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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband waking me up

156 replies

Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme · 09/02/2020 08:11

Hi - I work , husband works , Saturdays we ( like a lot of people ) have football early for DS1 then afternoon for DS2 . I would like a lie in on Sunday mornings . Just till about 9 ish . Our children are old enough to get up , go downstairs and watch TV/ get their own breakfast / read . DH is not the best sleeper and Wales periodically through the night as is normal for him . He then , when he deems it a suitable time ie 715am ( 45 mins after my in the week get up time ) he ALWAYS wakes me up. AIBU to expect him to let me sleep in just for a bit even if he is awake ? Or am I being completely unreasonable ? I am prepared to be flamed but I assure you I am not lazy person and I am seeking genuine opinions . Many TIA

OP posts:

FATEdestiny · 09/02/2020 09:01

So this morning... has he woken you up early because he "needed you" and then gone back to sleep while you get up and start the day?

Or has he not woken you today, you just got up yourself?

LittlebitAlexis · 09/02/2020 09:01

Op go back to bed.
Tell your dp that you do not want to be woken before x time in future that you will not be in a fit state to talk through his anxiety etc before this time.
And ffs do not get up and leave him in bed. In fact call him for breakfast and then go back to bed yourself right now

Hahaha88 · 09/02/2020 09:02

Da fuq????? Seriously I would not accept this. He's not a young child and you're not his mother, he doesn't need you awake just because he is

VisionQuest · 09/02/2020 09:03

Tell him to go downstairs and talk to his children if he's that desperate.

He can't sleep, so he doesn't want you too either. Nice.

Hahaha88 · 09/02/2020 09:04

Oh and I've been up an hour with lo and my oh is still in bed. I've not felt the need to wake him

TinyPaws · 09/02/2020 09:07

My partner has woken me up at 6.30am yesterday and at 7am today. I'm 7 months pregnant and so tired I could cry. I get up at 6am during the week. She got stroppy about it too when I asked her not to. I'm furious. You have my deepest sympathies.

lowlandLucky · 09/02/2020 09:10

Anxious/bored/needs to talk !!!!!!!!Are you married to a toddler ? Tell him to eff off and grow up

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 09/02/2020 09:12

What the hell was her excuse for waking you up at that ridiculous time, TinyPaws?

Whatsnewpussyhat · 09/02/2020 09:16

There is nothing he needs to wake you up for, he is just s selfish, abusive gobshite.

Tell him in no uncertain terms that if he is awake he can fuck off downstairs and watch tv etc and leave you alone.

Can't believe he is in bed still after waking you up! Go wake the fucker and see how he likes it.

Does another person have the right to dictate whether you are asleep or awake depending on their own needs

My bloody toddler thinks so

FoamingAtTheUterus · 09/02/2020 09:16

Wel of be ripping that duvet off him. The cheeky twat.

Suewiththeredford · 09/02/2020 09:19

Horribly selfish. Is this the only mean thing he does? I bet it isn’t.

Casino218 · 09/02/2020 09:20

What a needy jerk he is. Of course YANBU.

daisychain01 · 09/02/2020 09:21

Deliberately depriving someone of adequate sleep/rest is quite often evidence of a form of control and abuse

I second this. Whether he's doing it on purpose or not, he's selfish, simple as. You need to have a candid conversation, you have just as much right to a soft start on a Sunday as he does. Maybe he's just jealous because you can sleep more easily than him.

Verily1 · 09/02/2020 09:21

What a selfish fucker!

I’d divorce someone who did this!!

TinyPaws · 09/02/2020 09:22

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily That she didn't mean to wake me up, she just wanted to relax with the blinds open (they are roman blinds and very noisy when being opened/closed, also I struggle to sleep when it's light). Yesterday she also wanted to talk to me and cuddle me. That all of this resulted in me being awake when I didn't want to be was apparently a completely unforseen side effect. 🙄

The really irritating thing is that she can (and does) nap easily, I can't. (I did nap yesterday through sheer exhaustion but felt terrible upon waking.)

Lweji · 09/02/2020 09:24

He's in bed?!
FGS, kick his arse out of it.
He's not anxious...

WhatsTheLatest · 09/02/2020 09:25

Ah I see. You are married to a 5 year old

Tombakersscarf · 09/02/2020 09:25

He sounds like a toddler.
Tell him you are available at 10am and not before.
Mine wakes me with alarms set that he doesn't actually wake up to. Why?? I will leave him over this one day.

Tombakersscarf · 09/02/2020 09:27

Tinypaws there's no excuse for that

AutumnRose1 · 09/02/2020 09:29

He sounds like a whiny child

I think I did this to my parents when I was about 4!

PlanDeRaccordement · 09/02/2020 09:30

YANBU
Everyone has different sleep schedules. I tend to be early to sleep and early to wake up. My DH is late to sleep, and late to wake up. He’s still asleep now at 10:30am and I’ve been up four hours at least.
(This is on weekends when with no school or work we can sleep when we want to)

Your DH needs to find something to occupy him until you are up. He should find a quiet activity like reading or checking face book etc.

MumW · 09/02/2020 09:31

Selfish git. Can you tell him that he either stops waking you up on the Sunday mornings you are not working or you are going to spend those nights at a friend's/relative's/hotel?
Also explicitly give him a time so "do not wake me before 11 unless there is a real emergency such as the house is on fire."

Why haven't you made him get up to do the DC's breakfast?

Walkon · 09/02/2020 09:34

If he's feeling anxious tell him to get up and go for a run.
I would not accept my DH waking me up.
I tell my kids off if they are making noise when anyone else is still asleep. My boys always wake up before my DD and I think it's disrespectful to make noise and wake her up at the weekend just because they are up.

ddraigygoch · 09/02/2020 09:38

I would honestly go nuclear one morning

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Do you understand simple English?! Do. Not. Wake. Me up. I don't give a shit what you want or what's happening fuck off and wait until I wake up on my own.
Unless the house is burning down leaving me the fuck alone"

Make it so explicitly clear.

He is being a selfish twat. And I really really wouldn't be able to have any sympathy for any of his issues if he was being so disrespectful to me.

Notlostjustexploring · 09/02/2020 09:40

I ripped right through my husband when he woke me up once. I think it might have been at the height of small baby sleep deprivation, and he was intending to be helpful I think, but I've left such an impression that I'd now be lucky if he were brave enough to wake me because the house was on fire. I'd probably have buried him under the patio by now if it were a regular occurrence. Not reasonable at all.

Go open up the windows, send the kids into jump on him and tell him to change the sheets.

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