Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

For those who say they can't afford it, if everyone put aside a tenner from when their children were small they'd easily have enough money put aside for driving lessons when older.
We've done exactly that increasing the amount saved as DC got older. It paid for a car and learner insurance so she can drive between lessons. Driving lessons, tests, petrol, minor repairs and replacements to the car all extra.
We've spent around £7000 in total and DD still hasn't got her license. She's got so disheartened with the whole process she's not keen on continuing. Particularly since she's now in university in a city with everything on her doorstep and can get a direct train home for around £6. Her friend in halls with a car spends a fortune on parking and it's had a negative impact on the accommodation she can choose for the following year.

@Noconceptofnormal

Driving may be a "life skill" to you.

For me, it was something I chose to do in order to facilitate a method of transport.

But the reason I replied to your post was that, you can ask people to save a tenner every so often all they want, but I can tell you this - there won't be driving lessons by the time everyone saves up, because driving as a concept will fundamentally change.

There won't be the same levels of private car ownership; there won't be people owning a car and manually piloting it. There'll be more car rental, more sharing, perhaps more autonomous driving etc.

Jesus Christ OP, why do you give a rat's ass whether or not others drive or not? I've drove since I was 17, have to drive up and down the country and abroad for work. Doesn't make me one bit 'better' than anyone who can't drive or chooses not to. Nor do I care. Why do you?

News: Entire planet more or less on fire
OP: More people should drive

Put aside a tenner
I'll add that to the money put aside for a house deposit and uni fees shall I?
Or shall I just keep my head above water on my income?

"For those who say they can't afford it, if everyone put aside a tenner from when their children were small they'd easily have enough money put aside for driving lessons when older."

Appropriate user name.

In a car accident as a passenger at 17. Nearly died wasn't so keen on getting in a car again for a long time and lessons got abandoned. Tried again at 20 but just couldn't get the hand of a manual car and anxiety go the best of me. We lived centrally in a city with great transport links. A dialect bus service to town only a few minutes walk away and a train station 10 minutes walk away.

Then had two kids with a small age gap and could not afford lessons on part time wages, always other financial priorities.

33 now and have done my theory and will be booking my practical soon. I live in a small village with shoddy bus services and the train station is an hours walk from my house. There is no direct bus to my daughter's nursery so we do the 45 minute walk with a double buggy up a hill in all kinds of weather. I am determined this time for the kids as dd often asks why daddy can't pick her up instead.

*direct

Many reasons:

• Lessons are too expensive
• Spouse doesn't mind being the designated 'taxi'
• Not needed if living in a large city with good transport links
• Has a phobia of driving

The list goes on.

I recently passed and car ownership is turning into a bit of a headache. My first car is old and it feels like I'll be best friends with the mechanic by the end of the year!

I moved from London to a rural town and driving has become a necessity but it isn't for many. I also think that if you don't learn as a teen it just tends to be one of those things you put off - you learn to live without it.

I just think that not everyone needs to drive, yes it’s helpful and ideal but not totally necessary. I didn’t pass until I was 33 (5 years ago) and I still did things. I walked everywhere and was really fit.

This is such a strange thread. OP, it feels like you came on to MN looking for an argument.

Some people don't like driving for a variety of reasons which may mean they aren't very good drivers and so the roads are probably safer if they stay off then. On the flip side there are plenty of bad drivers who could do with a little less confidence! There is also a very sexist and dictatorial tone to your comments. Try not to judge others by your own standards - we are all different.

I wanted to add that in regards to thinking that driving is a 'life skill' consider yourself incredibly privileged.

Try telling that to the many people who live in countries where car ownership is very much a luxury!

I got mine when I was 18, drove for few years (and loved it) until I moved to the UK. I went 4 years without driving as I really did not want to drive on the other side of the road with so much traffic. Eventually built up the courage to drive and I do use the car for my commute but outside that my OH always drives as I still hate it.

