Uninvited from party

[whattheactualreally]

I have a very flakey friend (A) who has form for making constant excuses not to meet up, not even for a quick coffee. She's never said yes to play dates for her and my daughters (similar ages) so they haven't seen each other for two years. I last saw her six months ago. She never texts to meet up, it's always me.

We have a joint friend who is utterly fed up of it too, and whom wasn't invited to friend A's big 40th bash despite knowing her since primary school.

This week I received a "save the date, invite and details to follow" text for friend A's DDs 11th birthday party. It was a pizza making party followed by a pool party at their (huge) house.

I replied the next evening saying thanks very much, it's in the diary and looking forward to receiving more details in due course.

The reply? "Hi hun, actually we have overbooked, the pizza people say it's a max of 20 and they won't go over that so because everyone else has said yes as well I'm afraid that your DD can't come now. So sorry" etc etc.

AIBU to think that (on top of crappy see-thru excuses never to meet up etc) that this is incredibly rude? I would never do that to someone.

I checked the pizza people's website - you can have another five kids for another £25.

If it were me I would have paid the extra £25 and sucked it up. They are not short of money at all so that's not likely to be the issue.

Or I would have said something like "I've been an idiot and overbooked the pizza part ...but would your DD like to come for the pool party straight after? So sorry to be a plonker."

But to uninvite her? She didn't even issue proper invites yet, it was just a save the date.

I think she invited DD by accident, perhaps she has another friend with the same name who was meant to get the text and can't own up to it.

AIBU to call time on this one sided friendship?

Honestly some of these suggestions are just ludicrous. Please stop contacting me? She doesn't contact her anyway, that's the point. And this one was a mistake. Are we know b friends? What the fuck is a b friend?

Op, your approach is right, don't respond, let her go. And don't be focusing on when she will contact you again, just let her go.

Friendships move on, you need to accept this one has

IrmaFayLear the pizza invitation, and accepting OP’s invitations are the oddities in OP’s aquaintance’s handling. IME most people just stop contacting and decline any invitations.

The “tinkly laugh / must meet soon” is disingenuous too. I don’t say that if I don’t mean it - even with people I really like and WANT to see! If others say it I assume they don’t mean it unless we discuss possible dates or get in touch at some point expressing enthusiasm.

I've been on the receiving end of being sat down and given a 'this friendship is over' talk. I suspect the person involved thought it was more honest and fair than the just-distancing-oneself approach, and tbh I agree - it was unpleasant (although the friendship had in fact run its course) but at least there was no room for doubt. The thing is, in my situation there had been a friendship there. Things seem to have been drifting for the OP and her former friend for quite a while.