Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

'Share the load'
I think you're mistaken op, there's hardly a massive physical effort with driving! I learnt to drive in my mid twenties, wasn't fortunate enough to have the spare money until then. It's been life changing and amazing, I have no idea how I coped without it. However, I didn't learn to drive to ease my poor, suffering dhs driving load.

I can see where the OP is coming from. Driving is a life skill that I feel you owe it to yourself and others to acquire if you can . People are very defensive about justifying their lack of driving license probably because many (not all) of them know that if they really pushed themselves to overcome their reservations, then they could.

You realise that traffic pollution actually kills people, right?

A few weeks ago, my own son started having an asthma attack standing at the bus stop, because of the traffic fumes.

FFS.

I worked in rural France I didn,t drive, I lived with my Colleague, worked with them and was reliant on transport. (Not much public transport there.) That was enough to make me want to learn to drive. Also Friends getting annoyed as one can,t share the driving.

Trying to encourage ds1 partner to learn to drive

As someone who has been on the receiving end of this, I'd advise you against this. I LOVE my MIL to an almost unheard of extent and I nearly had to stop talking to her because she would not give it a rest.

I was a lot fitter - and slimmer - before I passed my driving test. Driving has made me really lazy, it would do me no end of good to walk everywhere like I used to.

What a bizarre OP.

Passed my test ay 31 had ddaged2 at the time and was pregnant. I am glad I have done it. I am pleased i have this skill. However, i fully understand why people don't want to learn:

• expensive to learn
• expensive to maintain/insure a car and decreases in value yet continues to cost
• most people on road are crap drivers

Environmental concerns; as I have at least 1 leg, functioning eye etc I walk, or use public transport. So do my children. My husband thinks this is fine but will be touched by your concern, really. Glad you’re here to tell us how to step out if the 50’s and be proper feminists though.

I understand your point boris

We encourage it when he (Ds1 partner) brings it up

He is keen...just can’t afford it at the moment, it is very expensive to be fair

I was told by a friend once that my not putting petrol in the car was setting back feminism by 100 years

Slight exaggeration i feel

1. I'm dyspraxic
2. we couldn't afford to run two cars anyway

I’d rather walk and get the fresh air and exercise. We really, really don’t need more cars on the road. Pollution.

I passed at 17 and paid 1000 insurance for first year, dropped to 600 by the time I was 23 (but changed to a much bigger engined car), DH still dosent drive and its definately on the to do plan for him as I cant cope with being the only driver as it sends me batty being the one who always has to "nip" out when he forgets to tell me he needs something if I do a food shop on the way home

My mum MADE us learn at 18 as she didn't start learning until she was 40 and didn't want us to wait that long. I didn't want to learn at all but glad i did. Especially in this day and age

In a city with good transport, it’s easier to take public than drive. So where’s the incentive? Outside of towns, more of a problem. So then you learn.

I'm going to do my very best to make sure my children can drive before they leave home. We're in the fortunate position to be able to afford this.

Ideally they won't need to drive much as an adult and could use public transport. Fine if the choose not to drive but it's ridiculous to say it's better to be unable to drive.

KenDodd my dad thought the same, so I got lessons at 17 and passed at 18. Didn’t drive again till 30s and had forgotten everything so had to learn all over again.

After failing 7 times I thought driving was not for me. I could drive but went to shit on my tests 🙄

I tried three times at ages 17-18 and failed as my nerves and asthma made it impossible. After my second miscarriage at age 34 I took the bull by the horns as they say and learnt in an automatic and passed first time! (Had a lot of support ) and never looked back. Thank goodness I did as getting my kids about is so important as buses here are rubbish. I do think it’s down to confidence x

I have no desire to drive tried it didn't enjoy it

I think your rude, so because nothing is wrong with me Ishould be able to drive....

Well sorry but I don't and you want to know why, because I have never been able to afford to take my lessons and now I am busy with my 3 children. Yes I wish I could drive, would make life easier for me and my children when my husband is working but never mind, maybe 1 day I'll get round to it so for now if my husband is here I'll just continue walking everywhere I need to go...

*husband isn't here

I can drive but only if I have to. Much prefer to walk every time.

Well you are correct in that learning would help ease your burden. However, you will be surprised how some people lack that natural confidence to drive and even have a phobia about learning to drive leading to having to drive. If money is not the issue then ask what is and see if you can get empathy to perhaps persuade! If not then something is up!

I have a few friends that cant/dont drive and few that do not wish to learn. I dont see it as a problem. some have no eye to hand co-ordination. another tried and failed her test 4 times with nerves. their choice surely, so long as they dont expect to be driven everywhere.