AIBU to think taking a “Mental Health Day” is a bit wanky?

[Throwawaytheatre]

Honest disclaimer: I’m not trying to minimise mental illness... I’ve suffered with depression myself and attempted suicide three times since I was 16.

I work in management in a corporate environment. Over the past couple of years I’ve seen a rise in my staff (and I hate to say, it does tend to be the younger ones) taking what they call “mental health days”

Now if your mental health is so bad that you cannot get out of bed, come into work and do your job (or at least reduced duties) then you have my upmost sympathy. And when you come back, I would expect occupational health involved and a support plan to help you manage your illness.

But... you shouldn’t take a day or two off - which will have a detrimental impact on the rest of the team - just because you are bit tired or stressed. Especially as in my industry, you don’t work weekends and so are never more than five days away from your next day off.

I firmly believe that if you are capable of being in work, you should be in work. You are an adult, with contractual obligation and responsibility that you get paid to fulfil.

To further clarify; I’m talking about when members of my team call in sick for one day (often a Monday or Friday) and upon their back to work interview tell me that they were just “mentally exhausted” or “needed to recharge”, when I suggest the route of occupational health or support they don’t want that - they agree there is nothing we need to change to support them.

I had one young lady take three days sickness, go to Disneyland Paris which was plastered all over Facebook; and then upon return tell me it was a “mental health break”. She had not diagnosed condition and no intent on seeking any medical assistance she just “needed a break”

Prompted by a member of my team texting me this morning to say they will be having tomorrow off as “it’s been a stressful week, and [they] don’t feel they have fully recovered over the weekend.”

I find that if you rest when you feel you're coming down with something then it's much less likely to turn into something nasty.

I don't get this race for the bottom 'I never take time off' mentality at all.

Obviously it depends on your job but employers would be better off having more flexibility so people could work from home if they were feeling run down or work later another day. This would massively stop the spread of infections too.

I suspect the difference here is that it is the middle classes who have the luxury to take a day off when they feel a bit under the weather

I think that's probably true, however I also think that we should be fighting for better sick pay for everyone as it really is in societies best interests to have healthy happy employees.

I was raised with a work ethic. I honestly don't understand people who take time off for minor things.

I have a work ethic too!
I run two businesses, one that employs four people.

I have built these from the ground with no financial backing.

I still think that we should look after our mental and physical health as a priority. As an employer I encourage my staff to manage their own time so they can rest when needed.

I think you're right, OP, because what you are describing is not genuine mental ill health - and I say that as someone who has had to take time off for a genuine mental health crisis. What you're describing is people who over commit themselves / overdo it at the weekend and thus render themselves unfit to work and then decide to just stay in bed and let their colleagues pick up the slack. Or worse, piss off on holiday and claim that they are "sick".

People that do this are wankers, and make it harder for those of us that have real live issues.

I was raised with a work ethic. I honestly don't understand people who take time off for minor things.

So was I and have worked full time since 16 and I am now late 40s. However, my experience had shown that the odd sick days 'before' symptoms get worse is better for both the employee and employer.

The view that you have to be seriously ill and at deaths door before taking time off is one that needs to be challenged as quite frankly it's smacks as a pull yourself together attitude that if I am ok to work then everyone else should be.

I was raised with a work ethic. I honestly don't understand people who take time off for minor things.

So was I. However, nobody goes to their grave wishing they worked harder and longer hours.

Life is too short to spend it making yourself unwell for a job.

I recently left a job that was having an adverse effect on my mental health and I've since gone self employed. I handed in my notice and a sick note and I've not heard from work since. Let's stop pretending that companies give a toss about their employees - we're all easily replaced.

I was raised with a work ethic. I honestly don't understand people who take time off for minor things

I was raised with a work ethic too. Part of that work ethic is knowing that one day off when things are starting to get bad is very much preferable to six weeks off further down the line when it's unbearable.

I was raised with a work ethic. I honestly don't understand people who take time off for minor things.

I was also raised with that attitude. It's why I was sectioned for the first time, and then spent the better part of a year off work. Because people with a work ethic don't take time off just because they can't stop crying. People with a work ethic don't need to take time off to see a doctor about their stupid feelings. People with a work ethic just soldier on.

It's an intensely unhealthy attitude.

I suspect the difference here is that it is the middle classes who have the luxury to take a day off when they feel a bit under the weather

Agree and I think it's intensely unfair. I know at least one person who I met while in hospital who I am sure could work if given a modicum of flexibility. But instead she's trapped in a cycle of shit minimum wage jobs that sack her when she gets sick, so her MH gets worse which makes it harder for her to get jobs. She claims ESA now, but only after a series of appeals which were also terrible for her MH, and it's still a pretty small amount of money with the constant fear of it being stopped, especially as her condition fluctuates a lot.

