... to try and stop my DD from turning vegan?

[ack89]

My DD recently turned 14 and has decided she wants to become vegan. I want to be supportive of her as she wants to do it for ethical reasons however I don't think I can do it. Both me and DH are meat eaters and terrible cooks so I don't think it would be possible to buy and prepare completely separate food for my DD, I also don't think we would be able to afford 2 separate weekly shops. I have told her we could support being a vegatarian but she doesn't think thats good enough. AIBU?

Just google cheap healthy vegan meals.
Ask her to create a meal plan that works with your existing shop without adding lots of extra money. Get her in the kitchen figuring out what to eat.
Maybe you and her might both enjoy learning new recipes, dinners and doing something good :)

At 14 she should be able to cook her own meals if she doesn’t want to eat what you cook and vegan food should be cheaper so the cost shouldn’t be an issue.

Have a look at bosh on YouTube and there website has many great easy to cook recipes

Your dd can share the cooking if she’s so keen

Meat is the biggest food expense so if she stops eating it you’ll save money. This is a good opportunity for you and your husband to improve your cooking capabilities, surely you also want your daughter to learn not to be rubbish at an important life skill.

Look at some meal ideas together and respect her choices. No reason it should be too complicated.

I stopped eating meat when I was 16 (granted then I can't even remember knowing what a vegan was). First thing my mum said was that I was cooking my own meals. Fine I said, and 17 years later I'm still veggie. Get her to meal plan. There are plenty of affordable vegan meals and it has become much easier to stick to in the last few years.

She's 14, respect her decision. Help her become a vegan by involving her in buying and cooking the food.

Veganism is not a bad choice, but she needs to make sure she's getting all the nutrients she needs. Work with her to make sure her diet is healthy.

If you argue with her, then your just going to be putting a barrier between you. My dw went vegetarian at about the same age, her mum supported her but her father didn't. It took a long time for her relationship with her father to recover.

Surely you don’t need to cater for this? She’s 14 so can prepare her own meals. You offer what you offer at meal times and it’s her decision whether to eat it. It’s her life choice not yours.

Being vegan isn't hard these days,its more just getting used to a different t way of shopping. Cook what you're having, replace meat with the meat free alternatives, there are decent ones out there now. You may find you even don't mind them. E.g Linda McCartney sausages, quorn chicken pieces. You can pretty much veganise anything these days. Cheaper to use lentils, chickpeas and beans though! So many quick easy meals she could make herself. Also lots of accidentally vegan snacks E.g oreos.
May I recommend oatly whole 'milk' so creamy, easiest milk to transition to in my opinion.

I would require her to write up some sample meal plans and price them out. She needs to do the work on this, both to show her plan is nutritionally sound and that it can be done in your budget.

I agree with PPs , tell her to come up with menus and costings and a list of supplements/vitamins she will need.

There is research that links restricted eating (vegetarian or vegan) with eating disorders in teenage girls so it's worth bearing that in mind.

There’s a whole raft of potential quick, easy and cheap vegan meals that she could do herself with half an hours research on google. Breakfast and sandwiches/lunch type things can often be accidentally vegan anyway or made so with a couple of simple substitutions. Evening cooked meals may need a little more forethought - but you could always just substitute in vegan alternatives eg sausages, ‘meat’balls etc......there is literally a vegan version of everything.

Is part of your reluctance due to thinking she may not get proper nutrition from a vegan diet ?

The more you try to discourage this, the more you're likely to push her into wanting to do it. So, I'd avoid trying to do this unless you are working on such a restricted food budget that you really can't accommodate any changes. I'd be clear that your kitchen is going to continue to contain meat/dairy and other non-vegan stuff.

She needs to look at a vitamin B12 supplement (and a generic vegan multivitamin might not be a bad idea). She also needs to look at how to plan her diet to get enough protein and other nutrients into it over time.

Bourbon biscuits are normally vegan, you can get a cheap vegan worcestershire sauce equivalent from Asda. You'll probably have to absorb the cost of oat/almond/soya milk, but these are becoming more widely available, even though not as cheap as cow milk. It's reasonably easy to make vegan curries. Most vegetable side dishes can be made vegan quite easily. Vegan margarine isn't too hard to find (Aldi have one, Vitalite will do from elsewhere). Nut butters are usually vegan (and contain protein).

The expensive stuff tends to be pre-packaged vegan meat and cheese equivalents, some of which you might end up using a bit as she adjusts to vegan food.

Beans - haricot etc. are a good vegan source of protein.

I write this as a meat eater who occasionally feeds vegans.

