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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband waking me up

156 replies

Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/02/2020 08:11

Hi - I work , husband works , Saturdays we ( like a lot of people ) have football early for DS1 then afternoon for DS2 . I would like a lie in on Sunday mornings . Just till about 9 ish . Our children are old enough to get up , go downstairs and watch TV/ get their own breakfast / read . DH is not the best sleeper and Wales periodically through the night as is normal for him . He then , when he deems it a suitable time ie 715am ( 45 mins after my in the week get up time ) he ALWAYS wakes me up. AIBU to expect him to let me sleep in just for a bit even if he is awake ? Or am I being completely unreasonable ? I am prepared to be flamed but I assure you I am not lazy person and I am seeking genuine opinions . Many TIA Flowers

OP posts:
justpulledinalldirections · 09/02/2020 08:13

He needs to leave you alone to sleep. I have similar issues here

SquishyLint · 09/02/2020 08:14

YANBU. Why does he do it? I’d be livid!

Yeahnah2020 · 09/02/2020 08:14

Why the fu**ck is he waking you up? I would be furious! Have you talked to him about it? I’d start sleeping in the spare room and locking the door if my OH did that.

CheddarGorgeous · 09/02/2020 08:15

YANBU. At all. My DH has tried that and has been told firmly that if I want to stay in bed on Sunday morning that is entirely my choice!

bigchris · 09/02/2020 08:15

What a twat

How inconsiderate

Doesn't he like to be alone with the kids or something ?

Wanteddownunder · 09/02/2020 08:16

You even need to ask? Of course yanbu

Scarydinosaurs · 09/02/2020 08:16

What does he wake you up to do??

fromagefreak · 09/02/2020 08:16

What an annoying twat - he should let you wake up when you're ready.

Littlewelshridinghood · 09/02/2020 08:17

YANBU your husband is. Next time he does this tell him you're not getting up, you're having a little lie in and that he is to leave you alone

ColdCottage · 09/02/2020 08:18

YANBU he is being very selfish

FFSFFSFFS · 09/02/2020 08:22

Does another person have the right to dictate whether you are asleep or awake depending on their own needs?

Of course not. That's showing an absolute total lack of respect for your autonomy as a person. It's a really really awful thing to do.

Supertrooper98 · 09/02/2020 08:24

Why does he wake you? Just because he's awake? If he wants someone to talk to why can't he just go downstairs to his children?

Original poster
Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/02/2020 08:24

Thank you - I have to ask as,although he does not implicitly say, I feel like HE feels I have slept long enough because he has been awake on and off and is bored/ anxious / wants to talk . And then gets sad because he wonders why o wake up a bit cross. But I also work a second job 1in 3 weekends so I won't even have a whisper of a lie in for two week... Sorry for moaning . Thank you everyone , at least I don't feel like such a cow now Flowers

OP posts:
CupoTeap · 09/02/2020 08:25

What reason does he give?

CinnnemonBeauty · 09/02/2020 08:25

Wow have you asked him why he does that? That’s incredibly selfish behaviour. Have you said to him do not wake me up?

Littleshortcake · 09/02/2020 08:27

He's incredibly selfish. I would spell it out to him he's not to wake you. Especially as you wake at 6.30 during the week.

TriangleBingoBongo · 09/02/2020 08:27

My DH does this. Pisses me right off. If he’s been busy/working a lot I’ll let him lie in and take the baby downstairs so he can sleep. Often I stay out the way till 830, even 930. When it’s his turn to do the same he wakes me at 7 without fail, then announces he’s having a shower and has a list of things to do. Basically he eats his breakfast and comes back up.

Original poster
Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/02/2020 08:27

Yes I have said can you not do it as I need more sleep and he just says various things such as I am feeling anxious and I need to talk , why can't you wake up , I need you to see/hear/ watch this . Why can't you not be so cross. . it sounds silly but it is becoming more of an issue for me x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/02/2020 08:28

Triangle - how bloody annoying . It's just not a team effort for you Angry

OP posts:
missjaysays · 09/02/2020 08:31

No op. That does not sound silly? What are you talking about!!!!

If my DP woke me up repeatedly for no reason after being told not to I'd be fuming. You sound like abit of a wet lettuce, tell him to fuck off waking you up or you'll start purposely doing it to him and even more horrible times.

What a selfish twat! It amazes me what some people put up with in a relationship. Very strange!

TriangleBingoBongo · 09/02/2020 08:31

Drives me mad. Would drive me even more mad if there weren’t even any kids involved as there isn’t with you.

FATEdestiny · 09/02/2020 08:31

Is he seeking treatment for his anxiety?

I'd tell him very directly not to wake you at all, rather than speaking to him to be considerate.

He needs otger support mechanisms for his anxiety.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 09/02/2020 08:31

Deliberately depriving someone of adequate sleep/rest is quite often evidence of a form of control and abuse. Why are his needs more important than yours and why have you not been more firm in your response to him?

CouscousEvaporator · 09/02/2020 08:31

He wakes you up because he wants your attention? And sulks. Really? So immature.

I would be livid if DH did this to me. YANBU

Sparklfairy · 09/02/2020 08:32

Gosh. He's a needy little sod isn't it. Pathetic whining is not attractive