... to try and stop my DD from turning vegan?

[ack89]

My DD recently turned 14 and has decided she wants to become vegan. I want to be supportive of her as she wants to do it for ethical reasons however I don't think I can do it. Both me and DH are meat eaters and terrible cooks so I don't think it would be possible to buy and prepare completely separate food for my DD, I also don't think we would be able to afford 2 separate weekly shops. I have told her we could support being a vegatarian but she doesn't think thats good enough. AIBU?

Would be easier if she transitioned to veganism slowly. I was in a cooking rut and Googled vegan recipes for something different and we now eat vegan 3 times a week, I don't use meat subs because frankly they are rank IMO.

One of my DC has a dairy and soy allergy; we use oat milk and all of us now prefer it to cows milk, Aldi and Lidl do their own version for less than a quid.

It sounds like a good time for you to change your eating habits too and switch a couple of meals a week to vegan ones too.
What about making some simple changes to begin with. Buy flora butter, plant milk, alpro yogurt etc
It may sound daunting but once you learn about the diet more it will be easier.
Simple meals to switch meat for would be- sausage and mash, roast dinner, fishless fingers and chips, spag Bol. And lots of fruit and veg of course.

Well said Juliette20
There is no excuse for anyone to be a terrible cook. Lazy or CBA to read a recipe yes, but unless the OP and her husband are dyslexic they can read a recipe and make an effort. I would also recommend watching the Bosh guys making some easy and imaginative recipes on Facebook/YouTube. They currently have a TV series on ITV on Sunday mornings.

I second the idea of focussing on cooking vegan and adding a piece of meat, fish or cheese where appropriate for the non vegans. We all need to eat less meat anyway.

And yes to getting the 14 year old to get involved in meal planning and looking for recipes.

If you're a 'terrible cook' her diet probably wasn't that great anyway. Take this as a fresh start and learn with her. You don't need to change your diet obviously but just getting involved and encouraging can go a long way.

her cosmetics etc are Cruelty Free.

Cosmetics tested on animals are not allowed to be sold in the EU.

^ That was meant to be in asterisks, not brackets.

It sounds like a good time for you to change your eating habits too and switch a couple of meals a week to vegan ones too.

This

If you're a 'terrible cook' her diet probably wasn't that great anyway. Take this as a fresh start and learn with her.

And this

This is an opportunity

My response would be well your cooking and shopping for yourself then within a set budget. She can choose to be vegan but she dont choose for the house.

I have no desire to cook or eat vegan, no desire to spend extra time shopping reading labels, no desire to increase time spent in kitchen cooking/prepping/cleaning. I hate cooking with a passion.
I have no moral or ethical issues with meat and dairy. It's a diet of choice to me.
I only cater for allergy or intolerance or health issues.
I'm so glad dd shows no interest in a vegan or even vege diet lol Be a cold day in hell before she gives up chicken nuggets and chocolate.

MongerTruffle the final product won't have been, but the base ingredients may have been separately tested on animals. Plus if the brand sells in China it will be tested on animals outside of the EU for that market as it's a requirement under Chinese law.

OP - at age 14 she is old enough to learn to meal plan, shop and cook for herself. The Bosh Healthy Vegan cookbook is really good - the big Bosh recipe book is excellent but lots of the recipes take quite a while to assemble, whereas the Healthy Vegan one is aimed at quicker weeknight meals. If she does decide to go vegan she needs to take a supplement to make sure she's getting enough choline, magnesium and B12 (although the latter is often a feature in fortified cereals, oat milk and is present in Marmite).

I totally agree with the posters that vegan food is NOT expensive if you avoid ready-made stuff. Plant milk has a longer shelf life than most cow’s milk, and it is often fortified, too. We’re not vegan, but we have dramatically cut down on meat and dairy - it’s almost never in the house. We like both oat milk in tea and coffee, and cashew milk in cereal.

Vegan food can be incredibly healthy if planned right.

This really does sound like a great opportunity for all of you. She can start helping planning and preparing her own meals. Maybe you can start being a better cook! Or, if you’re not into cooking, that’s totally fine. She can cook her own food. That sounds like a really amazing life skill for her, at 14.

(And yes - saying you’re a terrible cook does make it sound like she doesn’t eat well at the moment... I’m imagining lots of ready-made stuff like fish fingers?)

I would also sit down with her, and our trusty friend Google and work out what nutrients she will need to make sure she gets. Vitamin b12, sources of complete proteins in quinoa or soya fir example and calcium. My concern would be that she's only 14 and still growing. I'd be more concerned with making sure her meals are getting her all the nutrients she needs and not just the logistics of it.

Good luck and hope it all goes well

My daughter wanted to become vegan and I explained that when she leaves home and cooks and shops for herself, then that's the time. I am not prepared to change the whole household's way of doing things. We only have meat 2 or 3 times a week maximum anyway, plenty of vegetarian meals and I said I was happy to do some vegan meals when I had time. I did let her switch to soya milk and margarine but the rest of the time, I'd like her to do what the family does. Plenty of time for it when she is older!

14 is a great age to start to learn to cook seriously. At 17 or 18 she may be off to Uni or something and will be able to easily cater for herself. I think a good system might be that a few times a week she cooks a vegan meal that everyone will like e.g. Pasta bake, veggie curry and saves herself a few portions to freeze, on other days you and dh can cook something that isn't vegan and heat up one of her batch cooked meals.
I do agree with asking her to transition slowly so that you have time to get used to the new system and if one day you accidentally buy some non vegan products or something it won't be a bit deal.

