Basically, how do you deal with favour requests that you just don't want to do without coming across as a tight ass?
Now I know these are CF requests and I shouldn't need to do them at all, but how can I say no every single without just coming out and saying, no. I don't want to. Especially as there are some extenuating circumstances.
Upstairs neighbour died quickly of cancer 6 months ago leaving wife and teen DD. I of course offered my help in the last stages, driving them to see him at the hospital, looking after their cat for days while they stayed with him and driving the DD to her work on occasion and afterwards I offered help in a "if you need anything let me know" sympathetic way. Unfortunately they've really taken me up on it! The DD(19) and mom keep expecting lifts everywhere! Like to the shops for example because dad was the driver and now they're without personal transport. Not just a simple "if you're going to the shop let me know" type, no. It's knocking on my door asking me to get up off my couch, stick my shoes and coat on, put my cuppa down and meet them at my car to drive them 350 meters to the Costcutter so they can pick up a loaf, milk, cat food and their cigs!".
My couch faces my floor to ceiling window so even with blinds, you can see me sitting there doing nothing but watching telly. And you can see my car in the car park outside my gate so it's obvious I'm in and likely not doing anything. I can't rearrange my furniture and can't keep my curtains pulled.
They'll phone and message me in an "emergency" to drive 25 minutes there and 25 minutes back to the nearest town because they "missed the bus" and need picking up. Or call first thing to say they're stuck and in desperate need of a lift to an appointment in town and there's no bus that will get them there (true in our area if they don't bother to catch the early bus).
One time it happened I conceded but said no way can I come back for pick up from the dentists as I have X to do and won't be in and she needs to get the bus or taxi back. An hour later my phone blows up and the DD knocks on my door saying mom is stuck because her "lift fell through." It didn't. I was always the lift and she never had bus or taxi money.
Now I really, really don't want to fall out with them because other than that they're great neighbours in our block of flats but I need a more solid list of excuses. I refuse to take petrol money because the second I do, it's a service paid and I don't want them thinking I owe them X rides as they've paid.
They do me favours too but it's definitely a 90/10 split with most coming from my end because I'm probably in a better situation than them. (Ie they'd borrow milk but I wouldn't want or need to ever do that). I'm expecting to be living here for at least another 20 years so good neighbour relations are a must, plus the fact they watch my dog when I need to go visit my dying mom (I can't afford a dog sitter as we're limited income and I need to save for the flights to see her as often as possible as she's terminal)
So go on. Roast me for being too darn soft and too Britishly polite to say, "That doesn't work for me". But what would you do? Really? And not in a "hard as nails, take no shit but only online behind a screen kinda way? I need to wean them off expecting me to ferry them around.