My DD wanted to be vegan when she was 14 ................I became vegetarian when I was 14 !

I convinced her to become vegetarian ( and once she was established she could become vegan )

We use Alpro Soya , DD eats a few eggs (Free Range) , I don't .

All her cosmetics etc are Cruelty Free (as are mine)

Respect her choices , help her research.

When I was 14 , two of my friends also became vegetarian but changed back after a couple of years . Mine has kept going 39 (nearly 40) years

Our DD went veggie a couple of years ago for the same reason.

We supported it.

She hinted she wanted to go vegan. DH said "fine. You shop (we will pay), you cook... I'm not cooking vegan 24/7" (lots of what we cook IS vegan, but the faff of ensuring it is... life's too short!)

She never mentioned it again

She's old enough to be cooking some of her own meals if she wants to go vegan. It's an admirable thing to do. But not if she's expecting you to then prepare different meals doubling your time spent in the kitchen and washing up!

When my DD wanted to try veganism I bought loads of alternative products so she could have a balanced diet and prep things for herself easily. She lasted 4 days. She wants to try again and I have said the only concession I will make is almond milk/oat milk (as I use that). I won’t buy all the fake cheese or coconut yoghurt etc from Whole Foods again. And she is completely cooking for herself unless I am making vegan. She has been vegetarian for years, but I don’t think she can be bothered to cook much so not sure if it will last.
Maybe try that? She has to prepare everything herself.

Make sure she supplements B12, choline and magnesium. If she doesn’t she’ll get Sick and moody. Good luck x

That's fine if she wants to become vegan however she can't expect others to change their diet just because she wants to. Ask her what cheap staples she wants you to buy and she can sort her own meals out.

At 14 nutrition is all important, she'll need to find out what she needs and what she's getting from her food and what supplements she'll need.

I would let her do as she wishes, but tell her she cooks her own meals. Maybe she can meal plan, and add her ingredients to your weekly shopping list. If she isn't eating meat, and as others have said, I expect your food bills will go down.

I did it for my then 16 yr old, told her i would buy her food but she had to cook it. This only lasted for 2 yrs, thank god.

Get her to think about meals that would be acceptable to the whole family and meals that can be split to have a vegan option and a meat option. You could maybe agree that you will all eat vegan, say 2 nights a week, but that you want to be able to eat non vegan the rest of the week. So, you could for instance have a meat free chilli one night, either using a mince substitute, or, more healthily in my opinion, one made with beans and vegetables. Another night maybe a korma. You would all have the same sauce and rice, but you and DH have chicken whilst DD has tofu. You could have burgers another night. You have beef, she has a vegan burger. Pasta with a tomato based sauce and put some tuna or cooked meat into yours at the end of cooking, after you have taken DD's serving out of the pan. Jacket potatoes and salad....she has hers with beans, you get beans and cheese. Lentil shepherds pie is easy and tasty for everyone. Vegetable curry, either for everyone or you add some meat or fish to yours..etc etc.
I do this kind of thing frequently, not because we have a vegan in the house, but because my son has multiple food allergies. The principle is the same though, and it works quite well.
It is true that a lot of substitutes are quite expensive, but there are cheaper and healthier ways to eat vegan, using fresh veggies plus pulses, beans etc, which could actually reduce your food bill. Make it clear to her that she needs to eat a healthy and balanced diet and that she has to stay within budget. So planning a week that involves her having a vegan ready meal every night is not on. Some of the substitutes are very nice (and some are ghastly!) and its ok to have them for some meals, but obviously not all. The "free from" aisle often has vegan things in by the way, though they are not directly marketed as such.
Agree a time frame for a trial - a month maybe - and the minimum effort she has to put in in terms of meal planning and cooking. If she is really committed then she will be prepared to put the work in, which could bring your bills down, get her helping with the cooking and help you all learn some new recipes and more about nutrition. If she isn't committed she will quickly learn that it is hard work and she will be omnivorous again within days, but it will be her decision and not your fault! So you've got nothing to lose by giving it a go really. Just dont go overboard buying loads of special ingredients at the beginning, annd don't waste money on recipe books as there are lots online.

It’s really easy to cook for both together. I think it’s more about being open to looking through different options.
I don’t ever cook different meals but have changed the way I cook for example different pans at the same time.
It’s also much cheaper not buying meat or buying less meat just don’t be conned into buying the vegan alternatives when it’s not necessary

At 14 she can easily learn to cook for herself and even the whole family. Depending on your style of cooking, it might not be so hard to cook meat and meatless versions of a recipe.

Naturally vegan food can be quite cheap. The trendy artificial meat substitutes and plant milks not so much.