.
When we realised this, we always made sure the seat and the lid were down when we had finished.
Apart from my now-ex.
He left lid and seat up one day.
Poor cat was not impressed!

This is from years of cleaning flecks of yellow off wall next to toilet pre my lid down order

I have white tiles next to the toilet and never have I ever had yellow flecks, or anything like that on them

I hate having to lift the lid , it has germs on it too and then you’re wiping yourself. You’re being ridiculous

Some pretty bitchy responses on here - again. It's a simple request from the OP - to deem it controlling is frankly pathetic. Living together always involves a degree of tolerance on both sides, but if one person knows the other gets upset by something as simple as this they shouldn't do it! The OP's husband is showing disrespect by not bothering even to try to understand her point of view.

"Hate having to lift the lid" "Being ridiculous?" You don't mind urine and faeces spray all over your walls, floor, clothes and toothbrush from when you flush then?! Research it! You should always close the lid - and after you "wipe" you have to wash your hands anyway! I think it's thoroughly disgusting when people don't close their toilet lids. YOU'RE being ridiculous!

I can't believe all the negatives on here. Maybe it's not important to you but it is to Rose. Pickwick, what is she to do when baby learns to open the door?
Rose, I agree with the self-closing lid and maybe switching of the phone when he's charging it. Next time he asks you to do something for him, ignore him. Keep nagging, when he asks you to stop, tell him, you'll stop nagging when he closes the bloody toilet lid.

Is that all you have to worry about youre lucky

Find a clip on YouTube of how far the spray from a flushing toilet goes. I seen it a few years back and it made me sick just thinking about it. I now have everyone who uses my toilets put the lid down, even guests or workmen I will always tell to put it down before they flush. Once he sees that it can reach the towels or tooth brushes he will soon remember to put it down.

I just watched the you tube video link that a pp sent.... It shows how toilet germs can reach toothbrush six ft distant to the loo, when it's flushed with an open lid.
I appreciate that this does not help op, as it seems it's only a toilet room & not a bathroom.
It does however demonstrate how far the germs can travel.
Folks saying that it's never harmed them in years of not putting lid down..... How can they know that?
I couldn't bear the idea of breathing in the resulting toilet juice air. YUK!

Here's a male perspective. I get that leaving the seat up would be annoying and I wouldn't do it. Leaving the lid up though..really? Nobody in our house cares whether it's up or down. Apparently there are more germs on most people's kitchen worktop than around the toilet. I do get that you don't want your toddler to disappear down there, and would take some explaining to a plumber. However I probably wouldn't even be there to witness this whingeing person going on about the effing lid day after day. (what emother petty things does she rant on about? Teabags not being stored in neat piles? Condiment bottles labels not facing forward? Then she starts pouring away bottles of beer. Wow, glad you're not my Dp! If it was me behaving like you I would expect MN to be full of people telling me to LTB . I wouldn't need the advice though, I'd leave you first! Life's too short .Get a grip!

I think the more worring thing is is "unless you do as I say ( toilet lid) I'm going to take and dispose of your stuff".
Red flag for the start off abusive and controlling behaviour.

Surely it depends on the power of your flush?

Sorry not read the whole thread as I thought it would be pages of posters telling you how awful you are. I think he should be able to remember how to do this, if it bothers you. Most people have something which seems insignificant but bothers them, if you care about the other person you accommodate it.

You do know that you can get toilet seats which lower themselves ?? After years of having this discussion I insisted that my spouse sits. Which he now does, end of problem. Yes it may seem a trivial thing but toddlers have drowned in toilets. plus who wants their knickers dipping into the puddle men often leave ? If they can't aim, bring the target closer, is what I say. Failing that, a sharp flip round the back of the head with the toilet brush may improve your mood !!!

He knows it upsets you so he should make the effort to put the lid down.
End of.

Reminds me of a comedy tv sketch. It’s the bloke moaning that once again the wife has put the bloody toilet lid down and now, middle of the night and half asleep, he has pissed all over the floor. The wife’s fault of course!

I had this with dp leaving seat up. So annoying. I used to put toilet rolls on top of the seat. Small victories and all that

'Toilet Plume' is actually thing. Anybody who flushes without the lid down is quite frankly, disgusting. When you flush, tiny particles are ejected into the air, they will land on towels, toothbrushes, taps, basically everything in your bathroom.

This is ridiculous and quite pathetic. If this is the most annoying thing in your life you are pretty charmed. There are more germs in the kitchen.

Its also handy if they leave the seat up because you can wipe a piece of toilet paper round the rim as all the males will leave a drip Ha Ha. I think men could easily come up with irritating womens period habits

Anybody who flushes without the lid down is quite frankly, disgusting.

Oh, here we go again

When your brushing your teeth later I do hope you enjoy the bits of poo on your toothbrush 💁‍♀️