Partner and csa payments

[Justaquery88]

Ok so before I get flamed here is the background

My partner has an 11 year old daughter with ex she has remarried she earns 40k and her husband around the same. They holiday three times a year money is not short at all.

We have three kids together and partner has to pay csa £300 a month but we are in a very bad financial state atm. His ex says he only has him one night a fortnight this is not true but without a court order to prove she’s lying csa won’t listen.

We are in debt can’t afford luxuries for our own three no holidays in a few years. If we pretended that we broke up he would have to pay me csa and his payments to her lowered.

Morally yes this is wrong but she is not a nice person to us at all

Legally where do we stand? No we won’t be claiming benefits or anything like that just csa which he will pay me
And I’ll put into the family joint account

So take photos of the dc on days he has contact(which will have a date/time) alongside a diary

What's your household income?

He earns £39k and I earn £32k

This year due to family circumstances changing beyond our control extra childcare payments etc has screwed us financially

My ex's dp could have written this. He spent years not paying a single penny, deliberately moving jobs all the time so the csa couldn't catch up with him. He choose to have another two kids he couldn't afford (bit like you) on top of the three he already had. I have no sympathy op, and I hope that if you do choose to be morally wrong, the law will catch up with you as well. Do not come complaining that you can't afford children already born when you then went on to have three more.

I thought csa payments were a % of salary? If that’s the case then the payment should not leave you in financial hardship. Although this sounds incredibly rude, your partner has a duty to support the child he does have before he goes on to have more.

What his ex and her partner earn is irrelevant. Their financial position does not mean your partner shouldn’t pay to support his own child.

Surely you looked at money before having children? The maintenance went down as the site would say each extra child you had. Just like childbenefit it’s lower for each extra child.

Just because the mum has money doesn’t mean the dad doesn’t have to pay. You need to sort out the actual time he does have her but that won’t reduce the payment by much either.

You have a family income of 71k, why is the £300 causing such a problem?

@Waxonwaxoff0 :And if your partner can't afford to financially support his first child maybe he shouldn't have had 3 consecutive children.

^^ This.

Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Trying to deprive his daughter. His choice to go on and have 3 additional children. He has an obligation to support his daughter and £300 is nothing (bet his ex is paying much more than that to support their daughter).

Surely if you "broke up" you'd have two homes to pay for between you i.e. two lots of rent, rates, council tax etc? I cant see how those additional expenses would come to less than what your DP pays for his 11yo DD.

You have 71K and your arguing over a couple of £100 a month. No wonder the families hate each other.

So you both earn enough money and so does the ex, still doesnt make it right. £300 isnt much out of all that money.

Obviously we wouldn’t want to deprive her. When the child spent Xmas in Dubai, is going skiing for mid term and has a two week holiday in Florida in the summer the child is not deprived at all believe me

The amount should be lowered because has has three children living with him anyway. My exH lives with his partner’s two DC therefore is allowed to pay me less which is totally wrong imo but there you go.

If your DP has an issue with the amount he pays he needs to take it to court really. £300 a month for one child is a lot, he must be a high earner for CMS to suggest that amount. I get less than that for three DC who never stay over at his.

A household income of £71k! £300 a month is nothing out of that.

Yeah because her mum and step dad bust a gut to provide that while you want to take away £300 a month 😂 laughable.

As I have said this last year situations came up beyond our control re child care and other things. When we were having the children we obviously felt we could afford things but sometimes in life things happen that u can’t control

Oh just read you have a combined income of 71k 😂, how are you struggling then? Wtf.

But what her mum can afford when it comes to holidays etc is irrelevant. You seem jealous that she is able to take her dc to nice places.

Don't get yourself into trouble by pretending to split up, trying to keep up the lie will cause you more stress.

You have to accept that the £70 weekly includes a contribution to your dsd's housing, clothing as well as food. It's irrelevant how much her dm and dsf earn. You need to get some advice and apply to reduce the cost. Unfortunately it's very difficult when one partner is in a better financial situation.

My partners mother died and she looked after our children