I really wish there were more legal protections in place for people with MH issues who want to work.

adaline are you suggesting everyone who is stressed or tired has mental health problems? For you they might be linked but it doesn't follow that they always are.

adaline are you suggesting everyone who is stressed or tired has mental health problems? For you they might be linked but it doesn't follow that they always are.

Not at all, but sometimes those are problems you do need time off for. Since October I've been signed off work for 10 weeks with stress. My GP clearly felt I needed the time off as I didn't even ask for it, she pretty much insisted.

The World Health Organisation included 'burn-out' in its 11th ICD last year, describing it as "an occupational - not medical - phenomenon that results from chronic workplace stress that has been badly managed."

Indicators include exhaustion, feeling distant from or cynical about your job/employer and being less productive.

Not permitting people to take a day or so off when they know that they need it to prevent this is bad business sense at the very least.

All the macro research by the CPID/WHO etc show that workloads and pressures are increasing, the recession is taking its toll and more and more workers feel unable to clock off in the evenings/weekends or use all of their annual leave.

I self-employed, so don't have a horse in the race so to speak.

Just put mental health days down as sick days and let HR advise you how to manage them. Employees don't make the rules nor did they recruit themselves, so it's a bit daft to simply try to blame individuals.

I felt cynical about my employer and exhausted in my last job. Taking a day off would have made no difference as the employer was a shit one.
As you said burnout is not a medical complaint. Sick days are for people who are ill.

It's an occupational phenomenon (ie caused by work) not an individual one.

If work is making people ill, of course they should take time off.

Maybe a day off wouldn't have made a difference to you karencantobe but you know we're all different and have different experiences of mental health.

I really despise this 'oh, I didn't need to take a day off' race to the bottom mentality, whether it's about physical or mental health.

It is hard and I get where the OP is coming from.

It is yet another reason for people to just not go to work. and when it becomes more commonplace, it will become expected. I remember working in the civil service where 10 days "unquestioned" sick leave was practically added to the annual leave allowance by the lead swingers - as in they made sure they took the full 10 days!

People take advantage, and those who end up suffering are those in real need.

I have also suffered from depression in the past and I found that the worst thing was not going to work. Yes, I often didn't feel like going in but it was by far and away the best thing, to keep busy and have a distraction. if you lie at home wallowing you just feel a lot worse.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie - better let the NHS know you've found the miracle cure for depression. They can clear the psych wards of depression patients and shove them all into the nearest call centre! That'll sort them out!

Quite. That may have worked for you, but that doesn't mean that it will work for everyone.

People manage physical health problems in different ways, why is it so hard to accept that people manage their mental health differently too.

Employers need to manage people like Disneyland Paris woman based on her conduct, not assume that everyone who needs to take time off work for their mental health is on their holidays.

the worst thing was not going to work

I work in the emergency services. The last thing I want to do on my bad days is try and help people on their worst days. It's not good for us or the patients.

I suspect the difference here is that it is the middle classes who have the luxury to take a day off when they feel a bit under the weather

I suspect you're right. However I wouldn't describe myself or most of my colleagues as middle class, we just work in the NHS so have good employments t&cs.

As for the work ethic comment... I too was raised like that, my grandad would drum on about never taking off sick unless your leg was falling off. Then my nan died a year after they retired (having both worked full time most of their lives). Hes now in the dont take piss but dont kill yourself for work camp.

I have also suffered from depression in the past and I found that the worst thing was not going to work.

For me, going to work would have been the worst thing I could have done.

Funny how we're all different isn't it

After my marriage breakup, which was hideously traumatic, I ended up signed off for two weeks. It gave me time to just regroup, sort practicalities and rest while the DC were at school/nursery. I desperately need it and it probably prevented me from having a complete breakdown and needing much longer off.

LisBeth, the WW2 generation definitely did need mental health days. Not getting them was not something to aspire to. My uncle took his own life as a result of the trauma and stress he went through in the war. Maybe he would not have done it if someone had recognised that he was at breaking point and been able to do something about it.

Yes and given that stress, anxiety and depression are now the leading causes of long-term sickness absence from work, it would make economic as well as moral sense if people took odd days when they needed them before they hit long-term sickness territory.

Lots of people do, and call in with a migraine, stomach upset etc and we'll never know how many of those 'bad backs' were stress, anxiety and depression that either the person couldn't face acknowledging or their GP suggested they put on a sick note.

In December, I faked a sickness bug because of this wanky attitude. People were being cunts at work, I had a decent sized lump in my tit. I was ready to walk the day before... It was either a couple of days off or the entire 10 days or whatever it was till I was seen in the breast clinic 🙃