Uninvited from party

[whattheactualreally]

I have a very flakey friend (A) who has form for making constant excuses not to meet up, not even for a quick coffee. She's never said yes to play dates for her and my daughters (similar ages) so they haven't seen each other for two years. I last saw her six months ago. She never texts to meet up, it's always me.

We have a joint friend who is utterly fed up of it too, and whom wasn't invited to friend A's big 40th bash despite knowing her since primary school.

This week I received a "save the date, invite and details to follow" text for friend A's DDs 11th birthday party. It was a pizza making party followed by a pool party at their (huge) house.

I replied the next evening saying thanks very much, it's in the diary and looking forward to receiving more details in due course.

The reply? "Hi hun, actually we have overbooked, the pizza people say it's a max of 20 and they won't go over that so because everyone else has said yes as well I'm afraid that your DD can't come now. So sorry" etc etc.

AIBU to think that (on top of crappy see-thru excuses never to meet up etc) that this is incredibly rude? I would never do that to someone.

I checked the pizza people's website - you can have another five kids for another £25.

If it were me I would have paid the extra £25 and sucked it up. They are not short of money at all so that's not likely to be the issue.

Or I would have said something like "I've been an idiot and overbooked the pizza part ...but would your DD like to come for the pool party straight after? So sorry to be a plonker."

But to uninvite her? She didn't even issue proper invites yet, it was just a save the date.

I think she invited DD by accident, perhaps she has another friend with the same name who was meant to get the text and can't own up to it.

AIBU to call time on this one sided friendship?

What’s arsehole thing to do..

If she’s flakey and never asks to meet up with you, why bother? What a horrible thing to do! I would honestly not bother with her again.

Completely call time on that “friendship”. What a rude thing to do, To ask and uninvite - that woman has no class!

Tell her to do one. What a mean thing to do. Shes not a friend

This isn't a friendship. What are you and your other friend even getting out of the little time you spend with her? How long have you known her?

It all begs the question of why you consider her a friend at all, to be honest. It sounds like she hasn't been one for some time.

Cool it off. Concentrate on your real friends and take a step back from her.

Yea I'd call it a day op. Bet if you stop messages ect she'd soon disappear. I'd organise my own day out with the other mate and kids

Flush her.

Why are you even friends with this person? I wouldn’t class her as a friend. People are so mean. Surround yourself with lovely people

I think this would probably be the last straw for me. She’s not a friend.

She’s no friend. Call it a day. Just stop contact

This person is not your friend.

I known her for over twenty years.

I mentioned our joint friend's experience to try to show that she is like this with other people; flakey and thoughtless to people's feelings. Friend B is still smarting from that snub and it's a couple of years ago.

So friend A isn't being personal it seems. She's like this with other people. And she is really nice when I see her.

But it's just constant brush offs when I ask to meet up or get the kids together. It's "oh sorry DD has an event this weekend but we should get together soon"...and then nothing. I even tried to text her to say I'd love to spend more time with her, that I miss her. Which I do.

But this latest snub is just so bloody rude. It wasn't even an invite, it was a save the date. So she has no idea how many of her "better" friends will actually show up when the real invites go out.

This is not your friend, this is an acquaintance. And not a nice one.

Forget her. She sounds a waste of time.

Ditch her. Yanbu

Did you reply to her message??

Think I’d be saying auf wiedersehen to that ‘friend’.

The fact that the daughters haven't seen each other for 2 years makes it sound a bit odd that she would be invited to the party in the first place. I think you may be right that the 'save the date' was a bit thoughtless/accidental, but presumably your daughter has better friends. A sounds like someone I would regard only as a casual acquaintance.

This is the wake up call you've been waiting for. Ditch her now.

I wouldn’t bother with her ever again. She’s no sort of friend I’d want to keep.

She’s not your friend. Friendship shouldn’t be hard work. Don’t contact her again and see how long it takes her to get in touch with you.

She’s so mean

And so brazen to not give a shit about it

I really don’t think she is your friend any more.

Yeah I would definitely bin this friend off. What are you going to say to her? ‘Right..... I will let dd know and she will be upset....understandably. As am I. I would prefer if you didn’t contact me again.’.... or do you have the strength to just ignore her?
If you do write the above she will probably minimize and just say it’s not her fault it’s the venue.
It’s such a shit thing to do!

You haven't seen her for 6 months, DD hasn't seen her kid for 2 years, & you're wondering whether to call it quits over Pizzagate?

Fuck her off OP.

Entirely your choice if you want to go for the quiet fade out or the blaze of glory.
Personally, it WOULD be glorious to just tear off the sticking plaster with a text
"Hi Friend, no surprise you have flaked out yet again, you have such form for this type of rudeness I shouldn't have expected any genuine consideration or manners from you.
Also, could you fuck off with your "hun"? Cheers, bye Felicia."