To be bothered by this comment re extended breastfeeding?

[bingbangbing]

Possibly being a bit sensitive but it has slightly changed how I view someone I considered a friend.

Met up with a mum friend i hadn't seen in awhile. General chat about how our kids were doing, sleeping, nursery etc

She asked how long I breastfed my son for, I answered truthfully that we stopped when he was two.

Her reply was well "it clearly didn't do him any harm!" And burst out laughing.

AIBU to find this a bit hurtful?

Bizarre that she laughed. Unless she’s one of those tiresome people who laugh at their own allegedly humorous comments.

Maybe try and avoid the subject of feeding in future!

The WHO recommends breastfeeding up until 2 years old - it shouldn’t be seen as something out of the ordinary.

I read that as a compliment!

I had a driving lesson just a few days after giving birth. My instructor (male) asked if I was breastfeeding. I said yes. He smiled approvingly and said “Well it never did mine any harm” which I took to mean that it was a good thing, or at least fine!

I seriously doubt your friend thinks that it could be a bad thing; rather, she is aware that others have criticised breastfeeding after a certain age, so is saying “they’re wrong: look at this lovely healthy child”

Oh op, I think there was one judgemental person in that conversation and it was you.

Well OP it was you who brought different approaches into it in the first place with your hippy vs career driven 'bollox', so maybe you should have decided you didn't give a fuck before you did that eh?

Sounds like a compliment to me. My friend still breastfeeds her 3 year old, and I have to say I'm finding it increasingly uncomfortable when we're in public. He can be sat in a chair and she's stood over him with her boob out so he can feed. We get a lot of funny looks from people in the garden centre!

It sounds to me like she has heard unsupportive comments about " extended" breastfeeding ( hate that term. It is hist breastfeeding, really).
And she is basically saying " ha! You have proved the nay sayers wrong".
I BF my son til he was 16 months old. My French family thinks it's bonkers.
I find people in the UK a lot more open about it but of course there is a lot of ignorance around it.
I must say, breastfeeding til 2 seems pretty standard to me.
I know people are shocked by kids aged 3 and above being breastfed ( it's not for me if I'm being honest but it's no one's business but the child and mother)
Anyway, people make stupid comments.

Well, you sound charming 🤨
No one here tried to put any style of parenting against another - except you with your ‘veiled’ snark comment.

Another one who is hmmmm at the dichotomy comment about the sling-wearing "extended" breastfeeder and the "career" woman. I was back at work in a very demanding career less than three months after DS was born AND I wore him in a sling every moment I wasn't working and breastfed him till 2. And I am old enough not to consider "hippy" a pejorative term but a good thing!

Agree this is not something to get upset about. Just tactless perhaps.

Stealth brag

We are rapidly approaching the point at which we only have set, pre authorised statements we can make to each other.

Perhaps the government should issue a formal list?

Oh and also, I do extended breast feeding, wear a sling and am also career driven I’ve found the self proclaimed ‘hippy types’ are generally judgemental twats themselves.

@puds11

Oh the irony...

I would interpret this as her saying your son looks big and healthy - ie a compliment. I do see that it was a strange way of phrasing it but I think she was probably either (1) a bit suprised at your answer but wanting to show that she was not being judgmental or (2) felt that you said it in a way that was a bit embarrassed and wanted to show you did not need to be.

I have definitely encountered judginess about extended breastfeeding, but I don't think this was really it.

By the way, I am a working mother who breastfeeds - it's not some obscure art that can only be practiced by those who are in tune with the mother goddess!

@bingbangbing nah I’m fine with it

Why did this offend you, I genuinely don’t understand? I think she meant he looks healthy and well, she didn’t mean anything bad.

Ahem, natural term breastfeeding not 'extended'.

HTH.

What’s wrong with saying “extended” breastfeeding? Genuinely puzzled.

Extended implies beyond the natural point, when it's quite the opposite, and therefore has negative connotations from the off. Like it's forced. Natural-term is more accurate.

I fed my DC until he was 2.5 years. Some people were/ are horrified. Fuck them

What @SmellMySmellbow said.
Extended makes it sound “longer than normal”
I call it “stop when you/ baby want”

Thanks. I’ll bear that in mind. Don’t want to offend anyone.
If you do a google, though, extended breastfeeding is generally defined as going past the 12 month stage - on Wikipedia amongst other sites.
It could be called extended not because it goes beyond natural term, but because it goes beyond a society’s norm or average too, possibly?

BTW I did actually BF 3 of my 5 DC for more than a year myself. Can’t say I was too bothered by what anyone called or thought about it!

Thanks. I’ll bear that in mind. Don’t want to offend anyone.
If you do a google, though, extended breastfeeding is generally defined as going past the 12 month stage - on Wikipedia amongst other sites.
It could be called extended not because it goes beyond natural term, but because it goes beyond a society’s norm or average too, possibly?

BTW I did actually BF 3 of my 5 DC for more than a year myself. Can’t say I was too bothered by what anyone called or thought about it!

Thanks. I’ll bear that in mind. Don’t want to offend anyone.
If you do a google, though, extended breastfeeding is generally defined as going past the 12 month stage - on Wikipedia amongst other sites.
It could be called extended not because it goes beyond natural term, but because it goes beyond a society’s norm or average too, possibly?

BTW I did actually BF 3 of my 5 DC for more than a year myself. Can’t say I was too bothered by what anyone called or thought about it!

Thanks. I’ll bear that in mind. Don’t want to offend anyone.
If you do a google, though, extended breastfeeding is generally defined as going past the 12 month stage - on Wikipedia amongst other sites.
It could be called extended not because it goes beyond natural term, but because it goes beyond a society’s norm or average too, possibly?

BTW I did actually BF 3 of my 5 DC for more than a year myself. Can’t say I was too bothered by what anyone called or thought about it!