Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

Just wanted to add that if someone receives higher rate PIP for the mobility section they can nominate a family member as driver for a Motability car. Motability will pay for lessons and tests for the nominee, on the proviso car is used to ferry the claimant around.

Unless they've changed the terms of the lesson funding in the last couple of years, they only offer 20 lessons of 2 hours duration, no help with the cost of theory or practical, you have to pass within a year, you have to have already committed to a vehicle contract and it's only available in respect of young disabled people wanting to drive - anybody older who didn't get their licence before becoming disabled and it's tough luck.

Oh, I forgot - and you need to also be in receipt of means tested benefits.

Great for people who fall within all those categories - including being able to afford to gamble on being able to pass the test or have somebody else who could drive it in the meantime.

I'm too anxious I would cause an accident. I find it really hard to judge when to go at roundabouts etc. Makes me panic. I passed my test years ago but loathe driving. Not proud of this.

I don’t drive because I never had the money when I was younger, my DH was gifted money along with his siblings to learn to drive so he did in his early 20’s, I’ve got to an age where I lack total confidence in everything I do so I would probably be a danger to the roads anyway! I do get fed up of my SIL rubbing it in my face that she can drive but I’m independent anyway so don’t rely on my DH for lifts to places, my DD can drive & passed her test at 17, my DS also wants to learn to drive in a couple of months too!

OP, you seem a bit clueless to how much it actually costs to pass your driving test. Most instructors are around £25 per hour and it can take a few months atleast to get ready for the test. Then there’s the cost of the actual driving test around £60, plus the cost of a lesson as you’ll be driving your instructors car. Don’t forget the £20 something theory too. If you fail then you have to do it all over again. Everyone has their own troubles, responsibilities and financial situations. I suggest you be more sensitive to others reasons and understand that it’s just not that easy.

I learnt to drive at 17, I lived in the countryside, so I had to. My 17 year old lives in a city, we don't own a car, and can't afford for him to learn at the moment. It totally depends on people's circumstances. Don't judge.

I don’t need to drive but I wouldn’t live anywhere where I did need to because I am one of the world’s worst drivers. I am good at lots of things, but driving isn’t one of them. I don’t have an official diagnosis but when I tried having a car and driving around I nearly caused so many accidents and found it scary. I took refresher lessons but that didn’t help. It just doesn’t suit some people’s brains I guess!

I have only been driving 3 years next month. I wish I had done it years ago. Not all can afford to do it.

It's ridiculously expensive to learn to drive!
Coming from a driver who knows. No way could I afford it now

I haven't RTFT to be honest I got as far as you scoffing at people not been able to afford to learn to drive as it is only £20.
I am the sole driver in my household, we can't afford the £20 a week for him to learn to drive, let alone the extra car and insurance at the end.
My DH doesn't use buses, taxi's etc, because we cant afford those either.

Single mum with epilepsy over here so never allowed, buses are fine? Nan never learnt to drive, she never wanted to and always got taxis everywhere.. she has done all her life and been fine with it.. her husband did drive but he had to use for work

As long as it works for the family I don't really see what the problem is. I drive, as does my dh. We both need a car and both need to be able to drive. However I know lots of families where only one Adult can drive and it doesn't seem to bother them.

DH and I both drive but I get that some people just don't want to for a whole host of reasons - No interest in driving, confidence issues, cost, physical size (being 6'8" tall), cultural reasons, lack of need, anxiety, time....
I just don't think it's a big deal OP, it doesn't affect you directly. People shouldn't have to explain why they don't want to drive to anyone, you might think the non-driver is a burden but surely it should be each to their own?

Because I made the mistake of not learning when I was 17 -20 , and have been skint ever since , learning to drive costs a bomb , the tests costs a bomb and I'm barely making enough to feed , clothe and put a roof over our head /fill existing car up let alone £25 plus for 1 hours driving lesson (you need 40 hours), £72 for a test and about £42 for theory....

Does that answer your question op ? I'd think that would be the same for a lot of people, tbh £25 x 40....plus the cost of the theory , the time , the effort....

By the way I'm in the south (Kent) and £25 a time is the cheapest lesson...Iet alone the cost of a 2nd car....and maintenance and only one of us working ...

I have Epilepsy and don't fancy having someone's death on my conscience.

Having 1 eye certainly doesn,t mean you can,t drive. (But get that it makes it harder.)

That's 1k.... I think the test is £72....or similar and theory is £42...plus there is no guarantee you'll pass first time, then you'll have to pay for more lessons . If you want a car you need to a) buy it in the first place (I dunno 3k?) , b) insure it (let's say £400-500 per annum) c) pay for road tax d) maintain it /allow for cost of repairs e) fill it up.
So by the time you've done all that that's probably easily £6/7k and that's doing it the most basic way. When you are on minimum wage and barely making rent it isn't a priority. I need to feed my family /put a roof over their head. So what if that's my priority ? Would it be yours if you were struggling? £6-7k is a lot of money.

Cost of learning depends on where you live. Was horrified when our kids learnt to discover how expensive it is in Germany. There is a minimum number of lessons which have to be taken under various conditions (town,country, night, Autobahn etc). All lessons have to be with the instructor who certifies that they have been completed. Practice is also with an instructor as an ordinary person cannot usually get insurance for a learner driver. Think 2500-3000€ per child.
Also simply because the family has a vehicle, you cannot assume that it will be available when it is needed-eg because it may be in the workplace carpark all day

I choose not to learn how to drive because:

a) I do almost everything else - earn the majority of the household income, emotional labour, mental load, family organising etc. Driving is one of the few useful things my OH can contribute to the family.
b) I prefer to walk and keep fit. Drivers seem to drive everywhere, just because they can (with exceptions of course). I'm really fit and have loads of energy because I walk everywhere, carry heavy bags etc. We have chosen to live in a place where everything is in walking distance.

I'm proud of my decision not to learn how to drive when people often say "it would be a useful skill blah blah blah, " "it gives you so much freedom" etc etc. Nope. Not for me. Driving would just increase my load. My decision has given me freedom from this particular chore. And is has given me freedom to choose to walk everywhere and keep fit.

Ps just looked up how much the driving test was on a weekday its £62 on a weekend its £75 , theory is £23.
Average for driving lessons in my area is £28-40 also . The cheapest I've found is £25....I'm on £8.23 an hour. You do the math op . I want to drive. I've wanted to for about 10 years .... but I've not been in a position too. That's why people don't most of the time. But it shouldn't affect you..live and let live and all that.

Ps I think the provisional licence fee is £42.... just to add insult to injury...