Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

Crash helmets too?

Maybe Thelma and Louise scarves.

Just as long as they're short scarves. Look what happened to poor Isadora Duncan...

Glenda, swing by to pick up myself and Squeekums, sounds like a fun trip grin and we're excellent passengers!! grin

Im in!
I shall bring snacks, lots of snacks
Now musc? what shall we have? Just see what spotify brings up

helmet on
seatbelt buckled
waiver signed

One minor mistake and someone is dead.

I can drive, I have to for work. But I absolutely hate it. Its stressful and dangerous and if I had any other option I wouldn't do it so I wouldn't recommend anyone learn unless they actually want to.

Yes, short scarves.

A sharing bag of Haribo and baby shark blasting with the windows down.

I was in a car accident when I was little, the car flipped and I was dangling upside down with the seatbelt around my neck, staring down at my baby brother with a piece of the windshield poking out his forehead.

I was also once in a parked car that suddenly started rolling down a vacant block of land, straight for a tree.

Never been able to bring myself to get behind a wheel.

But, I walk the kids to school, walk to do the groceries, walk the kids to soccer and netball, walk to the library, walk to the Doctor, walk to the playground, walk to the beach etc.

In fact I walk along the beach with my feet in the water to do the afternoon school run. Not eager to exchange that for traffic and fighting for a parking spot at school!

There are several bus stops near our house, all of which go to the train station where I can jump on a train to Sydney or a train to Westfield. I also catch the train to the hospital for my regular treatments I have, although Mum often takes me and we do something together afterwards.

DH loves to drive, the further the better. We just did a massive driving holiday across the outback, purely because he wanted to give his new car a proper workout!

DH does drive DS to his swim class, but we chose a class that was on after DH finishes work. It’s one of our favourite times of the week, watching him swim and having a chat. There is a bus that goes from the school to the leisure centre though, so he wouldn’t miss out if DH couldn’t drive us.

I’m always being offered lifts by other school mums but I can count the number of times I’ve accepted over the last 9 years of being a school mum on one hand. I turned down a lift yesterday so I could walk along the beach in the rain with my headphones in.

My Mum always offers to drive the kids too if it’s raining, she doesn’t work and loves any excuse to see the GC’s. It has to be raining pretty heavily though for DS to give up his school walk, that’s when we have the best chats.

Then there’s the money we save on fuel, insurance, rego etc.

Are you constantly being asked for lifts or something OP? You seem very angry about something that doesn’t really concern you..

A sharing bag of Haribo and baby shark blasting with the windows down

Sweet! are we incorporating dance moves for baby shark?
I also think a rendition of the ants go marching is in order

So much car accident-related trauma on this thread. I hope you understand now, OP.

Although I am a bit envious of your beachy school run, DrSpencer.

It sounds lovely.

I moved out of London about five years ago. Never needed to drive when I lived there. Would be handy here, I had a few lessons but my instructor refused to continue them. I have dsypraxia, autism and ehlers danlos syndrome. I walk as much as I can and my dp drives us if he wants to go somewhere by car. I tend to stick to places I can get to via public transport/walking so the majority of car journeys are his choice. I have never asked anyone else for a lift, though I have taken up an offer before.

I didnt want to when I was younger. Didnt need to either as always lived close enough to most places I needed to go. Plus had an older bf who drove.
Then had a baby at 19, couldn't afford it.
Single mum of 2 by 25. Couldn't afford it.
Met new partner who said he would teach me when I was ready, never got round to it and he prefers to be a driver than a passenger so actually only would have mattered if we could have afforded a second car.
Single parent again now. Can't afford it.

Dyspraxia and anxiety are the main things holding me back.

Also money for my lessons it’s £270 for 10 hours so looking around £1000+ just for lessons, car £1500/2000 for a crap one, insurance £1500+ and then all the rest. So over £5000 at least just to get on the road, who the chuff has that lying around? I certainly don’t.

You’re being seriously ignorant OP how can you possibly not understand that your situation is a one size fits all. Cost is a big factor for most so more likely to prioritise the man driving so he can work especially if the mum is at home with the kids which can be quite common, dyspraxia is classed as a learning disability it makes driving extremely difficult, time as well lots of people are time poor, childcare again people don’t have help with kids a lot of the tome and don’t have the money for childcare and lessons.

Are you always this lacking in any kind of empathy?

I drove without a problem for ten years but after a near accident I developed severe driving anxiety overnight and now I rarely drive. I've tried various treatments for it but none of them have worked.

I passed my test over 25 years ago, but I rarely drive as I often don't need to (yes, I own a car). When I passed, it cost me more than the figures you've quoted. Must be the fault of my parents for requiring me to get professional lessons then save up to get my own car. I couldn't afford to buy the car until I got a better paid job, but I still didn't drive to work as I worked right in the middle of London. Now I work in outer London, I still don't drive to work as public transport is cheaper.

Anxiety
Money
Childcare to take a lesson

I passed my test almost ten years ago, it cost me about two grand then.

My mum did her test when I was little in the mid nineties she said she paid £800 for an intensive course and her theory and practical tests.

And that’s before you buy a car add insurance etc.
I’ve just looked at how much it would cost to add my littlest Dsis to mine and DH’s car insurance I have 0 no claims as I was written off by an uninsured driver. And so it would take our premiums up from 100 to nearly 160 a month.
We’ve got a fabia estate 1.2 it’s 2013 very middling average family car.

@papayacoconut Also, what's it to you if my husband drives me everywhere?

It's nothing to me but it might be something to if or when you don't have him any more. So many of my mother's friends don't go anywhere because their husband always drove. Now they are stuck at home and can't go out.

It's nothing to me but it might be something to if or when you don't have him any more.

Thank you for your genuine concern.

I have a license but I hate driving and quite honestly am quite a bad driver. Single now, but when was married, preferred exH to do all the driving (not that he had volunteered for days out / children's activities anyway).

I'd love to be able to drive.

However a high proportion of driving instructors seem to be arseholes or conmen.

It's taken me 3 years (nervous driver) and the best part of 2 grand on lessons to get test worthy, failed 3 so far.
I should imagine that alot of people either can't afford to learn or are scared to.

I passed my test at 19. My parents took me out every day for months. I hated it. I had one proper lesson within an instructor and passed my test first time.
I couldn't afford and didn't need a car for nearly a decade. When DH and I bought a car, I had not driven for so long, I had completely lost my nerve. Refresher sessions didn't help. I was also living in a huge car- unfriendly city. I've never been able to get my limited ability and confidence back. I'm not a practical person. When I panic, my mind goes blank. I don't want to kill anyone, particularly myself and my children. DH did the driving but Im widowed now but we manage with buses, trains and taxis- and my kids are great walkers. Teenage DS is renowned for clocking up 70km walking some weeks....

Not read the whole thread but I had PTSD from watching a two cars crash in front of us and watching a person die. That will do it.

It's been 12 years and i have had a lot of lessons over the years but they always ended with a panic attack whilst driving which is obviously dangerous. I have recently started again after tackling my PTSD and have my test booked for 4 weeks.

Not everything is easy.

@dimplestoadfoot

That's just not true! I have Ménière's Disease too. Whilst you do need to inform the DVLA and stop driving initially, this is only a temporary measure until your condition is under control. Obviously you wouldn't drive if you felt an attack coming on, or if you were going through an uncontrolled period, but generally speaking, once your medication is sorted, you're GP will ok you to drive.