To be bothered by this comment re extended breastfeeding?

[bingbangbing]

Possibly being a bit sensitive but it has slightly changed how I view someone I considered a friend.

Met up with a mum friend i hadn't seen in awhile. General chat about how our kids were doing, sleeping, nursery etc

She asked how long I breastfed my son for, I answered truthfully that we stopped when he was two.

Her reply was well "it clearly didn't do him any harm!" And burst out laughing.

AIBU to find this a bit hurtful?

You're correct that boxes exist, but I think we should strive to avoid them as much as possible - yes, all humans have unconscious bias, but we should try not to let it influence how we react to, e.g. other parents, people who are different from us.

I'm personally very career-focussed, and am still breastfeeding DS who is 2.6. I also still use a sling often, because I live in the countryside and enjoy hiking etc. I'm not a hippy!

@LolaSmiles

I'm going to quote myself now. From 7:35

"We're all stereotypes to a certain degree- tho most of us pick and choose bits from the various approaches."

Whatsername177 That’s not quite what happened With that mum in the shop from what I read, but that’s not what this thread is about

OP there is nothing wrong with being any of those things, but setting mothers up in opposition to each other based on those things (which is what you did, even if you try to deny it) is incredibly unhelpful and also doesn’t reflect many women’s experiences

There's nothing wrong with being either of those things but there's plenty wrong with suggesting mothers can/should only be one or the other.

She’s into her career?

Ugh. Those women are the WORST. They never ever give a shit about their kids. And IME they just will not swap their briefcases for a sling, no matter how many copies of Dr Sears you sling their way.

OP. Sorry you had to encounter one.

But really well done you on doing Mumming just brilliantly!

We do have very different approaches to parenting.
I'm basically your stereotypical sling-wearing hippy and she is more career driven.

Because here you’re putting your own perceived stereotypes (which may not exist for the person you’re talking about) against each other and you’re automatically insinuating that one of these stereotypes is good and one bad because you took offence at their again, perceived, behaviour. So yeah, you’re offensive because you’re saying that your ‘career driven’ friend is in some way offensive towards you because you’re a hippy that breastfeeds.

Put even more simply than that, there’s nothing wrong with the term hippy if that’s what you want to use in relation to yourself but I don’t call me a hippy because I’m not, even if you may think I am.

I can’t decide if you’re being obtuse, getting off on the reaction to your little story or are just a bit dim but you certainly have a chip on your shoulder when it comes to other humans beings and that chip feels a lot like the one that breeds prejudice.

Homeopathy is about as natural as a packet of wine gums

Fave sentence of the day.

From a sling wearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping mom who has a full time job and is fucking exhausted

@Fivetillmidnight

Sling wearing is evidence based (for lots of reasons, not least that babies who are carried in slings cry less) . WHO recommends breastfeeding until at least two, based on their own research and evidence. Evidence supports sling-wearing breastfeeding hippies.

Okay, well let's say BF is the biological norm until around six years, so BF until two is 'restricted' rather than 'extended'.

I don’t see the negative in that comment?

I think you’re creating a negative association, because you know that breastfeeding up until that age may bring about debate.

It’s not deemed to be nutritionally beneficial at that age and you expect people to have an issue with it, hence you get defensive.

It’s no ones business as long as you and lo were happy. I do however think you’re thinking far too much in to that off the cuff comment

I think you were being over sensitive and she was being nice.

I also find it odd that baby wearing is still being attributed to being hippyish. Everyone I know with a small baby (especially if it’s no.2) has a sling. They are all very different people. Using a sling isn’t a tribal lifestyle choice- it’s a practical mode of transportation. My first hated it and it was never used but my second lived in it. I haven’t suddenly joined the ‘hippy’ tribe because my sling has been used. (Although my second is no-where near as advanced with her gross motor skills so would be interested to know if the sling has had an effect).

Six? I haven't heard that before. Got a link?

My son was four when I encouraged him to stop, you can imagine the comments.

I breastfed until 4.5, and got promoted twice during that time. Go me and my hippy career driven ways!

Don’t be lazy! Just google the 6 thing. I can’t believe anyone who breastfeeds for 2 years and identifies as a hippy hasn’t considered across the natural term articles themselves.

Natural weaning is betw 2 and 7 yrs old so I wouldn't consider 2yrs to be particularly extended breastfeeding but it is certainly fantastic. I wouldn't really have taken her comment negatively, just a bit ignorant maybe, not thought out.

From a - career driven mum who went back to work after 6months yet bf for 5yrs (well 2 of my children weaned at 5yrs old, my 3yrs old son is still breastfeeding) and never figured out prams so stuck to sling/baby carriers, co-sleeping and probably quite a bit attachment patently - not hippy tho.

We do have very different approaches to parenting

I'm basically your stereotypical sling-wearing hippy and she is more career driven

Gosh. You do realise that “career driven” doesn’t actually tell you anything about her approach to parenting, don’t you?

Is your child overweight? It sounds to me like the comment was pertaining to his size.

That term "natural" again.

It means fuck all, you know.

Any article that starts out with that bollocks I'm likely to ignore.

Anything that was a proper study would be nice.

WHO is two years. Like to know where the six came from.

People really hate the word hippy, why?

Natural ie child-led - studies show child led weaning happens between age 2 and 7yrs of age.
WHO says minimum of 2yrs.
I think the average worldwide is indeed around 5 but I'd have to check.

Not sure why the anger?

Why the chip on your shoulder about the word natural?!
I fed for 4.5 years and the weaning wasn’t natural.
Unless natural covers me saying, “dude, I’m about done with this - if you’re OK to stop, the breasts are thinking they’d get you a present each”. Done deal. Two Disney princess items later, and she was weaned

Yeah it's wierd, mention the word "hippy" and people see red.

Possibly they went to schools where it was used as an insult?

Child-led is a better and more accurate term than "natural".

Sounds like she thinks he looks healthy and well fed.

I'd not drop the friend for her comment

@Ellisandra

What is unnatural about doing it that way?

What?

"Naturally", our earliest ancestors were primarily scavengers. Stone tools probably came about to break open the bones of rotting carcasses, left by other predators on the African planes.

Strictly speaking, wearing clothes and living in houses isn't natural.

It's a marketing term. Stick it on yogurt, not people.