Cook both together, check out Bosh, get her to start planning and cooking her meals.
Being vegan is actually much cheaper as it’s based on so much plant stuff, so even chucking in the odd special cheese and oat milk will be cheaper.

Maybe you’ll start eating some vegan/ veggie food too... it’s actually pretty tasty and easy to make. Veggie meals can be turned into vegan ones quite easily sometimes

I think your DD should be allowed, and expected, to have her own ideas about what she wants to eat, especially if it's an ethical decision. It wouldn't be fair to discourage her. I wasn't much older than your DD when I started making a lot of my own food, not because I was vegan, but in my case because my mum's cooking was limited to the meat and two veg variety and, while I was very grateful, I wanted to try new things.

We eat lots of vegan meals even though none of us are vegan. I was vegetarian for many years and am much more confident cooking vegetarian and vegan meals. They are easy, cheap and tasty. Help your DD find some recipes. Maybe she will get excited at the prospect of cooking and will make something for the family. You and your DH can always have some meat added if you don't fancy doing without it. You might be surprised at how little you miss the meat though.

I went vegetarian at 14 and was expected to cater for myself 5 days a week - my parents agreed to make veggie food for the whole family 2 days a week. I made 6 portions at a time of freezable meals and always had plenty of choice from the freezer. a 14 year old is quite capable of this - and if they aren't yet then they can't go vegan until they have the capability to be responsible for the bulk of the necessary effort.

I would also say you will agree and respect her decision but she must meal plan and work out what she is eating and what she will have for snacks. I would buy a vegan cookbook and get her to write a list of ingredients that you will need for the week. I would then decide to eat at least 2 of those meals myself and agree to cook those nights. The other 5 nights she must make her own meals. Does she actually eat quite a lot of fruit and veg already? If so this won’t be too bad.
Two of mine over the years have gone vegetarian or vegan but I feed a family of 6 so if they do they have to pitch in and look after themselves to some extent. None have lasted. I was vegetarian for years, I find that so much easier than vegan, could you persuade her to start with that?

i'm a life long veggie and have cut out all 'obvious' dairy, no 'visible' eggs, butter milk or cream and replaced with the vegan, it was dearer to start with but the cost is now leveling out and it is easier than going straight to vegan.
random that's awful ! glad it worked out in the end though,

I went veggie at about that age (a little younger) and just took over my own cooking mostly. My big sister bought me some good basics books (still have them) and I used to work my way through them on Saturday afternoons and freeze food.

‘Living on the Veg’ tomorrow on itv at about 10, or 10.30 is a vegan cookery show, get her to watch that and choose one recipe.

I'd let her, myself, but it would be on the proviso that she did the work, choosing recipes, helping cook the food, making sure she got the right nutrients, etc. I'd help, but the learning would be her task and shed need to be responsible. We eat vegan two or three times a week here without it wing "a thing" - it just happens that veg chilli is vegan, for example. I'd definitely reinforce that its her health so she needs to be responsible. She needs to ensure she takes suppliments, (which ones?). She needs to ensure she protects her bone strength, so where will her calcium come from? Her job to find that out and teach you. Its a massive learning curve, one that she won't baulk at if its truly important to her. If she can't be bothered, then that's your answer.

There is tons of info out there now and most restaurants offer vegan options. Get her to do some research. No reason at all why she shouldn’t be vegan. It just takes a bit of getting your head around.

You could all eat vegan a couple of nights a week then adapt family meals for her other times. Eg, if you are having a cooked breakfast - beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, potato waffles/hash browns and toast is all vegan. Just add bacon to yours (if you must). If you are having a roast dinner, add extra veg and include vegan sausages for her. Oat milk is my preferred milk sub. A good all rounder. Some gravy granules are vegan. Flora is all vegan - even flora buttery which is lovely. Most bread is vegan. Make sure she eats lots of plants. Lots of stuff on youtube. Cooking from scratch is healthier than the processed stuff. Use brown rice/pasta. Add lots of beans and greens. Vegan pasta dishes, curries, stews, soups, big salads (with beans and grains) all easy to make and really tasty. Make extra portions for the freezer so that if you want a meaty meal she has something to have. Hummus.

Websites:
Cooking on a bootstrap
Vegan womble
Veganuary

Get her a B12 supplement or veg1 from the vegan society unless she is eating lots of fortified products (cereals, marmite, nutritional yeast, plant milk).

You will all be healthier if you eat more plants and it is better for the planet (as well as the ethical reasons).

YouTube has loads of channels. Cheap Lazy Vegan is good, and I love Pick Up Limes too. For information, Unnatural Vegan covers a lot of the science, nutrition and ethical stuff. Be aware that some "vegan" channels are pretty much how-tos for disordered eating. Freelee The Banana Girl springs to mind.....

Any diet which requires you to carefully plan for the right intakes of various proteins etc and requires you to take additional supplements is not a healthy diet and certainly isn’t one which I would encourage in my house.

Vegetarian - fine. Vegan, absolutely not. It’s madness and is IMO a bit of a fad which will probably have been replaced by something else in a few years time.

As for posters saying “maybe this is a chance to start eating some vegan meals” Why? The OP is not vegan. Many here are not vegan. The majority of ethical issues such as long-hall imports of many products and over-processed foods have been brushed under the carpet in the name of “but it’s not feeding into the meat/dairy industry,” but there are definite issues such as environmental factors which appear to have just been overlooked.