I can see why it doesn't appeal to a lot of people in this country. The roads are narrow and people are allowed to park on them making them even more narrow. There are tons of roundabouts everywhere and a lot of them are confusing. On top of that other people really dont seem to know how to drive and a lot of them are on their phones. So many cars doing stupid things, going through red lights, pushing in with no right of way and slamming their breaks because they didn't pay attention to where they needed to go.

but in my opinion it is a priority

A priority for YOU
For me, staying alive is

I have epilepsy so not allowed to until I'm seizure free for a year... unfortunately that's not happened yet & I doubt my specialist would say otherwise.

I really would love to though, it's a goal of mine

Don't have the money or the time. DH drives and needs the car for work and we couldn't afford a second car so I doubt if I did learn I'd have the opportunity to drive often enough to maintain the skills and confidence needed.

I learnt quite late, at 36. I passed first time after a lot of lessons but never did feel comfortable afterwards. I don't think I have the right disposition tbh. I pay for our car lease (deducted from my salary) and dp drives. He would like me to drive but would never push me to do it.

Wow that one went fast! Well done

I think if you’re a danger behind the wheel and you know it, you don’t continue to put yourself and others at risk... I choose not to drive because a considerable amount of people don’t think like that.

I was OK learning to drive but sent to pieces during my tests.

I think there are quite enough dreadful drivers on the roads without making those who find the prospect nervewracking or who have no aptitude for it feel they have to learn, OP!

Overwhelmingly when half of a couple can't drive, it's the woman. Because apparently they're all terrified of driving yet perfectly happy to be ferried round by their husbands.
None of them had an opportunity to learn but all the men did? That doesn't make sense. Driving isn't any more accessible for men than women

Im scared of the DRIVER SIDE of a car.
But even as a passenger i still get anxious, especially when we pass a truck
Me homeless at 15, alcoholic father, no money
DP lived at home, with parents who paid for it

It's the feminist aspect which riles me. Women relying on their husbands because they're so petrified of driving. I find it embarrassing
Your attitude is embarrassing. Feminism is about having choice.
You would rather dangerous drivers on the road? Risking your life?

Let's say two women are having dinner. They leave the restaurant and its dark. Women A has her car sitting there and woman B doesn't drive. How awkward for woman A to get in her car leaving woman B standing on the pavement at night to potentially get a bus or get a cab
Thats womans A issue. Woman B is used to getting home in a cab or bus at night. Plus WA dont have to offer a lift if she so worried, she could just hang around till taxi comes

I also wonder how some women (who depend on their DH to drive,) would cope if he dies/leaves. Driving is such a great life skill
What i do when i need to get somewhere now and before I even met DP? Walk, ride a bike, catch a bus or taxi. How is that hard to understand?

Honestly, I find this damsel in distress stuff really embarrassing
Whos in distress? Not me as a non driver.
Just cos YOU would feel like a damsel in distress, dont mean we all do.
Why are you embarrassed that women choose to be safe? I dont need to drive to prop up the sisterhood.
Are you embarrassed for them men who cant drive? Are they letting down the brotherhood?

I understand anxiety but whilst some posters may proclaim to know men with anxiety around driving, this issue does seem to disproportionately affect women
So what we should have a sex change?
But seriously, women are more likely to accept things like anxiety, men hide it for fear of not being "manly"

Lots of people say they don't expect lifts, but it's often really awkward. I always feel obliged to offer. Say I'm leaving somewhere with a female friend and its late and dark and I have my car, I'd feel really shitty just driving off
Thats your issue, not the non drivers . When they say no, accept it, many dont and push and push
The non driver already accepts its dark and they get home on a bus or taxi, some may even WALK
Me and dp have had arguments over me wanting to walk to the shop, he almost gets offended if i say no i want to walk, i enjoy it. Its cos he HATES walking and cant see how i enjoy it

The test of course covers basic driving but you're mostly learning how to pass the test. It changes all the time and someone who passed a while ago might not remember the specifics and isn't trained to teach to pass the test. Teach to drive, sure, but there is a difference. Then a real driving instructor is expensive. Can be anything between £28-40 an hour where I live for lessons. Plus the cost of the tests, especially if you don't pass first time. This has literally fuck all to do with being female.

It’s hideously expensive to learn these days. I learned as a teenager and it was about £10 an hour, but I had no other expenses at that time. It must be hard justifying the cost once you’ve moved out and paying bills!